Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

written dreams and grace.

Call it nesting. Simplifying. Living in the moment. Being present.

For me, in this season, I’m longing for time to slow to a gentler pace.

I find myself marveling as I watch the boys run and play and have conversations with one another. Amazed at how much they have grown. Suddenly, they are these little people with independent thoughts and personalities. They can make their own snacks and fill their own water glasses. They can get up in the night, use the restroom, flush, and go back to bed {I giggle every time I hear their feet pitter patter to the bathroom in the night, why is that? Motherhood never ceases to surprise me}. They can pull their own covers up over their toes. They can walk down the stairs, climb into our warm bed and snuggle between Dave and I in the early morning hours. I can feel their warmth and innocence and I ache to bottle it up forever.

I know the next season is coming. It’s right there, just out of our grasp. These two will be big brothers. Our family dynamic will forever shift. Life will move forward. New adventures and memories wait to be created. We are on the cusp of new and change.

As much as I want to freeze time right now, I also want to jump into the new. The unknown.

I know that the new will not be without hard moments but I remain confident that we will be met in that place with grace. The joy will overshadow the pain. It always does. Joy always triumphs.

Beth said it so well at Created for Care; what my soul aches for is the unforced rhythm of grace.

Slow mornings are savored. Quiet moments to dream and pray and listen. All the while, full of the knowledge that these moments are fleeting. {Newborns have a way of stealing the quiet mornings and slow starts…replacing them with feedings and diaper changes. And more. So much more. Filling the quiet with love, tenderness, and miraculous wonder}. 

I recently started a new family journal for the year. I have already declared 2014 to be the year of hope. I need to record it all. The dreams, the gratitude, the sweet memories.

I need these markers of His faithfulness. Markers that I can read through in the hard. Markers that my children can read when they are grown. Proof that the God we serve is only good and His plans are always worth waiting for.

Because, even though this season is so very sweet, we are so very weary. Weary of the wait for our S. I need these markers. I need to record them and look upon them as we wait. As we step into the new. As we welcome our precious Charlotte and continue to wait for all four of our babies to be under one roof. I need tangible reminders of laughter and joy and written dreams and prayers coming to fruition.

“I am freed to know that my God is huge and my God is able and that if I don’t get what I asked, if I’ll cooperate, I’ll get something bigger.” -Beth Moore

**Isn’t this journal the absolute cutest thing? You can create your own at www.tinyprints.com. I plan to make a new one each year to keep as a special keepsake for our family. You could also make one for each child and write letters to each child in their notebook. I decided to write to all four kiddos in one place…because I’m all about simplifying right now. :)**

in daddy’s arms {part 2}

Life is busy lately. But, it has also slowed. It’s a strange juxtaposition. I don’t quite know how to explain where we are right now. Slow and fast all at once. The move has thrown our schedules out of sync. We don’t have internet or TV at the farmhouse, so we are spending more time reading, talking, listening. We go on long walks when Dave gets home from work. We laugh. The boys color and I paint end tables. A new season has ushered in, a season of simplifying. Heart-changing. Re-focusing. Rest. Grace.

Meanwhile, I long to write down memories. Record moments. I have this desire to continually document where we are and what we are learning… things change so quickly, I don’t want to forget a single, sweet moment.

Before too much time passes, I want to document more of Dave’s recent trip to Congo. The precious time spent with our daughter was a gift. It feels like a dream now. Did he really go? It’s hard to believe that just a couple of weeks ago, she was in his arms.

Friday, February 21st 


Before heading to the airport, we had breakfast together at Dave’s favorite – Dunkin’ Donuts.

This picture cracks me up. I’m not sure what Nate is up to and Ben’s expression is hilarious. I think the sugar is kicking in…
What? You mean, you don’t see Spiderman at DD too? Strange. 

Prayers were answered with our new friend, Joyce, working that day and able to check Dave and all of his luggage through to Kinshasa.

We were given the gift of two extra hours together in the airport. Dave’s flight to Chicago was delayed and we were able to spend the time laughing, praying, running through the terminals and eating lunch together. Dave still made his connection to Brussels and we were all so grateful for the unexpected extra time with one another.

Saturday, February 22nd






Dave landed in Kinshasa and was able to get through customs and retrieve all of his luggage in less than an hour! This was a huge answered prayer and in stark contrast to our experience last time. After a reunion with Laure, Dave was able to call me and it was SO wonderful to hear his voice. I had been tracking his flights on my flight tracker app and we had exchanged a few text messages but it had been a very long couple of days.

