Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

Go. Be Love.

When I was four years old, I taught myself to recite the alphabet backwards.
“Z Y X W V U T S R Q P O N M L K J I H G F E D C B A”
I can still distinctly remember sitting in the little classroom that I had set up in the corner of our back porch memorizing these letters. I would sit for hours on end (or at least that’s how I remember it… it was probably more like 15 minutes at a time) and I would study the alphabet I had written on my chalkboard backwards.
I didn’t have a particular reason for this. I just wanted to be able to do it.
My mom used to have me recite it for our family and friends all the time. It was my little talent. Oh, how I loved seeing how proud my mom was of me when I would recite those 26 letters flawlessly backwards.
That bizarre skill has served absolutely no purpose in my life other than making my four year old self feel brilliant.
I had completely forgotten about this until this story came to mind as I was soaking in the words Beth Moore had spoken during the recent Living Proof Live event I attended.
As I take a good, hard look at my life right now, I can identify areas where I am spending ridiculous amounts of time and energy working at things that serve no greater purpose than to make myself feel good. I’m spinning my wheels in order to learn the alphabet backwards (metaphorically speaking).

A-hem. That’s a hard pill to swallow.

You see, it takes work and time and devotion to learn the alphabet backwards. You have to trick your brain into thinking in a way that is counter to what society teaches. Sometimes, you realize that all of that sweat and toil didn’t do anyone any good. You studied and you memorized but you didn’t actually DO anything with this knowledge.

The phrase I kept being reminded of again and again as I reflected on this weekend’s message was: Go Be Love.

That’s it.
Go.
Be Love.
Go out there in the world and be love for the needy. For the weak. For the brokenhearted.
Beth referred to “Fruit Tasters” of faith with the term, “They.” “They” need to see tangible expressions of Christ’s love through His followers. “They” need to see us prove it; prove that our lives have been changed through the Holy Spirit.
Tangible expressions of love.

These ideas come to mind…

: Bring dinner to an elderly neighbor.  
: Have coffee with a friend going through a difficult time. Then, be present and listen.
: Send a copy of your favorite book to a friend in need of encouragement.
: Create a “Blessing Bag” full of diapers or tea or cookies or groceries for a neighbor or a friend with a new baby.
: Send a loved one an unexpected card in the mail. Everyone loves finding a handwritten note of love amidst all the bills and junk mail in their mailbox.
: Create a clothing closet at a local school available to any child in need of socks or a warm coat.
: Sponsor a child through Compassion International or World Vision or HelpOneNow. Send your sponsored child a handwritten note often.
Dear friends, there are so many ways to GO and BE LOVE in your community and across the globe. I would love to hear from you with other ideas. I am challenging myself to do something each week that is a tangible expression of Christ’s love.
I am going to create a sign that says “Go Be Love” to hang on my bathroom mirror as a reminder each morning of this beautiful challenge.  
Will you join me in this challenge?  We can make a difference in our world.

Pieces of Life’s Puzzle

This afternoon, I started taking out the CD cases stuck in my car door to see what I actually had stuffed into that compartment and I found the little journal that I used to keep in my purse. I had started the journal on July 7, 2009 and used it to record my thoughts during our journey to have children.  I had completely forgotten about this little purple notebook and was so surprised to find it there behind expired coupons and empty CD cases.

I didn’t mention this earlier on this blog, but we had originally started the process of adoption in 2009 after (unsuccessfully) trying to conceive biological children. It was a long, frustrating journey and the story is pretty complicated so I just didn’t want to get into all of that on here.

But, I wanted to give you that little background because I had to share an entry from this journal. I was in tears sitting in my car reading this today. I opened the journal to this page and think it is incredible to truly see God’s hand at work in the life of our family.

Reading this entry was equivalent to receiving another tiny piece to add to the giant puzzle of my life. I always imagine that we will all have these beautiful, completed puzzles that tell the whole story of our life on earth once we arrive in Heaven. Until then, we just get little pieces along the way and are too close to see the bigger, completed image.

I transcribed the entry word for word below, so please forgive me for grammatical errors and for it being a little long.

November 9, 2009

We are going to try IVF. 

Out of the blue, a few weeks ago, Natalie from Parkhill called to tell me that Sarah from the Little Rock Infertility Clinic would be in town for meetings and Dr. H had given her our file to review. She told us that, based on our history, we had a 50% chance of conceiving a baby and that my new insurance covers IVF completely.

Dave was thrilled and felt like this was our answered prayer. 

I was left more confused than ever.

I don’t understand why we’ve learned about the millions of orphans in the world and gone through all that we have just to come back to making a baby through science. It all feels hypocritical and selfish to me.

As I’ve been praying and trying to understand God’s will in all of this, these things have happened:

– I turned on the TV and decided to watch a TIVO’d episode of “Adoption Stories” – the episode was about a couple that chose not to do IVF and instead adopted from Russia.

– I received our first copy of “Adoptive Families” magazine. 

