Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

resting in His promises.

The past few days have been a whirlwind of emotions and prayers and tears and joy and confusion. I really don’t want to get into any of the details on here but I do want to share a little bit about what we have experienced this week on this emotional rollercoaster ride in this world of adoption.

The short story is this: we saw a little girl’s face who was orphaned and in a place where she is at risk. Our hearts were stirred {stirred is a nice, easy word but it’s not the right one…I don’t know what the right one is – broken, shattered, wrecked?} as we gazed into her big, brown eyes. We memorized her features and imagined holding her in our arms. Her button nose and pinchable cheeks tugged at our hearts.

We prayed.

We prayed. We begged. We pleaded. We cried out. We asked for discernment and clarity. Is this our daughter, Lord? Is she the one we have been waiting for? Why are we seeing her face? Are you asking us to move? Are you asking us to bring her home? Why are we feeling such unease and caution?

We prayed and begged and pleaded for her. For her safety. For her well-being. For her heart. We continue to do so.  I keep praying for the gates of Heaven to send forth angels of protection to surround her in the days and months to come.

We were uneasy and anxious with the situation. We felt led to her but we also felt God asking us to wait. I begged Him to clearly, undeniably show us what He wanted from us. We feared misinterpreting His call and His will.

He led us to incredible families who knew more about this situation than us. We knew nothing about her country’s adoption program, her orphanage or the agency representing her. God placed people in our path over the past 24 hours that have held our hands {figuratively}, listened, advised, and encouraged. They shared their hearts and their hard journeys. They didn’t sugar coat the situation and they gave us information that overwhelmed and burdened us. But, we are so grateful. Although, I haven’t slept in days and am in tears constantly, I know that this information was necessary. It was hard to process and it is hard to understand and comprehend. It’s hard to fathom, honestly.

I kept praying for God to lead Dave so that I could have peace that we are on the same page and know that God was working and that we weren’t simply trying to control and force the situation to work in our favor.

And, He did. He is faithful. He knew that I could NEVER, ever, ever make this decision on my own. He knew that I couldn’t walk away. I can’t. I can’t make the call to the agency to tell them that we are going to stay on our current course. Dave can and will lead us. We both ache but are peaceful with this decision to stop and to trust.

We know, we believe, we have FAITH that, even this, will be made beautiful. God is sovereign. He is always, always good. He has gone before us and knows where this path will lead.

We can’t see it. We don’t know what is ahead or why this precious little girl has become part of our story. We will pray for her and her forever family and pray that God uses the work He is doing in our lives to glorify Him. That is all we can ask for and all we are promised. To be loved. To be held. To never be forsaken. Even in our hurt and confusion and heartache.

I rest in the promise of my most favorite verse…”There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile.” {1 Peter 1:6}

thankful. days 11-13.

Day 11: Today, I am thankful for a pantry full of food for my family.

And, I’m thankful that, even after I spent an entire afternoon organizing these boxes and bags and cans, I can laugh with my silly boys who decide that these items are better off being used as train cars.

{Why is Ben wearing a winter hat? Really, why not?}

Day 12: Today, I’m thankful for a warm fire and a roof over our heads.
I’m thankful for this place full of love and warmth and joy that we call home.

Day 13: Today, I am thankful for a perfect, peaceful spot to have a very important chat with my Savior.

I’m thankful that I am His child and loved more than I could ever comprehend.

And, I’m so immensely thankful that He is in control and He is writing a beautiful story for our family.

updated numbers & encouragement.

Remember how I told y’all that God was moving in really cool ways while we were at the beach? Oh, how sweet He is. He knows when His kiddos need a little encouragement {I still like to think of myself as God’s kiddo even though I’m a “grown-up”}.

I will admit that I was a little frustrated when we received our latest adoption number update. Our agency hasn’t had a lot of movement this past month and I was starting to feel like the wait would be endless. I started to do the math – averaging out the wait times and the number of families ahead of us and coming up with a depressingly long wait ahead…blah blah… it was a fruitless exercise.

I was quickly reminded by my ever-trusting {sometimes annoyingly so, why can’t he just freak out with me one time?!} hubs that God has got this. I can go ahead and let it go. He has this whole master plan thing figured out. And, He loves our child more than we can even begin to comprehend.

Okay, I know all of these things in my head. But, my heart. Well, my heart was aching. My heart was aching for those babies being abandoned in a market and for all of the children going to bed hungry. My heart was aching to do something. For movement. For forever families. For children to be in a loving family that wanted them desperately.

