Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

My Birthday Boys…

To My Precious Ben and Nathan,

I just hugged you tight before laying you down in your beds (you’re still in your cribs…I plan to keep you in those for as long as possible!), and could hardly hold back my tears as I kissed your cheeks and breathed in your perfection. I cannot believe you are turning two tomorrow. TWO. YEARS. OLD. My babies are officially toddlers.

The past two years have been the most blessed of my life. You both amaze your dad and I each and every day. We watch in awe as you soak in the world around you. You are learning and changing so much each day. I hardly even realize how much you’ve changed until I look back on old pictures or watch old videos. You seem so grown up now! You are both talking all the time and you’re both so polite (most of the time) and sweet and innocent. You are full of love and make me see the world differently. I love experiencing the world through your eyes!

One Month – this picture always makes me laugh!
One Year
Two Years

Ben – you are my sweet, kind-hearted soul.

You love animals – stuffed or real. You sleep with about six stuffed animals every night and Mr. Bear is still your favorite.

You love your paci and your blankie. You have to hold onto the tag of your blanket when you lay down to go to sleep. We find the tag and hand it to you that way.

You’re very sensitive and you are also very inquisitive. You like to know how things work. You study everything. You are cautious and take your time before trying something new.

You have the sweetest voice in the world. When you say, “Please” and “Thank you, Daddy” or “Thank you, Mommy” … my heart literally melts. You could get absolutely anything you want when you look at me with those big, bright blue eyes and say, “Please.” It is just the sweetest sound my ears have ever heard. You have been putting words together and making little sentences lately. Yesterday, you told us that your cup was “not working.” And, you love to say, “Cheers!” and tap cups with us during dinner. It’s a funny thing your daddy taught you.

You also love to race or be chased. Nana Marrs taught you to put your hands on your legs and bend down while I say, “Ready, Set, Go!” before you race off. You laugh so hard while you run. You have always had the most infectious laugh.

Your smile is contagious and you could charm the moon, my sweet boy.

You love to dance. You also love an audience. You always are so sweet and tell everyone, “Bye Bye” or “Night Night” and give hugs and kisses before leaving someone’s house or heading to bed.

You love to sing in the car.

You are independent and like to play by yourself sometimes. You could “cook” in your kitchen or on your new BBQ set for hours.

You are the light of my life.

One Month
One Year
Two Years Old!



Nate – you are my funny, cuddly, dare-devil.

You make everyone laugh. You are the life of any party and light up any room you enter.

You climb on everything and have no fear of anything. You always have bumps, bruises and scrapes. {Today, you climbed Aunt Katie’s pile of bricks and fell off and scraped your arm up and dropped a brick on your toe. It was bleeding and is bruised.}

You love making truck noises and are really good at it. You make tractor noises, beeping noises for big trucks backing up, fire truck sirens, airplanes, dump trucks and garbage trucks. You love construction trucks and get so excited when you see one.

You love your baby {your glow seahorse} and take it with you everywhere.  You have two and prefer to have them both in your arms at all times. Especially when you sleep.

You like two of everything. If I hand you a cracker, you will say, “I need two.” You’re that way with anything…”Two” and “Baby” are your favorite words.

You also love to say, “Dada” “Mama” “Papa” “Nana” and “Chi Chi”.  You probably say those words twenty times a day. You also say, “No!” in response to Ben saying, “Mine!” {which he does a lot}.

You are so sweet with your brother. When he cries or gets hurt, you bring him his blankie and even give him your beloved baby for comfort.

You love to give hugs. You especially love hugging your friend Hannah, your brother and Max {our pup}. They are all not very appreciative of your hugs but you still give them! And, you hug all of your family when you are saying goodbye. You are very loving.

You love to snuggle in the morning. You and I snuggle up on the couch and watch “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” or “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” together every morning. I treasure our snuggle times. Sometimes you will fall asleep on me when you wake up too early…those are some of my favorite moments. Listening to you breathing and praising God for the abundance of love in my life.

You are the light of my life.

One Month
One Year
Two Years Old! {Barnyard Party}

Ben & Nate – I love you with all of my heart and am so honored to be your momma. You will always be my precious babies. I wouldn’t trade a single moment of the journey to get to this place. I am grateful and blessed!!

I love you! Happy Birthday boys!!!!

XOXOXO,
Mama 🙂

One Step Closer!!!

To do on Saturday morning: a visit to the farmer’s market.

That was our agenda for the morning. No other plans. Just a leisurely-spent morning sipping coffee and walking a few blocks to the downtown square to buy fresh blueberries and strawberries {which we ate the majority of before we made it home} and a new planter with fresh herbs.

A calm, relaxing, quiet morning.

The weather was perfect – cool and sunny.

We even stopped by our dear neighbor’s house on the way home so the boys could see her pet turtle and pick raspberries in her patch out back. She is the sweetest lady in the world. Ms. Betty. She has to be in her late 70’s and we saw her on our walk home riding her bike {!} to pick dandelions for her turtle’s lunch. She invited us over and we just enjoyed her company. She told us more about her life and her family. It was fascinating. We weren’t rushed to be anywhere so we just visited with her and soaked up the uninterrupted time together. Times like that are few and far between in our hurried and busy lives.

I thought there was nothing that could have made this day begin any more perfectly.

Until we arrived home.

I noticed we had mail and, as soon as I saw the packet from Dillon, our home study agency, I was overcome with a combination of joy and panic.

Joy because I had been waiting for this packet to come for weeks. It was our final, approved and notarized home study.

Panic because I thought it would arrive on Monday or Tuesday. I wasn’t prepared. I had left our I-600a application and cover letter at my office last week thinking I would get the home study and mail it off sometime during the week.