– At that point, I thought “God just sent me a sign” and then I looked up as I was leaving the house to go back to work and found a packet from an adoption agency at our door that I hadn’t seen earlier. The agency’s name is “All God’s Children International.” *

– In that packet, was the book, “The Strength of Mercy” by Jan Beazley. This book has captivated me – it is the story of a woman and her family following God’s will and finding themselves adopting an orphan from Romania and starting the agency, AGCI. It’s amazing because it is exactly what I needed to hear – He is in charge. 

I cannot time or orchestrate this plan. I know He planted this seed of longing in my heart to help a child (or many!) in the world and I have been searching frantically trying to find the child (through Rainbowkids.com and other waiting children lists) on my own terms and my own timeline but I don’t know God’s plan. 

I just have this one piece of the puzzle, I’m too close to see the bigger picture. The completed puzzle. 

But I do know that He will tear down all walls and government barriers that separate us from our child when the time is right. I trust in Him and can find comfort in the peace that only He can provide. 

I just opened Jan Beazley’s book to find passages that were especially encouraging and this is what I opened to, “…the Holy Spirit pursued our hearts. Even in our weakest hour of doubt, when our confidence grew dim, He lovingly breathed on the smouldering embers of our faith and we once again caught hold of the Father’s hand…we knew God was testing our willingness to trust Him, no matter the outcome.” 

Also, Jan had a difficult time convincing her husband at first that they should adopt. I have not been in that boat until now. 

Now, Dave wants to try again for a biological child. I think that may be God’s plan – why else would He have reopened this door? 

But, selfishly, I am dreading the medicines, doctor’s visits, hospitals, dissapointment, fear, heartache, pain. I just don’t know how I will go through it all again. Even as I write this, I am reminded that our merciful Lord wil hold my hand and keep me strong throughout it all. 

He will be by my side.  

Jan stated in her book, “God faithfully reminded me that He is in charge, that my husband’s heart is His department and not mine.” 

I thought that was profound. I have been trying to convince Dave that this doesn’t feel right but it doesn’t matter. His heart is set on trying and I think if we don’t try we will always wonder, “what if?” 

God is in charge of our path and He will place a call on both of our hearts when the time is right. **

 *At the time I wrote this, we were already in process with another agency and this was a completely unexpected packet from AGCI. This is the agency we are now working with! Can you see God’s hand at work?

**We did both receive a call on our hearts this past October. It was incredibly clear.

I am so thankful for the journey we have been on to get to this place. We were able to conceive our precious, precious boys through the miracle of IVF. And, we are now obediently following the path that God destined for our family before the beginning of time. I just didn’t understand it all when we first started on this journey three years ago.

*For the first time EVER, we had family photos taken last weekend by the talented Amie Hansen!! I’ll share more soon!

Blessings to you all!

True Love is This…

I feel like my life has been moving past me at 100 miles an hour this past week and I just can’t seem to keep up with everything. It seems like I am going to drop all of the balls that I’m so carefully juggling all the time. Honestly, this week has left me feeling overwhelmed and defeated. (And cranky and irritable and short-tempered).

I have been looking forward to today all week because I have the day off (with a completely clear calendar until the evening  — which NEVER happens). I had planned to get caught up with snuggles and laughter with the boys. And, the never-ending “to do” list of laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, adoption paperwork, bills…

I had also planned to blog about our adventures last weekend in Florida and yesterday’s Easter egg hunt with sweet little friends. I really want to keep up to date with photos and happenings in our lives because I am using this as my journal for our family and I don’t want to forget all of the fun things we have been up to.

I will put that blog post off until another day because, this morning, God gently reminded me what the purpose of today is.

Today: Good Friday.

Today is the day we remember that Christ suffered through torture and humiliation. Then, He gave his beautiful, perfect, and holy life for you and I.

Sweet friends, do you have as hard a time wrapping your lil’ human mind around that as I do?

I can hardly grasp how Jesus could give Himself up for all of us. Why did it have to happen like that? Why did He sacrifice everything and become a defeated, broken body for us?

I have always wondered how God managed to hold himself back from opening the Heavens and lifting his sweet Jesus from that cross in order to remove him from the unbearable pain and heartache he was enduring on behalf of all of us earthly sinners. We are NOT worthy of that sacrifice.

But that is the point of it all, isn’t it? We are not worthy. We are LOVED.

Have you all read the book, “The Shack” by WM. Paul Young? (If not, I recommend it!)

Do you remember the section of the book when Mack was told to choose which two of his five children would spend eternity in “God’s new heavens and new earth” and which of his children would “spend eternity in hell”?

Do you remember what the judge told Mack as he started to panic at this thought?

She said, “I am only asking you to do something that you believe God does. He knows every person ever conceived, and he knows them so much deeper and clearer than you will ever know your own children. He loves each one according to his knowledge of the being of that son or daughter. You believe he will condemn most to an eternity of torment, away from His presence and apart from His love.”

