Archives for 2017

February 7, 2017

our time away.

Truthfully, I hadn’t realized how deeply I had buried the trauma of leaving my daughter (in a place that absolutely terrified me) to fly home without her in my arms over three years ago. I hadn’t realized how scarred I was from the exhausting and defeating-at-times battles to get her home. I hadn’t realized how weary I had become from the ministry work we started several years ago, the work that has ebbed and flowed and changed and grown in miraculous ways, the work that has opened our eyes and our hearts and expanded our lives so incredulously. I hadn’t realized how this same work began to creep in and shape my identity. I didn’t see how I began to place value in the work, in the doing and the striving.

I hadn’t realized any of these things until God asked me to step onto an airplane with my husband and my four small children and fly over the sea.

I hadn’t realized the strength and magnitude of fear until I had to relinquish my comfort and my control and go where He led. Until I could step away from the distractions of life, I couldn’t really see how bound I was by my fears. I didn’t see the direct connection to one place – the country of my daughter’s birth. When God asked us to go and spend time in other African nations, I couldn’t quite understand. I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see the way He was redeeming and healing and providing renewed hope and a refreshed spirit. I couldn’t see the starting place, the place where new work would begin for our family. Even now, as we settle in back home, I know more is to come. I know the nations of South Africa and Zimbabwe are forever tethered to our family.

The time away was full. Healing began, connections deepened, quiet moments ushered in a new pace: a slower, less frantic and frazzled pace.

When I think back on our time away, I think of a few really beautiful words: Intentionality. Laughter. Calm. Contentment. & Joy.

As I continue to settle back in and start sleeping at normal times again, I imagine my brain will start functioning again:). So I promise to share some more lessons learned from our time in Africa, as well as specifics about the cities we visited and the places we stayed. Stay tuned and happy Tuesday, friends!

January 24, 2017

lessons from the past year.

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I’m spending my birthday in Cape Town, South Africa. If you would have told me six months ago that my 38th birthday would begin with breakfast on the patio of our vacation rental, overlooking the ocean lapping against boulders on the shoreline below, I don’t know that I would’ve believed you. It still doesn’t even feel real to me. This last leg of our trip is one of extreme beauty and rest and abundance. Traveling with four young kids hasn’t been easy, there have been challenges, yet the good, sweet, want-to-freeze-time moments have most assuredly outweighed any hard ones.

I have much to catch up on from our time here, I’m still processing most of what we have seen and experienced and have been too busy living in the moment, forcing myself to be present, to recap and record our days. I tell myself there will be plenty of time to look back on these moments and record them once we are back home and back to our normal routine.

Yet, as I was working through my powersheets this morning, looking back on lessons I’ve learned this past year, I realized I should take a few moments to record these lessons here, mostly as a reminder to myself.

Lessons from the last year…

~ Trust. God’s sovereignty is worthy of trust. I haven’t shared all of the messy details around plans morphing and changing and paths being rerouted this past year in regards to ministry, but I can now look back on the twists and turns and clearly see God’s hand. His hand of protection, of guidance, of mercy and of grace. As we stand on the cusp on a new path, I am confident He has this. Only through our obedience, not our own power, will we succeed. My role, my identity, my calling are all securely placed in the palm of my Abba Father. I can release the need for control and the exhaustion of striving. I can walk in freedom.

~ Small. Quiet. Still. <<– Infinitely more powerful than loud, flashy and overstretched.

~ Small increments lead to progress. When I can’t see the full picture and I don’t know my place in the larger story, I simply need to start. I need to do the one thing before me, then do the next thing before me, and the next and the next. It sounds too simple, as though I need a complicated instruction manual for a fulfilling life. I don’t. It is simple. Just take the first step and trust God for the rest.

~ God plants us in communities and places for a season. Sometimes, He calls us to new places – scary, uncomfortable, unknown places. Yet, His promise to Moses remains true even today, even to me: “Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you.” {Numbers 1:5}

~ Obedience brings blessing and life. This trip was against every natural pull toward comfort and safety, God knew how hard I would have to battle the enemy in order to step on that plane, in order to fight through the dark of night, in order to step into His blessing. He knew I would have to release every ounce of control and walk in absolute trust. He knew I would need prayer warriors holding our family through the long nights. He knew I would resist the blessing, the rest. He knew. Yet, here I am. I’ve walked through refining fire this month. I’ve battled long-ago buried demons. I’ve trusted God to show up. And, He has. Abundantly, faithfully, overwhelmingly. This time away, on the continent of our daughter’s birth country, holds so much pain and so much promise. I am slowly learning how pain and promise often intermingle and, only through obediently stepping into the pain, can we walk in the beauty of the promise.

