Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

florida or bust.

We are anxiously awaiting documents from our agency. If the dates we were told match up with the awaited documents, we are officially “S”‘s legal parents. There is a really good possibility that, as of this past Monday, the 24th, S is officially a Marrs!!!! We are cautiously excited and hopeful that this is true, yet, we want to see the documents before we start celebrating.

Instead of sitting around going stir-crazy while waiting for this life-changing news, we decided to jump in the car and take a little road trip.

17 hours behind the wheel, a stop over in Columbus, GA to sleep overnight, and many {many} snacks and DVD’s later….

We made it to my parent’s house in Central Florida!! The boys and their cousins went straight to the pool…

Had a few more snacks with their cousin…

Oh, and this happened. {And, yes, my dad was the brains behind this idea}…

And, we finally got everyone off to bed and are ready to collapse ourselves. But, first, the Big Brother season premiere {!} before Dave gets back in the car to head south for a fishing tournament with some friends {we’re going to miss him here this weekend!}.

I am SO ready for a week of fun, family and relaxation. We do have BIG news coming up and I cannot wait to share here. Stay tuned. 🙂 Good night, friends!

how we roll…

A little glimpse into how we roll around here…

love this little reminder as you enter beth’s house! 

Branches in the driveway? Not a problem. These two will rig up a trailer on the big wheel. Thirty minutes later, that little pile will be on the other side of the driveway. You’re welcome, mom.

Bucket list this summer? Let’s start by checking off blueberry picking. And, if Ben has anything to do with it, the number of blueberries in our bucket will be slightly less than half of the amount in his tummy.

Find some old bibs in the drawer? Let’s make a cape/bib/fireman costume… it works.

Wouldn’t it be fun to learn a little french while we wait for S to come home? Let’s do this as a family. Sounds simple enough. My friend Beth offered to tutor the boys and I on Thursdays.

Okay, that’s a great idea in theory. In reality, the boys had fun playing with their sweet friends, reading and swinging. We left with a cheat sheet and can say, “Bonjour.” Still have a little work to do in this area.

I just love the sweetness of summer!!!!

if you fear Him, you need fear nothing else.

Fear can easily become a stronghold. In my life, the enemy fights dirty. When a glimmer of opportunity presents itself, he pounces with fear.

Specifically in this adoption process, I have so many fears that nag and tug over and over again. Within this blog journal alone, I counted forty-nine posts designated to the topic of fear. My very first post on this blog was rooted in stepping out in faith to overcome a personal fear.

{Warning: here’s where I’m about to freak some of y’all out, and, seriously, I get it. I’m freaked out by spiritual warfare. I believe in it, but I’ve never witnessed it so powerfully as I have during this adoption journey}.

The other night, I was woken in the night by an intense, petrifying, gripping sense of fear. My chest was tight and I couldn’t catch my breath. It literally felt like someone was pushing down on me or sitting on my chest.

After talking with a respected pastor last night in our small group {that’s a whole God story in and of itself…we recently jumped on board with a new church plant in our community and it has been an answered prayer and immense blessing); I confirmed what I suspected to be true: I had an encounter with evil.

The air was dripping with darkness and I immediately started praying and reading the Word until peace was restored and I was able to go back to sleep. I am shaking typing these words because the experience was terrifying and so very real.

Here’s the thing; I know that we are not fighting against flesh and blood here, but against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms {Ephesians 6:12}. I know that we are working to bring light and love to a beloved child of God who has been left alone in a place that the enemy thought was his dominion. I know all of these things, but I can’t truthfully say that I’m not a little shocked by it all. I have led a pretty safe, un-risky life up until this point. I have never before been in a position where I have had to rebuke satan’s grip.

Yet, here I am. Feeling a teensy bit crazy but also trusting wholeheartedly in the solid truth of My Savior. I can recognize what is happening and I can stand firm. I am protected by His shield of love. I am safe.

I am with you continually, so don’t be intimidated by fear. Though it stalks you, it cannot harm you, as long as you cling to My hand. Keep your eyes on Me, enjoying Peace in My Presence. {Jesus Calling}

The Lord said to me in the strongest terms: “Do not think like everyone else does. Do not be afraid that some plan conceived behind closed doors will be the end of you. Do not fear anything except the Lord Almighty. He alone is the Holy One. If you fear Him, you need fear nothing else. He will keep you safe.” 
{Isaiah 8: 11-14}

“Don’t be like this people, always afraid somebody is plotting against them. Don’t fear what they fear. Don’t take on their worries. If you’re going to worry, worry about The Holy. Fear God-of-the-Angel-Armies.“
{Isaiah 8: 11-14; the Message} 

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Protect them, so all who love your name may be filled with joy. For you bless the godly, O Lord, surrounding them with your shield of love. 
{Psalm 5: 11-12}

God is with us in the wait.

If we’re friends on facebook, you know that I am just over this whole waiting thing.

I’m done. 

I’m ready to have S home. I’m ready for the boys to play with their sister instead of pretending to drive to Africa on their bikes to visit her. I’m ready to watch her grow up here in our home, instead of through photos {and, yes, the photos are treasures, little glimpses into her world…but, they are not substitute for the real thing}. I’m ready to ensure her belly is full of healthy food that will give her nourishment. I’m ready to hear her laugh. I’m ready to teach her new things. I’m ready to learn how she likes to sleep {ben has to be surrounded by his stuffed animals and holding onto two – very precise- tags on his blankets & nate likes to hold all three of his babies and be covered up with his blanket from grandma marrs with two others at his feet. they’re hilarious}. I’m ready to hold her and rock her to sleep. I’m ready to see her wearing the cute little outfits hanging in her closet. I’m ready to get to know her and her personality. I’m ready to hear her cry and learn what soothes her. I’m ready to teach her new words. I’m ready to show her the love of a family. I’m just ready, already.

All of it. The good, the bad and the ugly. I’m ready.

I shared this photo on facebook and received so many words of encouragement from loved ones. Many who have been here, smack dab in the middle of this tormenting wait, who understand the pain and the urgency and the tears.

I had a friend {who is in south africa right now to bring home their son!!}, share these wise words:

“Always remember that God is never separate from your wait. He is The Lord of waiting. He is the liberal giver of grace for the wait. Because your wait isn’t outside of his plan, but a vital and necessary part of it, he’s with you in your wait. And remember…God isn’t so much after the success of your life or ministry- he’s after you. So as you wait, tell yourself again and again: waiting isn’t just about what I get at the end of the wait, but about who I become as I wait.” -Paul Tripp 

What a poignant reminder of the work God is doing in my heart during this wait. A reminder that the dark nights of grieving and fear pressing down on me, attempting to crush my hope and trust; always give way to the light of the morning. The light that was purchased at such a high cost on a cross so many years ago. The light of His righteousness.

As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I will wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me…For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord himself will be my light…the Lord will bring me out of darkness and into the light, and I will see His righteousness.
{Micah 7: 7-9}
I don’t know how much longer we will wait. Delays and uncertainty stretch as far as we can see from our place here on earth. Yet, God sees the big picture. He authored this story and knows how it ends. He knows the victory is coming.
Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. {Habakkuk 2:3}