“Go with the strength you have…”

It’s been quiet here on this little corner of the internet as I’ve kept up with photos and life stuff on Instagram (so that I can easily print off photo books) and have ignored this space. Our summer was a whirlwind and it felt impossible to find the time to sit down in front of a computer screen and type out a coherent thought. We filmed a lot over the summer and then had a wonderfully long break, during which Dave and I crammed road trips and summer experiences into every minute. We didn’t ease our way into the school year, instead, we just squeezed every last drop out of summer break and ran hard to the finish line.

Now, we’re finding new routines and settling in to the new school year. Summer was such a blur, it’s hard to believe almost three months passed in between the days of car lines and spelling words and reading logs.

As we approach the final round of filming for the year, I’m taking a deep breath and am excited to start these final two projects. We start filming again on Sunday and we’ll work through the first week of October filming the final two episodes for our season. Originally, we had planned to film 8 episodes – which had us finishing up in mid-July. Then, the network added on two more episodes for the season which extended our filming time but was super exciting news.

Okay. I have to be honest with you guys. At the risk of sounding like a whiny, ungrateful, you-know-what, I wasn’t thrilled when I first found out about the extension. We were in the middle of filming three episodes (which means completing three remodels simultaneously in a very short window of time) and I was ready for a break and couldn’t see the forest for the trees (is that the right saying? I’m not sure, but you get the idea). I was exhausted and burnt out from the looonnng days (and from being away from my kids in the middle of their summer. I kept thinking “we only get 18 summers and I’m missing this one!” <- I know, I know. I was being dramatic but I was running on little sleep and I tend toward dramatics especially when I’m tired) that the news of two more episodes literally brought me to tears. So, we talked it through with our awesome production team (truly, we love them so) and came up with a plan that included a whole month off starting in mid-July until now. It was exactly what Dave and I (and our kids) needed. Now, we are rested and refreshed and creative juices are flowing freely again. Because, let me tell you, exhaustion stifles creativity. Which, again, is why I’ve been silent on this space. All of my creative resources were depleted. I wasn’t picking up my camera or writing or reading or doing any of the things that get the right side of my brain pumping.

I had a nice long chat with Abba about all of this and the whole why-did-you-choose-us-for-this thing and He led me to the book of Judges of all places.

“Go with the strength you have…” {Judges 6:14}

I’ve talked about it before – I love the story of Gideon. Thank you, Jesus, for including all of these flawed humans in your Word. Because, if Gideon can tell God that he isn’t fit for the task in which an angel of the Lord told him about face-to-face (I mean, come on! How can you say “no” straight to the face of the Lord?!), then I certainly can bring my own “Lord, you chose the wrong person” prayers to Him.

I will be with you. 

I love you. 

Shine my light. 

“Go with the strength you have…” {Judges 6:14}

That’s it. That’s all He’s asking of any of us, isn’t it? Just go forth and do the thing He’s asking you to do. Shine His light into the dark world. Even in your exhaustion. Because, always, He’ll use your weakness to display His power.

Now, I fully realize my life is currently ridiculous. I’m still waiting for the prank to be unveiled and told this whole filming a television show for HGTV thing is not actually happening. But, it is. And, God’s strength is sufficient even in this silliness. And, most assuredly, His strength was sufficient when I was rocking a newborn and chasing a petrified, traumatized toddler around the house (and several parking lots- she was known to dart into traffic) or when I was up all night with newborn twins while Dave recovered from Lyme disease or when I was holding starving children in a seemingly forgotten orphanage in the Congo. It is always enough. In every season, no matter how wild or unexpected or seemingly mundane, His grace and strength and relentless love is always, always right there.

As I write this, I’m praying for whomever is reading. May you rest in the full assurance of God’s love today. No need to wring yourself out trying to understand His plan for your life. Just remember He is with you and for you and He will equip you for whatever calling He has for you. Shine His light and His love into the darkness with tenacity and bravery. Don’t shrink back from what He’s asking of you. No matter how overwhelming or possibly underwhelming (wiping little bottoms and runny noses may feel underwhelming today, but, it’s NOT. It’s Kingdom-building stuff, my friend), just step into the next thing with confidence. He is right there beside you.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends.