Max.

This weekend was really, really hard. And, it was really, really incredible too. I’m a little overwhelmed by the sorrow and the celebration and how they were so muddled together this weekend.

God was faithful in mighty ways this weekend. I will tell you all about it soon.

Today, I want to share about the sorrow we carried so heavily these past couple of days. We found out early Saturday morning that our best pal, our pup Max, passed away at the Vet’s office {where he was being observed because he wasn’t feeling well}. I think that one of my biggest regrets will now be that we didn’t push back and insist that he come home. The reality that he wasn’t home for his last few days on earth {we brought him in on Thursday thinking he would stay for the day but they wanted him to stay for observation each day and thought he would be able to come home on Saturday afternoon because he was improving each day} is so hard to swallow.

headed to the vet clinic late monday night…

He would have been 10 on November 25th. He had aged and slowed down recently but he was still so full of life and his passing was sudden and unexpected. Dave and I have grieved hard. We have had shed so many tears and have felt like our world was rocked. To be honest, we were both surprised by how heartbroken and grief-stricken we were. Some would say “he was just a dog” but I am telling you that he was so, so much more than that. He was a part of this family and we loved and cherished him.

In February of 2004, Dave and I spotted Max among a litter of little squeaky lab/beagle pups at the animal shelter. He was spunky and had huge paws. We could see right away that he had personality.

I could go on and on about how Max has impacted our lives. I have so many memories that include him…he brought so much joy to our family. He was the first to console me when I was upset. He was the first to jump and cry for joy when we came walked through the door {whether we had been gone for five minutes or five hours}. He loved us fiercely. He loved the boys fiercely and felt it was his duty to protect them. Bedtime has been really hard not having him lay at our feet during stories and snuggle in between the boys’ beds when they lay down for the night.

His presence in our home is missed so much. I don’t have the words today to share more because I’m just tired. I’m sad and still reeling from his loss.

At the little burial we had for our sweet boy, I thanked God for showing us a little more of his heart through Max. He gave us a way to see selflessness, unwavering love and devotion and joy in action.

This afternoon, the boys wanted to read “Clifford, the Big Red Dog” again and they always like we when change Clifford’s name to “Max.” During the story, Ben stopped me and said, “Mommy, Max isn’t here anymore. He is in Heaven with Grandma.”

Oh, sweet boy. My eyes welled up again with the tears that seem unending. I believe he is right. God promises that Heaven will be a perfect place and I couldn’t imagine it without our Max welcoming us with his wagging tail and unending kisses.