After a little more discussion and panic about choosing among his own children, Mack finally screamed, “I can’t. I can’t. I won’t!”

Finally, he looked at the judge “pleading with his eyes” and said, “Could I go instead? If you need someone to torture for eternity, I’ll go in their place…” He then fell at her feet and cried and begged to go in place of his children.

She responded in a whisper, “Now you sound like Jesus.”

Reading this section of the book opened my eyes a little further to the depth of Jesus’ love for me. For each of us. 

If someone were to ask me to choose an eternity in hell for either of my boys, I would not hesitate for a second; I would instantly beg and plead to take their place. To cover their transgressions with my love. I would do anything to protect them.

And, I am just a human with human flaws and human limitations. These are my children. They can mess up, they can make me angry, they can turn from me. But they will NEVER lose my love.

I look at these faces and I am filled with joy. Filled to the brim with overflowing love.

And, isn’t it incredible to know that God feels that way about us? But in a MUCH bigger way. In a way that we will probably never be able to comprehend while living in this flesh.

Blessings to you all on this beautiful day!

7 Years as Mrs. Marrs

Monday was our 7-year wedding anniversary.

Seven Years. Seven blissful, crazy, beautiful years.

I truly cannot believe 7 years have passed since that perfect celebration at the Mission Inn Resort surrounded by our closest family and friends.

So, what did we do to celebrate this anniversary? In the past, we would have flown to a beach in Mexico or spend a couple of relaxing weeks exploring my favorite place on earth: Italy.

This year? Not so much. We had a quiet evening together after a long day at work.

Not exactly paradise by most standards but it is our own little version of paradise (minus the work part).

I have to say, staying home as a family was no less wonderful than going off to explore a new destination.
**Okay, let’s be honest, it was a little less wonderful than sipping wine in the Tuscan countryside…it would have been perfect if we were in Italy with the boys, but I digress…

We celebrated by letting the boys have chocolate ice cream bars while we got ready to go out to dinner…

How happy is Nathan right now?!

We celebrated by lighting the Unity Candle from our wedding day and letting the boys take turns blowing it out…

They LOVED this super fun game.

And, we celebrated with a blissfully quiet dinner out together…

And then, we finished the evening the way we do every single year…by watching our wedding video and reminiscing on that perfect day and the incredible ride we’ve been on together as husband and wife.

Here’s a little clip of our video, I just LOVE this video…

Spring Fever

I really love spring.

I love the reminder of God’s goodness as we emerge from the dreariness of the winter months and awaken to birds singing and flowers blooming.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

I couldn’t wait any longer to start working out in the yard and planting flowers. I do this every year. We get a week or so of warm weather and I go crazy planting. Then, we get a hard freeze and I have to start all over. I don’t care. I want some beauty and color in my yard and I want it now.

I truly love this yearly ritual. When we gather all of our empty pots and fill them with beautiful flowers and color and transform our backyard space.

This is our first spring in the new house and I decided this past weekend that a backyard makeover was our big project. We have basically ignored the space behind the house since we moved in. We had concentrated on getting settled in inside the house for the first 9 months. Now that the weather is warming up, we are moving our domestic-ness outdoors. (Yes, I made that word up).

As you know, I am still working on my Lent commitment to spend less. Just so you fully understand what we’re dealing with here, I’ll give you the full story:

I had completely given up on our awesome outdoor sofa that Dave had built a couple years ago and had decided we were going to have to buy new outdoor furniture. I was planning to move the old stuff to the front curb with a “Free” sign attached. The cushions had been neglected since the boys were born…I just didn’t have the time to deal with cleaning, vacuuming and moving them in during the winter. They had basically become a nice cushiony spot for Max to rest and soak in the sun during the day.

*Remember Max is our black lab. He has a lot of fur. Black fur + white cushions = gross. 

But, my newfound frugal-ness (again, made up word) beat out my need for shiny, new things. I decided to roll up my sleeves and clean the cushions. It took me two days to get the couch back into shape but now it looks as good as new!

I am now a HUGE fan of the pressure washer. I eventually got a little carried away with it and pressure washed all the rocks in the yard. Really? That is just ridiculous.

I am so thrilled with our makeover project that I had to share some photos…unfortunately, I didn’t take any “before” shots. Just trust me, it was a huge mess.

