Over the past few months, I have had a sense of unrest in my life. I have been feeling abundantly blessed and incredibly selfish. Wondering if I am using my gifts and resources the way I should. I have been praying specifically for God to open my eyes to what He sees and to have clarity around where and how He wants me to serve.
My eyes have been opened. Wide.
Opened to the 146 MILLION orphans in the world. Opened to child trafficking. Opened to prison-like institutions in the country of Uganda where small children are locked away with little supervision, food or water. Opened to hidden hospitals in Ethiopia where women go to have Fistula operations after they are shamed and outcast by their families due to injuries suffered during childbirth.
I cannot close my eyes or my heart to the pain in the world felt by the least of these. This is the stuff that I used to read about or see in a film and think, “how sad and tragic…” Maybe I would send a check or say a quick prayer but it wouldn’t take long for me to forget about this suffering and get back to my life.
It didn’t affect me. I could live in my bubble of safety and security and abundance and ignore the pain that innocent women and children were experiencing around the world. It was too daunting, too overwhelming and too paralyzing otherwise.
146 Million Orphans.
146 MILLION.
What could I possibly do to make a difference? This problem is so big. Too big for me.
And, that, my sweet friends, is the problem. I kept asking what I could do. That question led me nowhere. Once I started asking how God could use me to do His work, I realized that He is so much bigger than the statistics. Bigger than the need that seems unending.
He can move mountains. He can use ordinary people like me to do His work.
The most incredible thing about this change of my heart is that God was working on Dave’s heart at the same time. Our kind, loving, gentle Father was stirring in the heart of my husband independently of my own stirring. I hadn’t spoken to Dave about the call I felt because I was still sorting it all out. It was between me and my Father. It felt too sacred to discuss just yet.
Then, one day Dave casually mentioned his feeling that we were supposed to do something. Something that would require a step of faith. He felt called to Africa; Ethiopia in particular.
Our God is so incredibly loving and perfect in His timing!!
I was feeling the exact same call. At the exact same time.
God knew Dave and I needed to be at the same place spiritually in order to unite us together for this journey. We would need one another for support and encouragement and prayer. We are so much stronger together.
So, if you are still with me at this point (sorry, I know this is a long post!), you are likely wondering what we are going to do.
We are THRILLED to announce that we are going to adopt a little girl (or possibly siblings…God is really asking us to step out in faith here) from the beautiful country of Ethiopia!!
Why Adoption?
Our Father first adopted us into His kingdom through this beautiful, grace-filled, thing called adoption. He set the example. We are to follow that example. It’s as simple as that.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27
Simple Truths:
We are called to care for the orphans of this world.
We are simply called to love. To love God and to love others.
And, we believe that our lives are meant to glorify God and to build His kingdom.
Why Ethiopia?
We feel particularly called to this country. That is the only reason that matters. God asks us to care for all of the orphans of the world. We are not meant to be limited to boundaries or nationalities. Dave and I have also been particularly affected by the statistics and fate of orphans in Ethiopia due to poverty and disease.
So, we are in the midst of the paperwork stage of this journey.
Now let me say that the statement “paperwork stage” sounds fairly simple and straightforward.
It is anything but simple. It is HARD.
There have been many days when I have sat and cried and been so overwhelmed that I didn’t know where to start. I often take out our checklist and read it over and over and still wonder what I need to do. As soon as we get one document completed and I’m ready to check that off the list, I realize that there is an error with incorrect dates or signatures or wording and we have to redo the entire thing.
I spend hours on our agency’s listserv (a site where other families in various stages of the process share thoughts, suggestions, and really just unite together to support one another), or reading blogs from other adoptive families.
And, friends, I am asking for your prayers.
I know that Satan and evil are real. Spiritual warfare is real. I am witnessing it.
The enemy is at work to prevent the beautiful, redemptive work of adoption. He is causing confusion, pain and doubt. He is lengthening the process of bringing these precious children home to a loving family through lies, fear and government red tape. He isn’t just using the Ethiopian government; he is at work within our own US embassy in Ethiopia. So many families adopting through our agency are in a fight for their children. Their cases are being held up for further investigation and review. Referrals are slower than ever but the problem of starvation, disease and drought have not gone away.
Dave and I are so excited and so incredibly afraid to walk this path. However, we walk confidently knowing that God is asking us to do this and He will never leave us. We also know that He will not leave our future daughter as she experiences devastating loss and grief.
I can hardly type this without crying. I pray constantly for our future daughter and her birth family. I do not know her story yet but I know that in the midst of the beauty of adoption, we often forget that it is rooted in loss. Loss of our daughter’s birth family, her birth country and its culture.
And, oh how my heart is heavy when I think of the loss our daughter’s birth mother will experience. A mother’s heart. I can’t even think of the words to describe the grief and sorrow she will know.
Again, I am reminded of our Father’s love. His redemptive love will be at work in all of this. He will NOT leave us alone.
I heard Mandisa’s song, “Stronger,” this morning and was thankful to be reminded me of this truth, “if He started this work in your life, He will be faithful to complete it.”
I am so thankful for that promise and invite you to walk this journey with us. We have a long road ahead and I will keep everyone updated on this blog.
As it stands now, after we submit our dossier to Ethiopia (we’re waiting on our final home study and taxes…hoping to get final dossier submitted by mid-May), referral wait times are estimated to be between 18-24 months. After we receive our referral, we will travel approximately 2-3 months later to go to Ethiopian court and to meet our daughter! Assuming all goes well at the court level, we will be submitted to the US Embassy. It has been taking 2-3 months to get the Embassy appointment. At that point, we will travel again to bring her HOME.
We will have to return home without our daughter while we wait on an Embassy appointment. I am dreading that day more than I can articulate. I do not know how I will get on a plane without our daughter. I will be depending wholly and completely on God to carry me.
See what I mean about the LONG road ahead? But we know it will all be SO worth it!
I'm so happy for you and your family! I cried while reading this. You have such a beautiful caring heart and I love how you give all the glory to God during this process! You are such an inspiration! We are praying for you during this journey.
Mary
Yay!! I'm so excited for you and your family! I also cried while reading this! We love you and I can't wait to meet my new niece (and maybe more)! 🙂
Found your blog through Kelly's Korner. I'm praising God that you are stepping out to adopt. Thank you for sharing your story of infertility and adoption so openly.
Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement, Kristy!! Thanks for stopping by here!