Dave’s words from his journal…

“I finally landed in Kinshasa after a calm and normal flight and entered the craziness of Africa. There is no order in the lines and getting your luggage feels like a rat race. But it is an organized chaos. Everyone moves when you need your bag. It was great to get out in the parking lot to see Laure and even better to talk with Jenny and the boys. 

We drove through the congested streets piled with trash, broken down cars and poverty to the likes of something I couldn’t even imagine before our first trip here. I couldn’t help but feel totally overwhelmed. Then, we arrived at Laure’s home. It truly is an oasis in the desert. The kids are smiling and happy, well fed and full of life. 

Finally, I was able to hold our S. Jenny, how I wish you were here. I have never been more sure of anything – she is our daughter and she is absolutely perfect.”


Sunday, February 23rd
“I woke up this morning staring at a sleeping S. It was so peaceful and nice… We all played for a while and then we were off to church. 


Piled in the van, on the way to church! 


We arrived a little before 9 am and the little kids, including S, headed off to Sunday School. We sit, sing a few songs and I am thinking this is just going to be a service I can’t understand in French. But, it wasn’t like anything I’ve ever experienced before. Everyone gets into the service- shouting for joy, praying out loud while pacing back and forth, shaking homemade tambourines and whistles – all during the service as they feel led. After the offering (you walk up in front of the crowd and place your money in the offering plate, no passing the plate!), Laure leaves to go up in front and sing. I’m not a little concerned because I don’t know if I’m supposed to stand, sit, sing, wave my hands, what?! 


Luckily, I was paying attention because I understood the word “American” when the preacher said it and everyone turned to me and smiled and laughed. I waved and then the service continued for the next three and a half hours…

Turns out, they were studying Ephesians 2 and the sermon was about putting your trust in God completely and He will always be with you and never fail you. The preacher used me as an example…how our family has put our trust in God and He led us to our daughter. Even though it seems impossible, and there are so many obstacles in our way, God will make a way and will never fail us. 

I guess what I learned from all of this is a new way to worship. Many of the people in this service have nothing, but at the same time, they are so spiritually rich. Each uses their God-given talents {drums, whistles, singing, prayer} to give all they have to our Lord. They worship Him with a fever. You can see it in their faces and hear it in their voices.

…Later that night, we were able to FaceTime… it was so wonderful to see your face and hear your voice. And, to see your face when you talked to S – just amazing! I just wish the boys could have seen her {they were napping}. She is getting such a personality. You would just love her. She’s a feisty one. She really likes me when I’m cleaning her face and hands.”

Monday, February 24th

“I woke up today to the kids singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Laure. It was a crazy, chaotic morning getting 12 kids ready and 6 of them out the door for school. After the older kids left, I was able to just relax with the younger foster children. I also got to feed S eggs and she loved them. She smiled at me and ate. That girl is after my heart and she owns it.”

Dave also visited the orphanage on Monday… there is so much to share about his time there and the work that has been done with Feed Their Tummies. I will share another post on all of the exciting things God has been doing with this program soon. 

Tuesday, February 25th


Sleeping on the cool tile floor.  



After a long day visiting with officials at the U.S. Embassy and friends staying in Kinshasa, they arrive home to find all of the kids outside because the power is out again and it is pitch dark inside the house. 

“I’m bitter, thinking to myself: another day without nearly as much time as I wanted with S. But, she is sleeping so I get to hold her without a protest. What happened next showed me how much God is in the lives of this family. They started praising God with blackness all around. Laure and the girls and young boys were singing, her brothers were praying out loud and I was holding my precious daughter, saying a silent prayer of gratitude.


…During this adoption process I seem to have failed miserably in singing my praises to the Lord, I seem to only focus on asking Him: why, why, why? Blaming Him for not changing hearts or moving mountains. 


I need to remember that He is a Father just like me. He loves me, with all of my faults, just as I am. Just as I love Ben, Nathan, and S. He wants to celebrate my successes with me and share in my grief when I am suffering. 


I went to bed that night with S sleeping next to me. I sat and watched her in the dark and thanked God for these few precious moments a father gets to spend with his daughter. 


My last thoughts before going to bed were mixed. I felt great sorrow that I most likely would not be bringing my daughter home. I also felt very thankful and blessed that I would get to spend my 35th birthday with my beautiful daughter in a loving home, halfway across the world.”


