Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

in the wait.

As we wait here, in our forty-fourth month on this journey to our daughter {based on the date we originally started this adoption journey in October of 2011}, I am weary. So very weary. I ache to hold her again and I pray in desperation for God to protect her heart as she continues to wait.

I often question why. The thing is, this journey was never about us. It has always been about this precious little girl. I can handle this. It’s not fun, it’s exhausting, and I’m sick and tired of it BUT I can manage. It’s this innocent child who has been caught in the middle of this messy process that needs protection and strength. She is the one who can’t understand what is happening and I cannot understand why she has to be in this situation to begin with.

Yes, I know. We live in a fallen, broken world. But, the reality is, that knowledge doesn’t make this waiting even an ounce less painful.

As I prayed this morning through my tears, pleading with the One who has carried me through this waiting, I asked for encouragement. I begged Him to show me that He has not forgotten our family.

I felt led to read through a journal from a recent women’s retreat and I stumbled upon my own words. Words that buoyed my spirit and allowed me to turn my gaze back to Him.

“I don’t understand any of this but I can trust Him. He is always faithful and He is the author and perfecter of my faith. He writes the story and it isn’t over yet. He is asking me to wait in Hope. He is asking me to keep running toward Him and simply doing the work set before me.“

And, the words to a song we sang in worship were written on that same page. Words that I sang as a prayer to my daughter…

Next, I found myself reading a very familiar scripture.

“He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” {Isaiah 40: 29-13; NLT}

Thankful for the reminder, I asked again for strength. I asked that He allow me to persevere because I am so weary and exhausted.

That’s when I noticed them. The verses just before this familiar promise. The ancient words that came to life as they spoke to my questioning heart…

“O Israel, {Insert: O Jenny!} how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? Don’t you know that the Lord is an everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depth of his understanding.” {Isaiah 40: 27-28; NLT}

Wow. What an incredible message of Truth for my weary soul today. 

Encouraged and uplifted, I will continue to wait in hopeful anticipation of what is to come. I continue to be grateful for the community of loved ones near and far who join Dave and I on our knees asking the Everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth, the One who sees us in our distress, for the miracle that will finally bring our daughter home. And, we are already praising Him for what comes next. Knowing that He always works every situation for our good and His glory.

Comments

    • jenny.marrs@yahoo.com says

      Thank you, friend. Your road has been so long, as well. I'm thankful for friendships that can lift us up when we are walking in the valley. Praying for your family, as well!!!

  3. The Reimers says

    I recently stumbled upon your blog. Isaiah 40 was given to me a few months ago from a dear friend and has been a source of encouragement. My husband and I are in our 26th month of working on our adoption. We are weary and broken as we wait, knowing that the waiting is even harder for our son. As each week passes with no update, we grow more dependent on God's strength to hold us up and protect our son. Thank you for sharing these verses today as a reminder once again that though I am weary, HE is never weary.

    • jenny.marrs@yahoo.com says

      God is so good to give us encouragement just when we need it. How awesome that He led you to these verses here after He used them to encourage me in my own weariness. I'm so sorry you also continue to wait. I'll add your family and your son to my prayer list. Please keep me posted on your journey!!!