Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

a first day.

Sweet girl started school yesterday. It wasn’t planned, which is the way things typically happen around here. The day prior, our neighbor came over to watch the kiddos for a couple of hours while I went to a Feed Their Tummies meeting {which was amazing, by the way – lots to share later}. Everyone had the BEST time with Ms. Mary and Sylvie did so amazingly well that it got me thinking that maybe she could attend the little daycare/pre-school Ms Mary runs out of her home. 
Sylvie has been asking to go to school for several months so I asked Mary if we could try out a couple of mornings a week to see how she does. Mary agreed and we decided to just jump right in and start the next morning. No sense in preparing her for a big life change or anything. {Sarcasm. Sorry, Karen Purvis. But, who am I kidding, Charlotte had a doctor’s appointment and ONE child in a doctor’s office sounded like bliss}. 

Oh my word. When she woke up and I told her that she was going to school, she was ELATED. She picked out her clothes and got dressed in record time.

I was really nervous about drop off and planned to be there a while to help her get settled. Thankfully, it was anti-climatic: she simply shouted “bye mom! love you!” and gave me a hug and a kiss before running right into that little room with no tears or apprehension. I was a crazy mix of emotions: proud and sad and excited and nervous and a little shocked.

Ms. Mary kept me updated all morning through photos and texts. Sylvie had a really great day. When I arrived to pick her up, she told me to wait “five minutes” because she was getting her baby to sleep with her new little friend. They were each rocking a baby doll tightly swaddled in a blanket. I had to wait for her “baby” to be carefully placed in her basinet before receiving my big hug.

I am constantly amazed by this little girl. Her joyful spirit and ability to laugh and love after all that she has endured and everything and everyone she has lost, is astounding. When I picked her up from this new experience, this new place, I was overwhelmed with a rush of pride and love.

By no means am I saying adoption is easy or that things are going perfectly around here. We have really hard moments. In fact, it’s harder than I thought it would be. I thought I was prepared – I had taken the classes, I had read the books, I had attended the seminars – but, in reality, nothing could have prepared me for what our life would be like once our little miss stepped off that plane.

With that being said, I have experienced God’s love in intimate, abundant waves over the past seven months. I consider it an immense privilege to be Sylvie’s momma. Some days, I am overwhelmed with exhaustion and frustration. Other days, I step back for a moment and I see it. I see His redemption shining through. I see the healing. I see the fear fading. I see restoration. And, I stop right where I am and praise Him.

I fully realize that not all of our stories can be tied up neatly in a pretty bow. Even still, I can stand firm on the truth that He is good and His plans are for our good. And, although these plans He has for us are far from easy and the paths are far from smooth- in fact they are broken and messy- He uses that brokenness and transforms the mess in order to create something overwhelmingly beautiful.

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