this year, more than ever before, thanksgiving isn’t a day of gorging ourselves and planning black Friday shopping routes. it is a day of gratitude. a day to be thankful for abundant blessings, especially for the truth that His mercies are anew each morning.
if i would have written this post yesterday, it would have been written from a place of emptiness and sorrow. i would’ve shared hollow words of gratitude – i wouldn’t have been able to offer up praise for all of the good gifts He has blessed me with in this crazy ride called life.
yesterday, i could’ve said thank you. but, my heart felt empty. my heart didn’t really want to say thank you. my heart wanted to sit on the couch and cry. alone. i didn’t want to be surrounded by family and friends full of holiday cheer. i wanted to wallow and be angry at the injustices in this world. i wanted to remind everyone that my daughter isn’t here to sit with us around this table. to eat this food that requires an afternoon nap afterward. she isn’t here. and, that is not fair.
but, today. today He has given me the grace i prayed desperately for.
i woke up from an incredibly realistic dream where i was holding my girl. we were playing hide and seek and she was laughing and smiling. i woke up missing her so very much. aching. crying out to Him, i cannot do this anymore! i miss her so much. please…make a way where i can’t see one.
and, then He whispered to my heart… she is mine. I am holding her near. for now, dear one, listen…
i listened. i heard the sweet sounds of giggles and footsteps running down the hall. these two boys. this loving, kind husband and father who knew that i needed to sleep in this morning. the three of them making breakfast, laughing together.
His mercies are new each morning. this morning, i can be thankful for all that He has done for our family. all of the miracles we have witnessed. profound, life-changing miracles. and, for the small miracles that unfold each day…the moments. the memories. the simple joys of this life.
this story that He continues to author is not my own.
despite the fact that i do not know the ending – i don’t even know what is on the next page – i can be thankful for my abundant blessings and the awesome surprises and the incredible joy that i am promised is yet to come.