It’s now cozy and infused with magical blooms of color and life. (I’m going to continue to add new plants and trees…we aren’t completely finished but this is a good start):

Some of my favorite pots. I love the look of clay pots, they remind me of Italy. Yes, I like to sit in my backyard in NW Arkansas and pretend I’m actually in Tuscany. I worry about myself sometimes.
Our bounty, ready to plant!
Now here’s a surprise, Nathan LOVED helping me scoop dirt into the pots.
Did you pick up on my sarcasm? 
He really was a great little helper and we had so much fun planting the flowers together!
Ben helped for a brief stint. He preferred helping Daddy stain the fence but couldn’t resist the appeal of digging in some dirt. 
We used these old barrels in the wine cellar at our old house but decided to move them outdoors here. I love the way they look with potted flowers on top. 
I experienced my first sanding project with an electric sander. I had fun sanding off the old layers from our picnic table to reveal fresh, new wood.
It still needs a coat of stain and then it will look as good as new again.
We’ve had this table for five years. Dave built it and we have used it in three houses now (yes, we’ve lived in three houses in the past five years – this is the life of a builder’s wife).
I have so many happy memories of meals shared with loved ones at this table. 
Dave built this outdoor table by using an old door we bought at an antique shop. Again, we’ve had it for a long time and it needs a fresh coat of stain but I love the aged look of the door. 
I had a hard time getting a photo of the outdoor sofa that didn’t include at least one dog or kiddo. I think that pretty much sums of my life. Absolutely chaotic and wonderful. Nathan was eating spaghetti prior to this photo – can you tell? 
The pressure washer is AMAZING. I used a vinegar and water solution and the pressure washer and that’s it! I can’t believe how well it worked.
Flowers just make me happy…
Cleaning up in the sprinkler! This was hysterical. They crack me up.
After all the hard work, these boys were HUNGRY. Spaghetti time!

Don’t hate me. Dave built this little table for the boys in, oh, about 10 minutes. He is a freak of nature.
Again, it needs to be stained and I am going to find a little umbrella for the center. Cuteness overload!
Nathan wouldn’t put his shoes on and thought it was hilarious to run barefoot in the rocks. 
He has tough feet.
All Boy: Dirty shirt, Spaghetti beard, ball.
All add up to big smiles.
After all the fun, it was time for baths. Nathan is our little nudist and decided to strip down in the front yard. I apologize to the neighbors. We are those people. 
I HAD to share these images. Nana Marrs’ stopped by and was snuggling with nudey (yes, another made up word) and I snapped a quick shot. I looked back in my files and found the image below on the left. It seems like this is a trend. 
Look at how much that little booty has grown! 
Naked Nathan with Nana…at 3 Months old & 21 Months Old!

Florida Weekend Recap

I want to start by saying THANK YOU to everyone for the amazing support and encouragement we have received this past week. We received so many emails, phone calls, posts and texts congratulating us and encouraging us as we embark on this adoption journey. We can’t tell you how much it means to have support and prayers backing us up on this road. We are immensely grateful!

Now, I have to say that this post is a little overdue. It’s taken me longer than I had planned to post these photos from our weekend in Florida.

Our lives have taken on a new rhythm this week because of the time change and gorgeous weather…
: We now spend our evenings chasing after the boys outside.
: Or, we water the garden (little green onions are sprouting up!).
: Or, we sip champagne on our front porch with our neighbors (one of which is our sister in law – that story requires a whole different post..but we LOVE having her next door). Yes, we sat out on the front porch the other day and drank champagne while the boys loaded weeds into their mini dump trucks. It was all kinds of wonderful. We decided it was a celebratory toast to spring!
: Or, we grill dinner outside and eat at the outdoor table. Which is my all-time FAVORITE.

Needless to say, we are spending our late afternoons and evenings soaking up the warm weather and enjoying the beauty of spring in our little corner of the world. The flowers are in bloom and the birds are singing. And, I just can’t seem to tear myself away from my porch swing to drag out my laptop and type this post.

But I want to document our trip because it was so much fun and I don’t want to forget these details!!

As “they” say (no idea who “they” are but I like what they have to say here…), “a picture is worth a thousand words.” So, I think I will share our trip through photos even though they are all a little blurry because I forgot to bring the charger for my camera battery and had to use my phone.

Do you think he is enjoying the BIG bathtub all to himself??
Talking to Aunt Angie on the phone 🙂
We wonder why Bella is so chunky…Ben LOVES feeding her treats. 
A few dozen per day isn’t bad for her, is it?!
I can hardly stand the cuteness! Ben and his little cousin, Bradley just hanging out in the pool.

I decided to make my “famous” Ziti recipe for the fam. It was a HIT.
Ben is either laughing at the idea of me in the kitchen cooking (very possible) or he just gave Bella food. That cracks him up every time.
We thought a walk was in order after the billion calories we consumed at dinner.
Look who made some new friends while visiting Aunt Lori’s class…
He couldn’t get enough of the “big” kids!
Playing soccer at Nana’s during Charlene’s Baby Shower…how grown up does he look?!
A popular trend for Ben during our trip…eating with Papa.
Ben and Bradley with Nana, Great- Nana, and Aunt Lori
Riding the lawn mower with Papa. Ben was cracking up and Papa looks completely freaked out!
Meanwhile, back home, look who’s king of the castle!
Daddy and Nathan had a fun guy’s weekend. This is the photo I got on Saturday. 🙂
It’s GREAT to be home! 
Nathan looked like he grew so much while I was gone. Especially in this fancy outfit 🙂

And, lastly, remember my complaints about our borrowed stroller? I decided to outsmart that stroller and leave it at my parents until they can drive it back this summer. Instead, I borrowed one from them for the flight home (one that had functioning wheels… details, details). As luck would have it, the airline never loaded it onto the plane after I left it on the jet bridge and it never made it back here with us. Yes, I lost the new borrowed stroller! Turns out, this ‘borrowing a stroller’ thing was a disaster. I should have just had Ben walk the whole time.