January 17, 2017

The kids of Musha Wevana

I’m typing these words from the front patio of our “family cottage” here at Mongena Game Lodge near Pretoria, South Africa. The thatch roof effectively shielding me from the blazing African sun, the gentle breeze keeping me cool. Charlotte is inside napping while the big kids watch a movie, all four snuggled together on our fluffy king-sized bed. Dave is beside me, quietly reading. Every so often, I glance up from the screen to watch a momma and baby zebra slowly trot past or a herd of Nyala leap through the brush. If I close my eyes, I can hear only the rhythm of my own breath, coupled with the whistles and peaceful melodies of dozens of bird species nestled in the trees surrounding our cottage.

The contrast of this moment with the ones I have experienced over the past week is not lost on me. This serene, surreal setting feels other-worldly, not unlike a Hollywood movie set. All the while, the hardships, suffering, and extreme poverty I’ve witnessed still loom closely at the forefront of my consciousness.

I’ve yet to fully process my time in Zimbabwe and even our visit to the poverty-stricken townships here in South Africa.

For whatever reason, my brain is wired to process through the written word. So, I apologize in advance for the lack of tidiness and eloquence in this post. I’m just writing and processing as I go. I feel such an urge to get these moments, these memories, these stories, recorded. I know the stories will continue to roll around in my mind and heart in the days and months and years to come. For now, I thought I would simply share a few of the moments that struck me most profoundly while in Zimbabwe…

Pastor John and his wife, Orpah, exude love. I can’t recall ever meeting a more God-fearing, joyful-despite-circumstance, and humble husband and wife team. They are truly living in the center of God’s will and call on their lives. Their smiles, warm embraces and genuine compassion are contagious. Staying in their home and feeling like a part of their extended family was an honor and a privilege.

The children living at Musha WeVana Children’s Home, served by Pastor John and his church, Family Life Fellowship, are absolutely, positively precious. The needs there are great, yet the community of people caring for these 80 orphaned children make up for lack of resources in selfless and generous love. I was so impressed by the way the kids are so beautifully integrated into the community there in Marondera. What stood out to me most were the bright eyes of the children. Eyes holding life and hope and laughter.

I was able to meet, laugh with and be throughly entertained by our family’s sponsored child at Musha, a little boy named Blessing. His name could not be more appropriate for the impact he has had on my own life. He is hilarious and ornery and made all of us girls laugh so hard! I know my boys would get a kick out of his hysterical personality.

I spent the better part of a day listening to each child share his or her dreams with me as I recorded video footage to be shown to new sponsors and at our City Sessions shows. DREAMS! Big, beautiful dreams! I heard from future pilots and teachers and doctors and nurses and a lawyer and a judge and a psychologist and, a boy who absolutely captured my heart, a future pastor. These children are not without hope, they have bright goals for their futures – this is such a huge testament to the good work being done in this place.

We visited the children on the afternoon before the start of a new year of school and were able to help distribute new school uniforms, shoes and backpacks (all covered by child sponsorship fees)! I was on backpack distribution duty and I LOVED watching the children beam as they received their brand-new backpack. One little boy hugged and kissed it all over. 🙂 We listened as the caregivers explained the impact of these school uniforms – not only are they required for school attendance, but they allow the children of Musha to fit in with the other kids at school, rather than standing out as an “orphan.” *I know how hard we have worked with our own daughter to overcome her previous identity of orphan – the stigma, shame and lies of the enemy are deeply rooted in these children. Fitting in with “regular” kids from the community is HUGE and so, so beautiful.

We had the awesome privilege of attending church at Family Praise Fellowship on Sunday. I can say without reservation that it was the most powerful, pure and holy worship I have ever experienced. Members of the congregation prayed and sang as the Spirit led. At one point, Dr. Ferrerai (I’m 99% sure I’m spelling that incorrectly, so sorry, Dr. Ferrerai) recounted hardships they have endured as a community and as a nation, then he turned it all into praise. The community praised God for their blessings despite their hardships and sufferings, singing “Blessed be the Name of the Lord” in harmonious response.

