Blessings and Raindrops

My hands are trembling as they hover above my computer’s keyboard. The words won’t come. There simply are no words to describe the emotions I’m feeling today. The fact that I am typing this post is an absolute miracle orchestrated by a Mighty, Faithful, Merciful, Powerful and so very GOOD God.

Our daughter, SYLVIE {I can finally type her name!!!}, is COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!

God has carried us through every single moment over the past 602 days since we said “yes” to our precious daughter. Every, single one. The mountain top moments, the dark steps through the valley, the tears of joy and the gripping tears of despair… He has been right there.

He has whispered His promises over me, He has carried me when I was too worn and weary to lift my eyes, He has covered me and protected me. He has provided for my every need: every single dime spent on our adoption has come from His hand, He has surrounded us with a faith community of prayer warriors who have battled beside us for our daughter, He physically removed our girl from a place of darkness into a home filled with His love and His light. He moved me to get on a plane last August and visit our sweet one even when we thought the trip seemed untimely… now, looking back, I can see His hand and His beautiful timing.

I have clung to a truth on this journey: my God never authors pain. I believe this with every fiber of my being. It is the nature of who He is. For this reason, I will not ever say that the long journey was His perfect timing. I don’t believe He wanted her away from my aching arms and heart for 602 long days. I will never believe that, no matter what theology is used to argue this point.

What I do believe is this: He will turn everything {everything!} for our good and His glory. He will use a dark, hard, intense spiritual battle keeping our family separated over two continents and He will transform the tears of sorrow into tears of complete and utter joy. He will give grace in abundance, He will move hearts to give in order to care for His precious children, He will use this war that satan meant for destruction and turn it into a love song for His beloved. He will do it in a way that causes us to shout His praises. As my dear friend, Rory, said today: “We have SEEN victory with our own eyes! Let us never forget that.”

The fact that she is coming home is a miracle. An absolute miracle.

The fact that I wrote these words just four days before we heard the incredible news that my Sylvie-girl will be IN MY ARMS again, is a love song from my Abba Father.

The fact that we sang this song for the first time ever during worship on this past Sunday morning, is a reminder that He is in every detail.

The fact that He gave us this verse as His promise for this journey, makes me fall to my knees in awe.

Y’all, she isn’t just coming home at some point in the near future. She will be home TOMORROW. She is getting on a plane as I type these words. Her foster momma was given permission to fly her home. If that doesn’t shout God’s goodness, I don’t know what does. Her foster mom will stay with us for several days to help with the transition and immediate medical appointments. I am blown away by His ability to accomplish more than I ever thought possible.

The battle is not over yet. Hundreds of children and families still await this incredible day. I will continue to plead on their behalf and I ask that you continue to, as well. She is leaving behind many, many friends that need to be reunited with their mamas and daddies and brothers and sisters. I am praying that this is the beginning of the mountains crumbling into the sea!!!!

I cannot possibly express my deep, deep gratitude to every single prayer warrior reading these words. So many of you have prayed for our Sylvie alongside us. Your words of encouragement here on this blog, your cards in the mail, your texts, your emails, your flowers, your surprise dinners, your necklaces, your photos, your voicemails… you have carried us with each word and prayer and outpouring of love. I am forever grateful and would love to hug each and every one of you the next time our paths cross, whichever side of eternity that may be.

Oh, and, I promise to post a ridiculous amount of photos and videos. Don’t worry one second about that. 🙂

In the meantime, you can finally watch the video I made from our trip last summer… enjoy the overload of adorableness!!!!!

I woke up this morning and did the same thing I’ve done every day for as long as I can remember, I checked my email looking for word from the Embassy or from our daughter’s foster mom in Congo. I always check my phone to see if any important news has come through from the other side of the globe while I slept {to be fair, sleep is a relative term since Charlotte was up off and on most of the night}.

This isn’t healthy. Believe me, I know. I know I shouldn’t check my phone before I even say a thank you to my Creator for this new day.  But, the thing is, when your child is waiting for you on another continent, you cannot stop praying for news and hoping against hope for positive updates. Since email is the source of those updates, I check over and over again all day long.

This morning, there was once again no news. Instead, a question came across from another waiting mama friend- she asked for advice on how I was able to cope and stay sane during this wait.

That simple question did it. It broke me.

I suddenly realized I wasn’t staying sane. I wasn’t keeping it together… instead, what I was doing was letting go of hope. Over the past week or so, I’ve let go of believing that the latest news could actually mean our daughter will come home sometime soon.

You see, about three weeks ago, we received some really good news and I was so hopeful, so sure, that this was finally it that I started planning logistics for her homecoming. And, then, nothing. No news. No updates. Just waiting… in silence.

So, I started giving up. I stopped praying as often and as boldly. I stopped believing that God could do this and that this could really be the time.

I didn’t realize I had traveled down this road slowly inching my way toward despair until that question was asked this morning. I answered her honestly, I told her that I was starting to give up and let go of hope and that was the only way I could make it through the day. That was the only way I could walk into her room and not crumble. The only way I could manage to look at her clothes hanging in the closet or her bag packed or her photos on the wall without hitting something. Or wailing. Or weeping.

After letting all of this out, I realized I should go ahead and have a talk with Him. God knows my heart. He knows. So, I just stopped evading Him and finally admitted what I was doing. I asked forgiveness and asked Him to sustain me once again.

I then pulled out my prayer journal.

I read through the pages and cried out to Him. Why? Why, God? Why have you answered almost all of these requests {literally, it is astounding to see what He has done with the requests on those pages- not all answered in the way I thought they would be, but answered in a more incredible way than I had ever prayed for} but my daughter still waits???? Why are you ignoring this one? This is important, God. YOU asked us to walk this road. You brought her into our lives and our hearts. Why would You turn away now?

You can probably guess how my little rant ended. A gentle stirring in my heart.

Read the words again.  All of these prayers — miraculous healings, babies coming home, healthy babies born, provision, safety — answered. 


I stopped then and responded in gratitude. Praising Him for the bounty of goodness that I have witnessed.

Then, these verses were before me…

And, then, as I opened my computer to type this post, my email contained a new post from a dear friend. Sarah wrote these words about how to keep walking forward when the road gets bumpy that ministered to my aching heart this morning.

The last words of her post could not have been more perfect. Tears fell as I read…