And, God did what He does best. He intervened and allowed me to meet this family on the beach. He gave me a glimpse into how beautiful our family will be when our newest member comes home. And, most importantly, He reminded me that there is plenty of work to do while we wait. There are amazing ministries like Mission Ethiopia that I can support, encourage and pray for during this time of waiting. I was blessed to meet Dave McIrath that day on the beach and am so encouraged by the good work his family is doing in Ethiopia.

But that’s not all. It gets better! God decided that what I really needed was to spend a quiet morning having coffee with a sweet friend that I had never even met in person. Courtney and I found out that we were both vacationing on the same beach and we were staying only a few houses away from one another {now really, if that doesn’t have God’s fingerprints all over it, I don’t know what does!} so we made plans for a Thursday morning coffee date.

Courtney is another AGCI momma and she is about to travel back to Ethiopia to pick up her GORGEOUS daughter, Reeve!!! I was SO blessed and encouraged that morning with Courtney. She showed me photos of her precious little girl and I got a photo tour of Hannah’s Hope {our agency’s transition home} and Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We talked about God’s sovereignty and how His timing is always perfect.

I was so encouraged and uplifted through these encounters. He truly restores my soul {Psalm 23:3} and I am so grateful.

Even though our numbers are higher than I’d like, we can rejoice because there are TEN {!!!} less orphans in Ethiopia this month!!!!!!!!!

Blessings!

blessings and raindrops.

I have a grateful and a heavy heart today. I’m feeling such mixed emotions as I experience abundant blessings while another family in my area is in the midst of a tumultuous storm full of rain and sorrow.

I am immensely grateful to be home safely. Dave and I feel abundantly blessed as we praise God for His protection and favor on our family.

I will share more from our vacation soon but I had to share this today. Reminders of how fragile and precious our lives are tend to shake me to my core. And, this time is no different.

We had an extremely scary drive home from our trip when Dave completely lost steering on his truck on the interstate. I don’t know all of the technical terms but I do know that the pole {I think it’s called a drag link} that holds the tires together and connects them to the steering wheel, came out of the driver’s side tire when we were going 75 miles per hour. Dave could not turn the tires and had no control over steering the car.

He remained incredibly calm in the situation and I have no doubt that God’s hand directed our car off of the interstate and allowed us to safely maneuver to the Firestone building directly off the exit. There is no other explanation. Dave and the mechanics who surveyed the car agreed that we should not have made it off of that exit. The car had to be pulled with a cable wench onto a tow truck and taken to the Dodge dealership about twenty miles away.

The boys and I took a cab to a hotel while Dave waited for the tow truck to arrive. We had stopped in a pretty dangerous area of town and the wonderful and helpful folks at the Firestone building advised us to quickly get the boys and I to another area of town before nightfall. We didn’t hesitate and left immediately.

I was anxious waiting for Dave to arrive but the boys kept me occupied. They thought it was just another adventure and loved spending time in a hotel. The highlights: jumping on the bed and talking on the landline phones. They each grabbed a phone immediately and called “Nana and Papa at the beach in Florida.”

We were able to rent a car yesterday morning and drive the seven hours home. Dave and I will make the seven hour trip back to Jackson to return the rental car and pick up his truck {hopefully} later this week. I’m not looking forward to another fourteen hours in the car but it is our only option.

As I waited for Dave to return with the rental car yesterday morning, I opened my Bible to find words of encouragement in Isaiah 1: 1-4, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt, Ethiopia, and Seba as a ransom for your freedom… because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.”

This verse first caught my eye earlier this week because of the reference to Ethiopia. I read about how God gave these nations to Persia in exchange for returning the Jews to their homeland. I highlighted the verse and planned to go back and study it further.

However, when I read it again yesterday morning, what really stood out to me were these words: “you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.” 

We are covered in His love. We are precious to our Father.

And, while I am so thankful for God’s love and protection, I am also feeling incredibly heavy-hearted for all of my friends who lost a dear friend in a car accident on Saturday night. I learned about Matt Turner’s passing from a friend on Sunday morning and have felt so broken-hearted for his wife and little girl. Since first hearing the news, I’ve read countless facebook messages and blog posts from friends who were close with his family. I didn’t know him or his wife, Julee, personally but I am in prayer for her and all of his family and friends.

You can read more about ways to pray for and encourage the Turner family on Kelly’s blog here.

Would you all please join me in lifting up the Turner family in your prayers?

Blessings to you all this week!