Fear can easily become a stronghold. In my life, the enemy fights dirty. When a glimmer of opportunity presents itself, he pounces with fear.
Specifically in this adoption process, I have so many fears that nag and tug over and over again. Within this blog journal alone, I counted forty-nine posts designated to the topic of fear. My very first post on this blog was rooted in stepping out in faith to overcome a personal fear.
{Warning: here’s where I’m about to freak some of y’all out, and, seriously, I get it. I’m freaked out by spiritual warfare. I believe in it, but I’ve never witnessed it so powerfully as I have during this adoption journey}.
The other night, I was woken in the night by an intense, petrifying, gripping sense of fear. My chest was tight and I couldn’t catch my breath. It literally felt like someone was pushing down on me or sitting on my chest.
After talking with a respected pastor last night in our small group {that’s a whole God story in and of itself…we recently jumped on board with a new church plant in our community and it has been an answered prayer and immense blessing); I confirmed what I suspected to be true: I had an encounter with evil.
The air was dripping with darkness and I immediately started praying and reading the Word until peace was restored and I was able to go back to sleep. I am shaking typing these words because the experience was terrifying and so very real.
Here’s the thing; I know that we are not fighting against flesh and blood here, but against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms {Ephesians 6:12}. I know that we are working to bring light and love to a beloved child of God who has been left alone in a place that the enemy thought was his dominion. I know all of these things, but I can’t truthfully say that I’m not a little shocked by it all. I have led a pretty safe, un-risky life up until this point. I have never before been in a position where I have had to rebuke satan’s grip.
Yet, here I am. Feeling a teensy bit crazy but also trusting wholeheartedly in the solid truth of My Savior. I can recognize what is happening and I can stand firm. I am protected by His shield of love. I am safe.
Ugh, the enemy just flat out sucks! Stay strong and cling tight to The Holy One! Praying for you:)
I totally know what you mean. I've heard it said over and over that adoption is spritual warfare and I believe it's absolutely true! We are also experiencing that very same thing. Keep prayed up! We know Who is going to win this battle!!
I definitely struggle with fear. I've been trying to surround myself with prayer, journaling and the bible to simply push past that. Its funny, I had a dream this past week too. It was a crazy one, that basically had an ocean overtaking me so I couldn't breath. Isn't it funny how even in our sleep there is a struggle?!