Next up for the Marrs’ clan…we head to surgery tomorrow morning at 6:30 with Nathan for his tubes. Please keep him in your prayers tonight!! I’m a little nervous about the procedure but I am especially not looking forward to waking him up super early and not being able to give him anything to eat or drink. He is going to be CRANKY!

146 Million Minus 1

Over the past few months, I have had a sense of unrest in my life. I have been feeling abundantly blessed and incredibly selfish. Wondering if I am using my gifts and resources the way I should. I have been praying specifically for God to open my eyes to what He sees and to have clarity around where and how He wants me to serve.
My eyes have been opened. Wide.
Opened to the 146 MILLION orphans in the world. Opened to child trafficking. Opened to prison-like institutions in the country of Uganda where small children are locked away with little supervision, food or water. Opened to hidden hospitals in Ethiopia where women go to have Fistula operations after they are shamed and outcast by their families due to injuries suffered during childbirth.
I cannot close my eyes or my heart to the pain in the world felt by the least of these. This is the stuff that I used to read about or see in a film and think, “how sad and tragic…” Maybe I would send a check or say a quick prayer but it wouldn’t take long for me to forget about this suffering and get back to my life.
It didn’t affect me. I could live in my bubble of safety and security and abundance and ignore the pain that innocent women and children were experiencing around the world. It was too daunting, too overwhelming and too paralyzing otherwise.
146 Million Orphans.
146 MILLION.
What could I possibly do to make a difference? This problem is so big. Too big for me.
And, that, my sweet friends, is the problem. I kept asking what I could do. That question led me nowhere. Once I started asking how God could use me to do His work, I realized that He is so much bigger than the statistics. Bigger than the need that seems unending.
He can move mountains. He can use ordinary people like me to do His work.
The most incredible thing about this change of my heart is that God was working on Dave’s heart at the same time. Our kind, loving, gentle Father was stirring in the heart of my husband independently of my own stirring. I hadn’t spoken to Dave about the call I felt because I was still sorting it all out. It was between me and my Father.  It felt too sacred to discuss just yet.
Then, one day Dave casually mentioned his feeling that we were supposed to do something. Something that would require a step of faith. He felt called to Africa; Ethiopia in particular.
Our God is so incredibly loving and perfect in His timing!!
I was feeling the exact same call. At the exact same time.
God knew Dave and I needed to be at the same place spiritually in order to unite us together for this journey. We would need one another for support and encouragement and prayer. We are so much stronger together.
So, if you are still with me at this point (sorry, I know this is a long post!), you are likely wondering what we are going to do.
We are THRILLED to announce that we are going to adopt a little girl (or possibly siblings…God is really asking us to step out in faith here) from the beautiful country of Ethiopia!!



Why Adoption?

Our Father first adopted us into His kingdom through this beautiful, grace-filled, thing called adoption. He set the example. We are to follow that example. It’s as simple as that.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27
Simple Truths:
We are called to care for the orphans of this world.
We are simply called to love. To love God and to love others.
And, we believe that our lives are meant to glorify God and to build His kingdom.
Why Ethiopia?
We feel particularly called to this country. That is the only reason that matters. God asks us to care for all of the orphans of the world. We are not meant to be limited to boundaries or nationalities. Dave and I have also been particularly affected by the statistics and fate of orphans in Ethiopia due to poverty and disease.
So, we are in the midst of the paperwork stage of this journey. 
Now let me say that the statement “paperwork stage” sounds fairly simple and straightforward.
It is anything but simple. It is HARD.
There have been many days when I have sat and cried and been so overwhelmed that I didn’t know where to start. I often take out our checklist and read it over and over and still wonder what I need to do. As soon as we get one document completed and I’m ready to check that off the list, I realize that there is an error with incorrect dates or signatures or wording and we have to redo the entire thing.
I spend hours on our agency’s listserv (a site where other families in various stages of the process share thoughts, suggestions, and really just unite together to support one another), or reading blogs from other adoptive families.
And, friends, I am asking for your prayers.
I know that Satan and evil are real. Spiritual warfare is real. I am witnessing it.
The enemy is at work to prevent the beautiful, redemptive work of adoption. He is causing confusion, pain and doubt. He is lengthening the process of bringing these precious children home to a loving family through lies, fear and government red tape. He isn’t just using the Ethiopian government; he is at work within our own US embassy in Ethiopia. So many families adopting through our agency are in a fight for their children. Their cases are being held up for further investigation and review. Referrals are slower than ever but the problem of starvation, disease and drought have not gone away.
Dave and I are so excited and so incredibly afraid to walk this path. However, we walk confidently knowing that God is asking us to do this and He will never leave us. We also know that He will not leave our future daughter as she experiences devastating loss and grief.
I can hardly type this without crying. I pray constantly for our future daughter and her birth family. I do not know her story yet but I know that in the midst of the beauty of adoption, we often forget that it is rooted in loss. Loss of our daughter’s birth family, her birth country and its culture.
And, oh how my heart is heavy when I think of the loss our daughter’s birth mother will experience. A mother’s heart. I can’t even think of the words to describe the grief and sorrow she will know.
Again, I am reminded of our Father’s love. His redemptive love will be at work in all of this. He will NOT leave us alone.
I heard Mandisa’s song, “Stronger,” this morning and was thankful to be reminded me of this truth, “if He started this work in your life, He will be faithful to complete it.”  
I am so thankful for that promise and invite you to walk this journey with us. We have a long road ahead and I will keep everyone updated on this blog.
As it stands now, after we submit our dossier to Ethiopia (we’re waiting on our final home study and taxes…hoping to get final dossier submitted by mid-May), referral wait times are estimated to be between 18-24 months. After we receive our referral, we will travel approximately 2-3 months later to go to Ethiopian court and to meet our daughter! Assuming all goes well at the court level, we will be submitted to the US Embassy. It has been taking 2-3 months to get the Embassy appointment. At that point, we will travel again to bring her HOME.

