Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

the lake cottage

Several years ago, Dave bought a little slice of land on the shore of a nearby lake. He bought the land sight unseen at a tax auction and, because the price was extremely low, we assumed it was unbuildable, most likely on the edge of a cliff (lots in that particular area tend to be on cliffs without access to the water).

He attends these auctions regularly (the farmhouse was moved to land he purchased at an auction, as well) and typically uses the land purchased for business purposes. This time, however, we held onto the lakefront slice of land for several years before we went out to look at it. We truly assumed it was rather invaluable property that he and the boys would use for fishing and nothing more.

One fall afternoon, we decided to drive out to check on the long-shot possibility that the land could be built on and was at least in proximity to the water. What we found took us by complete surprise. An overgrown patch of land, covered in thistles and vines and trees, beside a small cove with a gentle slope right down to the water.

We decided then and there that this land would be the place where family memories would be made for years to come. For a couple of years, we simply spent long days on the shore, swimming and picnicking at the water’s edge. We spent nights grilling hamburgers, making smores’ and camping under the stars (well, the boys camped…the girls and I joined in an RV;)), and we started dreaming about a cottage where we could escape on weekends and during breaks from school.

We spent almost two years designing and building the cottage, bringing it to life in the limited white space on our calendars. Many late nights were spent dreaming together and drawing out the perfect floor plan to maximize every inch of space. I spent days and days and days searching for the perfect fixtures and hardware while Dave would sneak in hours of work here and there building and framing and tiling. The floors and walls are covered in wood Dave milled and planed from trees a tornado destroyed on our farm. Every inch of the cottage is a labor of love for our family.

Nestled in the woods, with the lapping of the waves creating a gentle background melody, this little space has been such a sweet blessing for our crew. One we never even dreamt of or imagined on our own. One we didn’t seek out or try to create. It just took shape, in the way that God seems to work most often, slowly… one small step at a time.

I haven’t really done a “house tour” of this space for many reasons. I think the main reason being that it feels too sacred to share. I fully realize even as I type that sentence how it sounds melodramatic. But, I’m telling you, there is a feeling when you walk through the door…an exhale…that can’t be conveyed through photos or words.

Even still, this online journal has documented so much for our family over the years and I thought it would be fun to share a few shots of the process of building and some glimpses into the final spaces. It’s not a complete tour, just a a few photo snippets I’ve accumulated over the past few months.

The latest project at the lake is the build of an “epic tree house.” Dave and the boys are in process of finishing it up and I imagine many, many adventures taking place in the years to come up there.
The bedrooms are designed to hold as many kiddos and friends as possible. The boys have a bunk room that I have yet to photograph… I’ll have to share and update soon.
  • Board games are a consistent presence at the lake.
  • Dave built almost all of the furniture…with the exception of the sofa and beds. 🙂
  • The dining table and bourbon cabinet were built by Dave.
  • The entry console…again, built by Dave. The painting is an original by Melissa Griffith.
  • This sofa is my very favorite…it’s the Sven by Article.
  • I found this sink in a pile of junk at antique shop and had it refurbished and painted.
  • Dave’s uncle built this canoe when he was a kid and his parents surprised him with it as a birthday gift last year.

This place is sacred for our family and has been such a sweet gift. I love thinking of our kiddos creating childhood memories here, and, eventually, bringing their own babies out to this little cottage on the shore. While traveling to new spots is always an adventure and a thrill, there is just something extra special about a cozy, comfortable place that feels like home. Like a soft landing from the outside world, I pray that this cottage continues to beckon us back together with the allure of rest and laughter for many, many years to come.

a much-needed break.