We had the opportunity to meet for a long lunch, hosted by Pastor John and Orpah in their home, with the members of the Musha WeVana leadership committee. Each person in that room exudes love and kindness toward the children at Musha. They sincerely spend their days pouring themselves out on behalf of these kids.

I left with such a strong sense of hope and purpose and determination. I know God brought Dave to this place over a year ago for a purpose. And, I know He did the same for me. We also have big dreams for these children. We have renewed enthusiasm to go home and work hard, advocating for these precious ones. I honestly don’t know all that God has in store for our family in connection with this beautiful land and these beautiful, warm-hearted people, yet I know there is something in the works. He went before us many years ago preparing us for this work. Our connection to this country and these children runs deep… starting originally with our first child sponsored at Musha through Help One Now about 7 years ago. Seeds have been planted in our hearts along the way, tethering us to this continent in profound and deep ways.

*If you would like to join the tribe supporting this incredible work in Zimbabwe, you can become a child sponsor for one of the 80 children living at Musha WeVana Children’s home. Help One Now’s model for child sponsorship is innovative, in that every child is sponsored 5 times in order to ensure their life-changing, 24/7 care, education, food, clothing and medical needs are consistently met, and to support their local leaders and allow them to improve the living situations for all of the children in their care. Learn more about child sponsorship HERE.

Currently, there are 302 open sponsorships in this community. You guys, if we could even cover a third of these sponsorships, we could fund so many immediate needs at the home!! Needs including vocational training for the older children, a social worker to be hired, after-school tutoring to help the children who are struggling in the large government operated schools, a vehicle to be used for reunification (#1 goal for any abandoned child!) and family visits with reunified children. The vehicle could also be used to drive the children to and from school – as they currently walk. We saw the need firsthand when the children attended church on Sunday during a rainstorm. They were soaking wet, yet continued to worship alongside us.

I’ve seen the impact of our donations here and I’ve also seen the potential. The leaders of this community are good stewards of the funds given and the money directly impacts these children. Please, please pray about joining Help One Now and Pastor John in this work. I can assure you, although it feels as though our meager offering of $40/month feels insignificant, it is NOT. It is powerful and life-changing for these children!

Dave and I are fully committed to the work Help One Now is doing around the globe. We originally decided to partner with this team because of the integrity of the leaders here. As we’ve learned more and more about the organization, visited communities around the world, and seen the impact of their work, we are absolutely confident we made the right decision. God began a work in us through Feed Their Tummies and He has expanded our heart and our vision through the partnership with Help One Now. While the feeding program in Congo continues, we know God is asking us to come alongside Pastor John in Zimbabwe and resource him and his team to be able to do the life-changing work of empowerment for these children. We would love for you to join us!

***Please let me know if you choose a Musha WeVana child to sponsor, I have videos and photos and a little surprise I would like to send your way!!!

Read more from my friends Vicki and Jenny – they each shared their unique perspectives from the trip. I know you will be blessed by their words! Check out Vicki’s post HERE, and Jenny’s post HERE.

January 7, 2017

Walking in Faith {first days as a family in Africa}

If you’ve seen my photos on instagram (sporadicly shared photos – internet connection hasn’t been reliable so far), you know our family has arrived in Africa! The LONG flight (15 hours from Atlanta to Johannesburg) went really well. I can’t help myself, I have to brag for a moment – our kids were rockstars throughout the two long days of travel. They all slept great on the plane and loved the unlimited access to movies and iPad game time.

Our first couple of days here were slow and full of resting and downtime. We grocery shopped, swam and spent a day with friends in the area – our kids immediately hit it off and played as though they’ve known one another for years. The adaptability of kiddos and their innate curiosity makes them naturals for traveling to new places.

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We decided to travel as a family to South Africa after I committed to a trip with Help One Now to Zimbabwe. Dave and I both strongly feel God calling us to this place. We don’t know what our role will be here but we know Pastor John, his wife Orpah, their local church and Help One Now are doing incredible, Kingdom-building work here and we want to come alongside them in some way. I knew God was asking me to come meet the leaders and the children and to learn about the work being done.