We will have to return home without our daughter while we wait on an Embassy appointment. I am dreading that day more than I can articulate. I do not know how I will get on a plane without our daughter. I will be depending wholly and completely on God to carry me.

See what I mean about the LONG road ahead? But we know it will all be SO worth it!

Rainy Day Fun

Ben and I flew back from Florida very early this morning! Our flight left at 7:30 am from Sanford, which is an hour away from my parents house. Lucky us, we also lost an hour this morning with the time change. So we were up at 4am (the “Spring Forward” time was 5am) and we also lost an extra hour of sleep when Ben woke up and decided he wanted to snuggle with me in bed rather than sleep in his crib around 2 am.

Anyone that knows me knows I’m not fun to be around without sleep. So, I am not going to share photos and a recap from our trip today. I’m just too tired. I did want to share a few photos from our afternoon splash session in the puddles outside. The boys LOVED this and it did a great job wearing them out! They took a warm bath and a had a long nap afterward…which was WONDERFUL!! And that meant Dave and I were able to relax, while cozying up in front of the fireplace with a couple of good books listening to the sound of the rain. It was so relaxing…a wonderful Sunday spent back home.

As you can see, the boys were SO incredibly excited to see each other. They’ve been so adorable all day playing together and hugging and laughing. They both seemed to love the one on one time but they definitely missed their best friend! I couldn’t get enough snuggle time today with BOTH of my boys! It was so much fun to all be together again.

My sweet boys…

Enjoying a snack while watching the rain fall…before deciding they wanted to be IN the rain.
They both had a blast. Water, mud, and sticks. A perfect combination 

They are ALL boy.

Simplicity

Simplify. Organize. De-Clutter.

Awww… just reading these words makes me feel more peaceful and still.

There are few things that raise my blood pressure or make my heart race more than clutter and disorganization. I know that sounds completely insane but it’s the truth. I am 100% Type A and I cannot, absolutely cannot, stand messiness.

Hmmm. I have two 20 month old boys.

My *insane* need to be organized + Ben & Nathan’s need to destroy everything in sight = A Stressed Out Mama.

I have tried to relax since having the boys when it comes to dirty dishes and piles of laundry. I have even made peace with my arch nemesis – piles of paper/clutter/mail on the counter.

I have learned that during this particular season of my life messes and piles of toys and stacks of dishes are just part of the deal. I’m slowly coming to terms with this.

But, I refuse to just let this place turn into a complete pigs-tie. With that in mind, I recently decided it was time to do a major overhaul of the storage pantry (we have a smaller pantry for everyday use items. The Builder is a “buy in bulk” kind of man, hence, the hundreds of pounds of beans, so we need this pantry for all of his bulk purchases). This is one place where the boys are not allowed. We keep the door closed and I’ve decided it will be my personal sanctuary of order and organization.

It recently became very messy and unorganized (I won’t name any names here but I blame it completely on the other adult living in this house….) so I decided to spend the morning cleaning it up. It was a very productive morning and I felt a sense of relief after I finished. I know, I am a crazy person. But I take what I can get. If spending an hour organizing the pantry provides me with this much joy and satisfaction, I’m accepting my craziness and embracing the little things.

I do love before/after photos, so here they are!