In the busyness of life, white space often feels illusive. Days are brimming with obligations and unread emails and making beds and renovation decisions and laundry and conference calls and soccer practice. I forget to plan ahead for dinner and find myself scrambling at the end of a long day to transform the meager contents of the fridge (grocery store runs always fall to the bottom of my list) into something edible for my family. I sign reading logs and practice math facts and ensure teeth are brushed and soap is used in the bath (why is it so difficult to remember to use soap? Is this quandary unique to my little people? Tell me it isn’t so…). I close my eye and smile as sweet voices lift up words of thankfulness for the little moments from the day before offering up innocent pleas for “a healthy baby brother” and “protection for our animals” and healing for a scratch or a sore throat or an “infection in my ear,” I kiss foreheads and tell stories and finally collapse into my own bed. Exhausted physically but so very full.

Enter, Spring Break.

The calendar for this entire week has been blissfully empty. A week specifically set aside for rest and laying down responsibilities. The weather practically showed off all week – sunshine, cool temperatures and chilly nights – perfect for exploring outside during the day and making bonfires with s’mores in the evenings.

We have had our share of sibling squabbles, please don’t envision us sitting around singing and laughing all day through. Even still, the sweet moments have far outweighed the hard ones. After being cooped up inside for the long, dreary winter months, my little people have essentially thrown on their shoes in the morning and let their imaginations lead them on outdoor adventures throughout the day. The boys worked together for two days constructing a rock pathway from the house to the lake, the girls have rehearsed their ballet performance on “stage” countless times (stage=daddy’s equipment trailer or a large rock; any flat surface will suffice), a puzzle is in constant progress on the dining table, a tree fort design has been finalized with work commencing this afternoon, fish have been beckoned with reels and turkey dogs (no luck just yet;)), and underground caverns have been explored.

As the remodel work on our house continues, and the countdown to the arrival of Baby Luke rapidly progresses (89 days to go!), I could not be more grateful for this blissful week of calm in the midst of our typically crazy lives. I feel like God has used this time to prepare my heart for the season we are poised to embark on.

As we approach the close of our chapter as a family of six, I am at peace. If I’m honest, the news of baby #5 was not met with immediate peace and exuberance. It took me a minute to wrap my mind around the fact that my plans were about to take a major detour – a miraculous one, yes – but a detour nonetheless. I had just started finding my footing again after a really hard season of raising a whole lot of really little people (4 under 4 can threaten to make a sane person rather crazy), dealing with unsettling health issues caused by extreme stress and PTSD from our traumatized daughter’s behavior and subsequent attachment disorder (that’s a whole other post for a whole other time, adoptive mommas – just know, we are in this together and it is hard and secondary trauma is very, very real but healing is possible), and feeling whole again as I started to work more consistently and write and take up running again. All the things I had placed on the back-burner for a few years were, once again, bubbling at the surface and allowing me to feel like my old self.

Charlotte will be starting kindergarten in the fall (somebody hold me). While I know I will be crying in a corner missing my little sidekick for a day or two (or three), I also had big plans for the new freedoms this would allow in my schedule. I could once again work at a more full-time pace and actually put my butt in the chair and start writing the book I have had swirling around in my mind for a couple of years. I considered training again for another long distance race (considered being the key word here;)) and started regularly attending a physically and emotionally rewarding pilates class. Dave and I started planning and dreaming about spending the summer back in our beloved South Africa and Zimbabwe as a family.

The VERY unexpected two pink lines threw a rather large kink in my nicely laid plans. I may or may not have marched outside, stick in hand, to find Dave and lay the news on him. I walked out of the garage just as he was headed back inside and, as we intersected on the driveway, I took the opportunity to kindly relay the wonderful news to him in the form of a stick thrown to his forehead.

It was not my finest moment.

He reacted in the calm, cool, level-headed way he always does while I sat in the driveway and cried for thirty minutes.