Wednesday, February 26th

“The kids woke me early with a Congolese rendition of ‘Happy Birthday.’ It was so thoughtful. I also received four gifts that I will treasure always – a Congolese shirt from Laure, two Congolese bracelets from Sylvia, sandals and a bag from Meme and a homemade hot pads from Grace. These gifts will always be very precious to me. 

I then did something I should have done on day one: I opened a package of balloons. S laughed and smiled at me for over an hour as we played with an entire package of balloons. I thought my lungs were going to explode as I probably blew up and deflated balloons a couple hundred times. But, I wasn’t stopping. I had a break-through with my daughter and she even looked at me and called me ‘Papa.’ BEST Birthday Present I have ever gotten!!!!!! Man, I love that little girl. 

We played together while we cooked lunch and she was exhausted so I started packing up and getting ready to go. That’s when she started to shut down again. I think she knew I was leaving and didn’t want to give me any more of herself. I felt absolutely awful. It felt like a cruel joke – I was able to love on her and play with her for five precious days and, now, I had to return home without her. 


I loaded up my bags and kissed her from her daddy and mommy. I told her how very much we loved her and that we would be back just as soon as we could to take her home. I hope and pray that part of her understood why I had to leave. 

The emotions started at the airport…at first, it was mostly defeat and anger. What kind of father goes to visit his child and comes home without her? I felt like a complete failure. It was such a relief to talk on the phone with Jenny and the boys. After talking with them, I realized that this trip was a blessed one and I truly believe it has paved the way for great things to come.”

One of many photos of laughter and encouragement we sent to daddy from home. 

I saw God before me all the time. Nothing can shake me, He’s right by my side. I’m glad from the inside out, ecstatic. I’ve pitched my tent in the land of hope. {Acts 2:25 MSG}

praying for Congo.

From what we have been told, there is a big meeting taking place today in Kinshasa. I, along with hundreds of others, have been praying fervently since we heard this news on Friday. There is no way to know what will come of this meeting but we are praying boldly for the outcome to bring families and children a step closer toward joyous homecomings.

As I sat quietly before the Lord this morning, asking once again for a miracle, I was led to my prayer journal. These verses. Reminders of His goodness, His faithfulness, His Truth even in this unrelenting storm.


He is near. 
He is still on the throne. 
I will wait in expectant hope for the miracle on the horizon. 

Lamentations 3: 23-24
Great is his faithfulness, his mercies begin afresh each day. 
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance, therefore, I will hope in Him!
1 Peter 5:7 AMP
…casting the whole of your care (all of your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all) on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. 
Ephesians 3:20 AMP
Now to him, who by the power that is at work within us, is able to (carry out His purpose and) do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes or dreams].
Isaiah 30:18 AMP
And therefore the Lord (earnestly) waits [expecting, looking and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who (earnestly) wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him (for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless companionship)!
Psalm 130:5
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.
Revelation 3:8
I see what you’ve done. Now see what I’ve done. I’ve opened a door before you that no one can slam shut. You don’t have much strength, I know that; you used what you had to keep my word. You didn’t deny me when times were rough. 
2 Chronicles 14:11
Then Asa called to the Lord his God and said, “Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, Lord our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come agains this vast army. Lord, you are our God; do not let mere mortals prevail against you.”
Hebrews 11:1
What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. 
It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. 
Beth Moore, Believing God
“Our toughest battles will invariably concern matters of faith — times when we’re tempted to think God’s word and His ways won’t work for us, that HE has abandoned us, let us down, or failed to come through for us.”
Psalm 77:14
You are the God of miracles and wonders!
You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations. 

Will you join me today in praying these words of truth over the vulnerable and orphaned children in Congo? Praying for God’s arms to cover these precious ones in mercy and love. Praying for families waiting and aching to bring their beloved ones home. Praying for a mighty movement that will bring goodness and shine God’s glory.

baby charlotte {an update}

29 weeks.

Today, I am officially 29 weeks pregnant with lil’ Charlotte!

This may not seem like much of a milestone, yet it is a big one. During my pregnancy with the boys, I was air-lifted to Little Rock due to active and quickly progressing labor on the exact day I reached 29 weeks.

So, here I am. Feet up, typing this post, feeling Charli kicking inside and feeling grateful. I had my last appointment with my high-risk doc yesterday and, although he still believes she will try to come early, all is well for now. She is growing and healthy and all of her parts are forming perfectly. I love ultrasounds… a sneak peek at this little person inside. She was hiding her face yesterday but we were able to confirm that she is head down, has all four chambers of her heart, has great blood flow to her heart and cord, spinal cord looks perfect, and fluid levels are holding strong. She weighs 2 lbs 14 ounces {clearly a mistake, she has to weigh at least 15 lbs by now… why else is that number on the scale continuing to rise?!?!}. My cervical length is shorter than average {being a natural over-achiever, this fact annoys me…who wants a short cervix? bummer} but it hasn’t shortened over the course of the last month and that is a good sign.