I got rid of all of the bags of flour and sugar and put these canisters to use. Much cleaner looking and easier to see what we actually have. And, I got to break out my label maker. Oh, happy day!
I grouped all of our quick dips and mixes for entertaining all in one place for an easy go-to solution for last minute entertaining (crackers, pita chips, and pretzels are behind this so it is all in one place.

My favorite thing about our pantry is that is hidden away behind unassuming cabinet doors…

And, it’s like a secret little room…love that.

It feels like spring around here so I see other spring cleaning projects in store in the coming weeks! Hurray!! The little things, people. The little things.

This and That

We have all been under the weather again this past week or so and I haven’t had a chance to post pictures from our weekend with Nana & Papa, our Snow Day and Valentine’s day! So, bare with me, this is just a random post of our recent days and it’s going to be fairly long.

First of all, my parents came to visit last weekend. It is always so wonderful having my mom and dad in town. The boys LOVE all the attention and we are all in “vacation” mode while they’re here. We really never do very much, especially during these quick weekend trips. We eat. We laugh. We do laundry. We eat some more. And, that pretty much sums it up!

Nana & Papa arrive!

Truthfully, my parents come in and save the day around here every time they visit. I feel like a pretend adult most of the time (okay – 99.9% of the time – really, who thought it was a good idea to put ME in charge of other human beings??) … thankfully, my parents come every couple of months to help me keep things together around here.

: The laundry gets washed, folded, organized and put away.

: The apples that I purchased to make homemade applesauce (I have good intentions, it’s just the execution that gets me) or cut into slices for the boys’ snacks (much more my speed) get used in a MUCH more productive way (Dad’s homemade apple pie is a slice of heaven. No joke).

: Our half finished projects get finished. Some of them, at least. That broken picture frame? Fixed. The photos stuck on my broken camera since Christmas? Downloaded onto my computer. The videos from the old video camera that included the boys’ birth? Downloaded and cherished!

: Bath time and bedtime become a chance for Dave and I to sit, breathe and relax. Nana & Papa soak up those cuddly snuggles and bedtime stories. And, Nana even gets to perform the army crawl escape out of the boys’ room.

As for the events of the weekend, we stayed inside for the most part because it was so cold. And, the boys were sick. And, really, we were just in lazy mode. It was perfect.

Nap time with Papa
We did make a trip to Crystal Bridges Museum of Art. I was too busy working to keep the boys from touching the paintings that I didn’t take any photos. Here is a quick shot of my mom and Nathan enjoying the view from the museum:

And, my cool boys wearing mama’s sunglasses on the way home:

It was so nice having them here and we were extremely sad to see them leave Sunday morning. Particularly because Saturday night was spent managing two sick kiddos all night. Nathan kept waking up after 15 minutes of sleep and would scream uncontrollably and eventually vomit. Dave, my mom and I took turns holding and trying to comfort him throughout the night. And, Ben woke up with a fever around 2 am and woudn’t get back to sleep either. We were all exhausted Sunday morning.

When Nathan got sick again on the way home from dropping mom & dad off at the airport, I called his doctor to find out what she suggested we do. She advised us to get to the ER as soon as possible. It seems his ear infection was worse (spread to both ears now) and he had a stomach flu. Poor, poor baby!!

Notice the photo on the left was taken in the hospital…doesn’t he look chipper?! After we arrived, he seemed to feel better. Of course. Isn’t that always how it happens?

On another note, as luck would have it, we finally got some snow here this winter the morning after my parents left! Dave and I did the obligatory 30 minute prep of bundling the boys’ up to go outside for approximately 15 minutes of play. It was really cold and they were both still not feeling well. But, we had to enjoy the snow!

Watching snow come down!
Ben wasn’t a big fan of the snow this time around.

Sledding in the driveway!

They look so adorable in those snow suits!

And, lastly, Valentine’s Day was pretty low key at our house. I am not a fan of spending money on candy or gifts for Valentine’s Day…I prefer the gift of time together. But I did get the boys a little basket of goodies. And when I say goodies, I do not mean candy or toys. I mean a spatula, tongs and a duster. What?! I know, this is crazy, but they love to “cook” in their kitchen and help me clean around the house.

Obviously, they take after their mother. I am a natural born homemaker. Ha! Can you sense my sarcasm?

I laughed when I bought this stuff at Hobby Lobby but it was actually a big hit. Who knew $5 could be so well spent…they have new “toys” and I get help with the dusting.

Playing with the new duster 🙂

The card the boys made Dave & I (with help from Samantha)

Our V-day “Picnic” out front…the weather was so nice that we had to enjoy it!

How funny are these outfits? They were in their PJ’s, so we just threw a jacket and hat on too…

I lied, that wasn’t the last thing I had to post… here are a couple of cute pics of Nathan and his Aunt Katie reading and laying together on the floor. Nathan brought her a pillow and told her to lay down (by pointing at the floor and saying something in his secret language). It was too cute!

He looks so grown up here, like they are having an actual conversation!

We ended up back at the Doctor’s office yesterday wtih Ben. He has a sinus infection… poor little man!!

