fearless. part 1. - Blessings and Raindrops

Dave and I spent our Saturday in Tulsa in a room full of other adoptive parents learning and growing and worshipping the One who called us to this place, asking us to step out in faith to bring a precious child into our family through the blessing of adoption.

It was a truly awesome day. We both learned so much and came home refreshed and energized.

LOVED seeing my sweet friend, Kara!

We know that God meant it when He asked us to care for the orphaned and oppressed. To seek justice. To be close to the brokenhearted. As Jen Hatmaker said, “when He told us to feed the hungry. He meant feed the hungry. Feed them food.”

Yet, the truth is that the need is immense. It is overwhelming, actually. The suffering is too much. The brokenness, the hurt…it is staggering. Orphan care is complicated and messy. There are no easy, clear-cut answers here.

That is why we felt so at home in a room with people that have the same passion for these children as we do. The understanding and compassion in the room was palpable.

And, I met my best friend that doesn’t know me, Jen Hatmaker. {I considered telling her that we have to be friends because we’re both just so funny and we like all of the same things…aaannnnd Dave advised against it. Instead I went with, “it’s so nice to meet you”}. She was AWESOME. Really. I’m not just saying that. Her words were powerful.

My real life friend, Chandra, and I with our newest BFF, Jen.

Something that Jen said early on in the day really resonated with me. “A call to adopt is also a call to suffer with the orphan.” She explained that in adoption we will find unbelievable beauty, redemption, mercy, healing, and grace. Yet, we will also “get a front row seat to some serious suffering.” We will enter into the broken places with our beautiful adopted children, and we have to be willing to stay there on the road to healing.

You see, “we cannot be in adoption to adopt. We have to be in it to parent.”

All of the speakers spoke to some of the heart issues of parenting. The lessons were universal. Regardless of whether you are parenting adopted or biological children.

Dr. Barbara Sorrels {who actually knows Karen Purvis… anyone in the adoption world is impressed along with me} spoke about the four core fears of {all} children.

She covered the fear of abandonment and challenged us to seek to communicate with the fruit of the spirit everyday. To communicate safety to our children through our tone of voice and our facial expressions. She shared that humiliation is the most toxic thing to the human soul. Toxic. I had never even considered such a thought.

She discussed the fear of annihilation and the need for rich sensory and emotional environments for our children. The need to be present and not be preoccupied. She challenged us that the growing minds of our children do not need technology until the age of 7. Y’all. I love me a little ‘Mickey Mouse Clubhouse’ zone-out break every now and then. These two busy toddlers can run circles around me and I just. need. a. break. sometimes. This is convicting. Dr. Sorrels discussed the changes she has seen across US classrooms in the past eight years. She fully believes {and I agree} that we are parenting through technology over engagement too often. Guilty as charged. We are working on this one all the time over at our house. I’m working to turn off my screens and be present during these precious days home with the boys while they’re still so young {oh, yes, don’t worry, the boys are napping right now}.

She discussed the fear of being viewed as a bad child. This is powerful: “At the core of every child is the desire for someone to believe in their goodness.” Period.

She discussed the fear of losing love. Our children from hard places have already lost so much in their short lives. This fear is real and powerful. We have to pray for wisdom on how to parent our children. We have to cover them in love and show them that they are safe and that we are not going any where.

Jen ended the day covering the topic of rest. This message was like a soft melody to my soul. I have been depleted and running on empty without even knowing it. I will share more on this topic in a separate post because this is already long enough and I think the message is crucial to all moms everywhere.

I’ll leave you with this nugget of wisdom from Jen H:

“Spiritual nourishment is perishable. It is good only for that day.”

Spend time in the word. Spend time in prayer. Seek Jesus’ face. Each and every day.

Really good stuff. 🙂

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