We also confirmed that she loves her sleep, just like momma. A girl after my own heart. 🙂 She kept kicking the ultrasound wand-thingy {official medical terminology} because we were disturbing her beauty rest. Clearly, she has a little spunk.

Earlier this week, I had my glucose screening {and may have passed out when they tried four times to draw blood}, received my rhogam injection and I continue to get weekly doses of progesterone shot into my booty. The things we do for our kiddos… I’ll hold all of this over her head until she graduates college.

Although this particular season of life is what I have affectionately termed “INSANE!!!,” I am trying to rest as much as possible. We are now in full moving mode which is super fun when you’re seven months pregnant. We haven’t moved the “big” stuff but have driven over dozens of car loads of boxes to the farmhouse to get somewhat settled before we take the full plunge. It is never-ending. I feel like we have moved and/or donated sooooo much, yet, we still have a house full. How is that possible?!!

Anyhoo… we have piles of baby clothes, blankets, and toys that need to be organized and put away. Currently, they are loaded into closets and the doors remain closed. My parents are headed up in a couple of weeks and I have already warned my mom that she is going to be put to work when she arrives. Nesting is kicking in and this move is throwing it all off kilter.

While in Florida last week, my family and friends surprised me with a baby shower for Charlotte. I was completely surprised and incredibly annoyed that no one told me to take a shower or put on a normal outfit. Ridiculous. 🙂 Yet, it was such a sweet evening celebrating this little miracle girl.

You guys. This. This was my reaction. I actually rolled my eyes. Am I thirteen?!?! Hahahahaha. Despite the red eye’d pic, I had to share this one because it.cracks.me.up. Clearly, my outward expressions of gratitude are overflowing here…
And, here I am telling my mom that I didn’t paint my toenails and am wearing flip flops. It’s winter, for Pete’s sake. Who paints their toenails in the winter?? The flip flops threw me off. 

Honestly, my heart was very heavy that day. Dave was in Congo at the time visiting our S and reports back were not positive. She was sick and Dave was getting nowhere trying to find any information on what we could do to get her home for treatment. It was a stay-in-bed-and-cry kind of day.

So, the surprise shower took me completely off-guard. It was a tangible reminder of the way joy can seep in right alongside sorrow. Although my heart ached to be celebrating the upcoming arrival of both of our beloved daughters, it was a beautiful evening honoring this little life God is intricately weaving and preparing for the world.

My friend, Brandy, couldn’t make it in for the shower, so she sent a photo instead.
Of the two of us in fourth grade. Nice. Reason #15,000,222 why we are friends. 

We played “The Price is Right” and I had every, single price wrong. Clearly, I’m not used to buying baby things. 

Here, you can see Debbie and April laughing at my belly. Or, at the gigantic spot on my “dress” {it’s my bathing suit cover-up, people! I wore a bathing suit cover-up to my baby shower}! I didn’t realize there was a huge spot there until looking through these photos. Awesome. 
Have I told y’all that my younger sister is preggo too?! She is 3 weeks and 15 lbs behind me. She is also having a little girl so my mom is over the moon. For some reason, everyone wanted us to put our bellies together for pictures all week. My belly wins. Go Charlotte!!
{And, yes, there are more spots on my “dress”… I think it’s the lighting…}
I’m reprimanding April and Debbie is laughing… what is happening here?!? 
Oh. My. WORD. My crazy-talented friend {and college roomie}, made this gorgeous gown for Charlotte! Now, she has a “going home from the hospital” outfit to wear!!! 
I took a Facebook poll and was overwhelming convinced that the Rock n’ Play will change my life. I’m holding you all to this.  
Sweet book from Nana. Yes, yes, He does. 🙂
Elise also made a gorgeous blanket for S and monogrammed hair bows {who knew?!} for both girls. LOVE these gifts soooo much. 

What a night! Thank you all for “showering” {hehe! see what I did there?!} Charlotte and I in so much love {and adorableness… baby girl clothes are seriously, ridiculously cute}!!!!!! I love you all!!!!

*And, a big thank you to Aunt Kelly for the photos! 🙂