I’m so sorry, Luke. If you read these words one day, know that you are loved beyond measure and God has big, big plans for your life. He knew that despite my own selfishness, your life is the best gift He could have ever given our family. Your life was planned for this exact moment in the timeline of history. I may have not had you on my radar for 2019 but, goodness gracious, God did. And, God’s plans and timing are perfect and far greater than my own silly plans to run or work (two things I don’t even really like to do all that much;)) or “get my life back” – a lie straight from the enemy. My life has always been carefully and preciously held in the hands of my Father. And, even more importantly, my dreams have been shaped by God’s desires and are exceedingly better than they ever were ten years ago – before I had this loud, crazy, beautiful family of mine.

I may feel too old to start over again. I may feel ill-equipped to manage the emotions and spiritual development and laundry and school registration forms of five little people. I may feel overwhelmed some days with the sheer amount of stuff we continually accumulate and sort through and donate. I may feel completely insufficient at remembering preschool snack days or keeping all the school dress-up days straight or remembering to attend the 10:00 ballet class on Tuesday mornings consistently.

BUT, God.

He knows these five little loves of mine don’t need an organized momma or a momma who greets them after school with freshly-baked-from-scratch cookies or a momma who gets it right all the time and never has to apologize for her bad attitude or unkind words.

He knows they need a momma who loves them with a ferocity that could take on the very legions of hell. He knows they need a momma who will stand with them and be there for them no matter what life throws their way. He knows they need a momma who can’t “juggle it all” or live up to the standards of the world because she knows her need for Jesus and knows she is nothing in her own strength. He knows they need a momma to show them the upside-down Kingdom of God. He knows they need a momma who lives life with her plans surrendered in hopeful expectation of all God has in store. He knows they need a momma to teach them about life’s detours and the goodness of God in the midst of every unexpected turn.

He knows.

And, as we take our steps toward a new season as a family of seven, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I find myself awestruck that God would give so many good gifts to little ole’ me, someone who messes up all the time and is ridiculously undeserving.

And, I think that’s the whole point. To make a regular habit of pausing, taking an inventory of my many gifts from above and to offer up praise to the bestower of each and every one.

Away from the rush, toward the still.

Three days.

Only three more days to finish the shopping, wrapping, baking, card sending… the rushing… the crafting of Christmas, the creating of memories.

What if we look at our list of unfinished projects and unchecked to-dos and determine how many could actually fall off the list? What if we reprioritize these final days of Advent away from the rush and, instead, toward the still? Jesus came to give us peace, after all. What if we chase after that peace with fresh eyes and hearts bent toward Him?

Our little crew escaped to the woods for a couple of nights to slow down together. Here, we wake to a quiet, gentler pace inviting us to linger on the back porch simply to watch the day awaken. We walk along deserted dirt roads, shrouded in tree cover and experience the peace that accompanies unplugging from the frantic pace of our culture. 

What a gift this little place has become for our family. We spent three years building it in the nooks and crannies and white spaces of our days. We dreamt big dreams at the water’s edge and we have prayed that these four walls would be a refuge of peace and generous hospitality for all who enter.

As we walk these last days toward Christmas, we knew the only way to truly unplug would be to get away from the pull to do more and buy more. Here, we can focus on puzzles and morning pancakes. We can sit before the roaring fire and be still. We can walk along the water’s edge and skip rocks across the still surface of the lake. We can challenge one another to yet another game of Connect 4 and eat one more bowl of freshly popped popcorn. Here, we make memories that aren’t forced or crafted.

I really and truly can’t think of a better way to spend this last weekend before Christmas.

      Wherever this weekend finds you, I hope you can find a few minutes to turn off the scrolling (and unending) list of to-dos in your head and focus on your people.

      Merriest of Christmases to you all! ♥️

      a tiny tick can wreak unexpected havoc.

      Not unlike generations of boys who have gone before them, my seven-year-old twins, Ben and Nathan, spent summer afternoons exploring the thick, lush woods surrounding their self-appointed fort on the shores of Beaver lake. Aside from the occasional swim break to cool off, the hours unearthing treasures and cultivating adventure along the shoreline formed the framework for their summer memories. Despite working our way through countless bottles of bug spray, evening tick checks often resulted in the discovery of at least one or two tiny little pests hidden on their skin.