Coloring while we wait to see Dr. H

All of the medicines and remedies the boys are taking right now. We are so ready for all of these sick germs to be gone from our house!!!

And, lastly (I’m serious this time), I had to share this funny video from last night. The boys were playing chase (well, Ben was chasing Nathan because he had taken his pacifier and thought it was funny, so the term “playing” isn’t entirely accurate) and I tried to get it on video to share with my mom. I cracked up at the end of this when Nathan makes a ornery face and then knocks the camera out of my hand! He is obviously feeling better and is back to his spunky self :-)!

Our Four-Legged Babies

A close friend lost her sweet pup this past week and it got me thinking about how short the lives of our four legged family members are. Our own pups are getting older and the thought of losing one of them makes my heart ache. I can’t imagine how different our world will be without our loving, doting pups in it. So, I thought I would share a little about each of our four-legged babies so we can always have this memory of who they are and how special and precious they are to us.

Bailey:

Bailey is our nine year old Sheltie. He is such an old man…he always gives me these “looks” when I try to get him to do something. He basically looks at me like he thinks I’m a crazy person.

He doesn’t like to go on walks. If we start walking, he will stop and sit and refuse to budge. If I let him, he will walk back home and sit in the front yard until we get back. He has done that for years.

In contrast of his laziness when it comes to walks, he is a sheep dog at heart and loves to chase and corral people. He also loves to play fetch and tug of war with a stick or one of his “babies”. He also loves the snow and will run in the snow and act like a puppy again.

Dave calls Bailey a lemon. I call him “special.” He is allergic to fescue grass, oak trees, dust mites and all types of food except fish and potato dog food (and fruits – he loves bananas the most). He also has a thryroid imbalance and took medicine for years. He hasn’t had his medicine in about two years now and he is doing great. I hated to always give him that medicine.

Bailey was my first dog that I got as an adult on my own. I got him in December of 2002 when I was living in Tampa and he moved with me to Nashville and then to NW Arkansas. He has always been my buddy and I love him so much. He is my Bailey Bear!!

Max:

Max is our 8 year old Lab/Beagle mix. We got him from the Rogers Animal Shelter in February of 2004 right after we moved to NWA. Dave wanted a “manly, hunting dog” to compliment high-maintenance Bailey. We picked the black lab puppy with the most energy and biggest paws to take home. Only after we got him home did our vet tell us that he was probably mixed with a Beagle. So he still looks like a lab puppy 8 years later. He’s short and stalky and just adorable. He is perfect.

He loves to chase animals and go exploring in the woods. We truly think he has 9 lives…he jumped out of Dave’s moving truck when he was on anesthesia after being neutered, was bitten by a poisonous snake, was hit by a car and lost in the woods for hours shortly after the boys were born, his tail was ran over and had to be amputated and somehow split his ear in half recently. He is one tough pup!

Max is our “Marley” from the book/movie “Marley & Me.” He is lovable and innocent but he is full of energy and used to tear anything and everything up when he was a puppy.

Being a rescue dog, he has always been afraid of new people, but once he warms up to someone, he will kiss them incessantly and protect them for life.

He loves Ben & Nathan so much. When they were babies, he would stand guard outside their door and cry if they cried and pace if they didn’t calm down right away. Now, he licks them and just wants to be close to them all the time. He knocks them over all the time because he just gets so excited when he sees them.

Chiquita:

Chiquita is our little princess. We think she’s also 8 years old and we think she is a Chihuahua and Fox Terrier mix. I found her 6 years ago in February when I was headed back to my office after a meeting. I was on a back road (with nothing around) and saw her running down the middle of the road. I pulled over and called to her. She ran right over, dropped the bird she had in her mouth, and jumped in my car onto my lap. At the time, I was shocked. But now that I know her, that is very fitting. She loves to have something in her mouth all the time (she has killed squirrels & birds but usually sticks to a stuffed toy) and she will jump into anyone’s lap within a five mile radius of her. She doesn’t discriminate. She loves people and loves affection.

She hates cold weather and prefers to stay under a blanket in front of the fireplace all winter. She loves to snuggle with anyone laying on the sofa and is a great afternoon nap partner.

She is a diva and hates to walk on cold or wet grass but, in complete contrast, she will run and explore with Max all day in the woods. And she isn’t afraid of anything. She has been known to fight possums, squirrels, and skunks.

She tolerates the boys and will roll over onto her back when they come near. I think she’s playing dead and hoping they’ll just forget about her and leave her alone. Typically, they pull her tail or ears or try to pick her up. She just stays perfectly still and lets them play with her. She is very tolerant.

Thanks for letting me share with you a little about our furry babies…I don’t ever want to forget the details of their personalities or how much we love them!

Dave and the pups running in the snow last year after a big storm

Tomorrow, the boys turn 20 months old…I cannot believe how fast they are growing! I will post a 20 month update for them soon!