an update & a birthday

please keep praying for baby Evan. the doctors have been running test after test and there is still not a definite cause for his illness. he was intubated and the machine is helping him breathe which is allowing him to rest. we are praying that this rest allows his little heart to heal on it’s own.

please pray that it does. that is the absolute best case scenario.

as with any infant illness, the scenarios are varied and each day presents a roller-coaster of emotions and prognosis possibilities. 


i’m praying boldly for complete and absolute healing. i’m praying for the doctors to be baffled by his sudden, miraculous recovery. i’m praying for God to work in such a mighty way that no one can do anything but give God glory and praise. will you please join me in this prayer?

i have had a hard time posting on this blog over the past few days. my thoughts are consumed with my precious friend and her baby boy. we have been trying to stay busy here in florida and the days are passing by in somewhat of a haze.

i did want to jump on here tonight to share a few thoughts on our girl’s birthday. she turned one on the 16th. you can read more here about how powerfully God reminded me that His plans are far greater than I could ever begin to imagine. they always are, aren’t they?

i was very thankful for that reminder on the morning of her birthday. to be perfectly honest, i was feeling so many emotions and the one that kept rising to the surface was ambivalence. more than ever, it felt like we were walking on a path that would lead to heartache. she felt farther away than ever before. i felt cheated. and alone.

and then, i just felt grief and sorrow. for her. for us. for all that she has lost. for all that we have missed out on with her. for the pain she has had to endure. for the uncertainty of it all.

i wanted to make the day special. we spent the afternoon driving to a park about an hour away to meet up with one of my dear adoptive-momma friends, jenna. jenna and i met at last year’s created for care retreat and have become close friends since. she will be bringing home her daughter soon {we are praying that it is very, very soon} and she has been such an encourager and prayer warrior for me during this journey.

my boys are typically more interested in snacks than just about anything.

we had such a good visit and i loved being able to commiserate with someone who gets it. who has walked in my shoes and knows what i’m feeling even when i can’t find the words. i was so thankful God orchestrated our visit on that day, when i needed it most.

worst quality photo ever but i still love it. we are going to take another one someday with our boys and our little girlies. 🙂

after nathan threw up on the playground {yes, this is just a normal occurrence…welcome to my crazy life}, we had to run out. mostly because it was slightly embarrassing and just gross. it reminded me of the time he cleared out the splash park and the time we were on the moving sidewalk in the penguin display at sea world. we still can’t figure out why he gets sick so easily and so often. doctors thought he would have grown out of it by now. needless to say, it put a little damper in our day.

after the park, we drove back toward my parent’s house and decided to meet the rest of the family for dinner to celebrate S’s birthday. the boys hadn’t napped and dinner included tantrums and crying. again, not exactly what i had planned.

after dinner, we walked around the cute little downtown winter garden area and redeemed the day with laughter and smiles.

i had planned to bake a cake with the boys for S, but that didn’t happen either. instead, we stopped in for some frozen yogurt. i really wanted to blow out a candle for our girl but we didn’t have one. so, we just sang to her and rested in the fact that next year, she will be the one to blow out her candles.

at the end of the day, i was reminded that my perfect plans in my mind are not real life. life is messy and imperfect. life is the adventure that unfolds when we just let go of expectations and appreciate the moments as they unfold.

and, gratitude flowed as i focused on the family and friends that have linked arms with us as we walk this journey.

such a beautiful text i received from a sweet friend.