      Months later, long past the scorching heat of summer, our family found ourselves dealing with the unexpected aftermath of those camping adventures in the woods.

      ….You can read my full article detailing our experience with an Alpah-Gal allergy over at Peekaboo Magazine. 

      summer days.

      July officially kicked off summer for our little tribe.

      I knew in advance June would be insanely busy — thank goodness Nana came to town to watch the littles while Dave and I put in long hours on a big building/design project and we launched The Berry Farm. I kept saying, “we just need to make it to July…” over and over. Once July rolled around, we were READY.

      July has been full with days at the pool, VBS (I shamelessly signed my people up for VBS all over town…), friends visiting from out of town, trying to stay cool in the 1 billion degree heat, swim team, camping… all the things. We have been simultaneously relaxed and exhausted. My little people are either playing and laughing or melting down and bickering. There seems to be no in-between. Is this the case for households everywhere during the summer months???! While the days fly by quickly and the beginning of school is approaching rapidly, the minutes seem to creep along some afternoons. Such is life with littles.

      Swim Team.

      The boys had a short swim team season, as we are heading out to visit our family in Florida later this week and they’ll have to miss the rest of the season. I would argue that swim team is the absolute best sport for little people! It’s only a few weeks long in the summer and the meets are so fun. We have loved it and look forward to Sylvie joining the boys next year.

      Camping. 

      Oh, camping. I am not a tent camper, you guys. I’m sorry, I know some people love to camp and pitch a tent and be in the wilderness. I am not one of those people. I like running water and flushing toilets. A lot. I realized how much so when we decided to camp out last weekend in our super-old-rickety-Craigslist-purchase-by-Dave-RV (you can guess how I felt when he drove that beauty home, stepped out, and quoted his favorite line from a movie, “That there’s an RV, Clark” Oh, Dave).

      A certain child who will remain nameless likes to push buttons, literally. She will push any and every actual tangible button that she is asked not to touch. Thus, she pushed the water pump button after Dave made a proclamation that no one – under any circumstances – touch it. It wasn’t working right for some reason and when this sweet-angel-child decided to push the button (because she was told not to, obviously), we didn’t realize it until the entirety of the water tank had emptied itself INSIDE the RV.

      Puddles and puddles of water filled the lovely carpeted floor.

      Ta-da! No more running water. Epitome of First World Problems, people.

      Even still, we had the most fun and relaxing – best of all, completely unplugged – weekend. We grilled out and roasted marshmallows and swam in the lake for two days. Friends came out to visit and swim and laugh with us at the water’s edge. Even without running water, it was pretty perfect.

      This shirt. This was the shirt we had made for Sylvie during our adoption process. Now, it fits Charlotte. What a visual reminder that God will truly do more than we could ever ask or imagine.

      Dave purchased this lake-front property years ago at a tax auction. Because it sold for pennies, we assumed it either didn’t have lake access or we couldn’t build on it. He just bought it because 1) he can’t help himself at an auction, and 2) he figured we could use it for camping. When we visited the lot for the first time, we were shocked. The lot is fairly flat, has lake access and is surrounded by state-protected land that can’t be built on. It is secluded and so beautiful.

      We decided to build a little cottage (think 1,200 square feet with every nook and cranny optimally maximized) on the land. Because we work on it in the bits and pieces of time our schedules allow and Dave is doing 99% of the building work himself, it’s taking approximately forever to finish. The exterior is mostly complete, so we used the deck for grilling and relaxing. It looks like a completed house from the outside. A mirage! The interior is far from finished. Someday, someday. We will have this place to stay and relax and invite others to do the same. Until then, we are out there making memories as often as we can anyhow!

      Happy Summer, friends!! May we all soak up the sunny days and free time to explore and let imaginations run wild this week!