This trip was also about being obedient when God calls. As much as I wanted to ignore the call, as much as I wanted to stay home where it is safe and comfortable, I knew I had to go. Dave and I figured we might as well make the trip a once-in-a-lifetime experience for our whole family. They have stayed behind in South Africa, while I’m here in Zim for the week. After I arrive back in Johannesburg, we will go on together to serve with our friends who run a ministry just outside of Pretoria, spend a few days on a game reserve, travel to the eastern coast and then to Cape Town in order relax and unwind before going back home to the freezing temperatures and demands of regular life.

As we prepared for this trip, God gave me a couple of visions. The first: a starting line, with our family standing at the start of a freshly paved path.

“You’ve been wandering around this hill country long enough; turn northward.” Deuteronomy 2:3

In the other, I could see our family standing together with heavy bags on our backs and shoulders. Slowly, we each heaved the bags to the floor. While doing so, we exhaled deeply and audibly.

I think God is inviting us into a season of restoration, asking us to lay down the burdens and pain of the past few years. I have seen this trip as a very specific opportunity for healing. A time to redeem what the locusts have stolen from my daughter and our family. My hope is that seeing some place new, on the same continent as Sylvie’s birth country, will add to her (and my own) memories of Africa with ones of wholeness. Memories that include our entire family together, witnessing beauty and experiencing peacefulness.

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I won’t pretend I was brave boarding that flight to Zimbabwe, leaving Dave and my babies behind in a foreign country. I woke up at midnight the night before I left, gripped with fear. I couldn’t shake my worries and found myself texting a few close friends who are praying for our family. I re-listened to a voicemail another friend left before we traveled, reminding me that fear is a spirit from the enemy. I have the power and authority through Christ to capture and bind fear. For God does not give us a spirit of fear – He casts out all fear with His perfect love. As I prayed and friends on the other side of the ocean prayed with me, I felt peace descend.

The next morning, before leaving for the airport, I opened my Bible and was led to Deuteronomy 4:40:

“If you obey all the laws and commands that I will give you today, all will be well with you and your children. Then you will enjoy a long life in the land the Lord your God is giving you for all time.”

It wasn’t until I read the note I had written in the margins that I realized what God was showing me. I had written, “Obedience brings blessing and life.”

God knows me. He knows the last place I want to be is in a metal tube in the sky away from my family. So, with five words, He reminded me that my going to this unknown place for an unknown purpose is an act of obedience. I’m walking not of my own power but through faith alone.

***

When Dave and the kids dropped me off at the airport, I was a blubbering mess. My sweet Ben looked at me and said, “Momma, I’m proud of you.” That did it. I was undone and filled up in the same moment.

Teary goodbyes were said, multiple hugs were given, and then I slowly made my way into the airport. I checked in and found myself standing at the entrance to the security line for what seemed like hours, paralyzed in fear. I wanted to turn around and run back to my family. I didn’t want to face unknowns. I didn’t want to step into any more pain. Images from my time in Congo replayed in my mind again and again. Other than the couple of days I had just spent in South Africa, Congo was my only reference point for what life is like in Africa. As much as I love the country and the people there, my experiences there were painful and really hard.

Then, we landed here in Zimbabwe and walked into an airport not unlike millions of others around the globe. There were no machine guns or shouting. No chaos. Instead, orderly, calm lines waiting to receive entrance visas. The customs officer joked with me as he stamped my passport. Armed guards didn’t stand at the exit, searching through my bag only to take whatever items suited them. We simply exited the airport peacefully. God whispered to my heart, See. It is going to be different this time.

Greeting us, Pastor John Chinyowa.

Dave met Pastor John when he traveled here a little over a year ago and has been telling me ever since that I had to come and meet him for myself. Now, I see why. This is a man of God. He absolutely exudes joy.

As we drove to lunch and then on to Pastor John’s warm and welcoming home, I was struck by the beauty of this place. The lushness of the land, the vivid green grass and trees, the bright blue of the clear sky. After arriving to his home, we walked to the end of the road in order to see the sunset. By this time, dark clouds had rolled in, covering the glow of the setting sun. Regardless, the dark clouds could not conceal the awe-inspiring beauty before us.

I think that is the lesson for my first day here in Zimbabwe: No matter how dark the clouds, beauty remains.

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The heavens tell of the glory of God.

The skies display his marvelous craftsmanship.

Psalm 19:1