So, I frantically retyped our USCIS application and cover letter, grabbed our home study, our birth certificates and our marriage license and raced out the door. {Dave stayed home to put the boys down for their nap}.

It was 11:30 at this point.

I rushed to the bank to have two cashier’s checks issued to accompany our application.

As soon as I pulled into the bank, I realized that I didn’t know who to issue the checks to. How could I not have printed these off last week?? Frustrated at my lack of preparation, I called Dave to check it out online. He couldn’t find anything so I made an assumption and had them issued to “USCIS.”

I ran out the door and headed to the Fed Ex office to mail our packet off. As I was filling out the “to” section on the shipping label, Dave called and alerted me that he double checked in our AGCI workbook and we needed the cashier’s checks written to the Department of Homeland Security.

WHAT?!

I dropped my pen and raced out the door. The poor guy behind the counter must have thought I was a complete lunatic.

I sped back to the bank and was confronted with a five-person deep line.

I waited in line VERY impatiently. I was even annoying myself with my loud sighs and pacing back and forth.

I prayed. I apologized for not planning ahead and asked for God to get this application in the mail. I turned it over to Him. I was gently reminded that this will all work out in His time. Not mine.

The bank teller was an angel on earth and rushed to reissue the checks for me. I wanted to jump over the counter and give her a hug but there was no time.

It was 12:12 and the last Fed Ex pick-up for the day happened at 12.

Knowing that there was little hope of getting this out today, I still raced back to the Fed Ex office. Rushing in, looking all kinds of crazy, I yelled, “Did I make it?!”

I had! The pick-up was late!!!

I snapped a quick photo before handing over six months of hard work to the frightened kid who unfortunately came to work that day. He definitely thought I was crazy.

I had a date in my head since the beginning of this process: May 14th. That was my goal to have our paperwork complete. We almost made it. Our USCIS application (last bit of paperwork) will arrive to their office on the morning of May 14th. Pretty awesome, right?

Next up, fingerprints and then shipping off our giant dossier packet to AGCI. We are SO close, I can taste it!!!

And, I can’t forget to mention, when I arrived home from what felt like a audition for “The Amazing Race,” the house was CLEAN and the boys were asleep. What else could I possibly ask for on this Mother’s Day weekend?? Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.

“Long ago, even before he made the world, God loved us and chose in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:4 (emphasis mine)

Weekend Festivities

Whew! This past weekend was BUSY…but in a really, really good way. We spent the entire weekend sharing laughs with some of our all-time favorite people.

Here’s the breakdown: we hosted two impromptu dinners with friends at our house, one baby shower (well, that was just me and not Dave), and one going away dinner for Uncle Bob & Aunt Jill. We also attended a neighborhood get-together, baked (and ate) loaves and loaves of homemade bread, planted some flowers for Earth Day and started quite a few fires (on purpose).

I will warn you now, this is going to be a long post. I have cut down the photos as much as I could. I sent the 100+ images out to my mom and sisters but I had to share some of the highlights here for memory’s sake. These are images of the moments I absolutely treasure…weekends at home together with loved ones!

Friday —

It was really chilly here on Friday so we spent the afternoon playing at Hannah’s house and then Katrin and I took the kiddos to our favorite coffee shop downtown for coffee (for us) and chocolate milk and banana bread for the kiddies. It was so fun and relaxing.

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE having Friday’s off??

After our coffee date, the kiddos played in the park for a while and then Katrin, Scott and Hannah came over for some homemade soup for dinner. It was a perfect night for soup and what will probably be our last fireplace fire until next winter.

While we waited for the Clubines to arrive, the boys (all 3 of them) sat and watched the fire (and ate a banana).
After dinner, Hannah joined the boys for a bath and donned some of their bigger PJ’s (explains the Santa PJ’s she’s wearing) before we walked her and her parents back home. 
Can you tell how much we are loving having the Clubine’s as neighbors??!

Saturday — 

I dare you to tell me that this isn’t THE sweetest boy on this planet (bedhead and all)…

You see, I took this picture of Ben with my phone Saturday morning when he was being silly and snuggling with his giant teddy bear. I told him that his cousin Michael would love a picture of Ben and the bear (Michael MAY tie for the world’s sweetest boy on the planet award…) because he loves bears and he loves his little cousins. So, sweet, adorable, loving Ben gave his bear a giant hug and said, “Cheese!”

Just after I sent the photo off to my sister, Angie, Nathan came into the living room yelling and shaking his hand at me.

His hand (and his stomach and his chest) was covered in poo. Not surprisingly, the wall in the laundry room was too. I suppose he tried to rub it off on anything he could find. (Now, I really can’t blame him there…)

Seriously. This is not made up.

And, yes, this is the same child who pooed in the bathtub a couple months ago.

I blame this behavior entirely on his father. 

Legend has it that a certain camping trip was ended abruptly when a certain little Davey decided to drive trucks in piles of “mud” in the family tent. No lie. These are the genes Nathan inherited. 

Please feel free to laugh out loud. I did. It’s all you can do with a houseful of boys. I promise you. 🙂

Moving along to Saturday afternoon, everybody cleaned up and we headed to our little neighborhood get together (I call it a neighborhood but we live downtown so it’s just our little block but it feels cozy like a neighborhood to me). Each year, Mrs. Bogle hosts a party for all the neighbors to come over on Prom night.

Now, if that doesn’t leave you confused, I don’t know what does.

Well, all of the high schoolers (from our town’s high school) come to the park across from Mrs. Bogle’s house (that is appropriately named, “Bogle Park” since she owns and maintains it :-)), to have photos taken before prom.

Sounds simple enough, right? Just some high school kids having their picture taken before heading off to dinner and prom with their date. Why would we go to eat apps and watch these kids take photos?

It is actually quite a spectacle. Hundreds of kids and their parents congregate at the park starting in the early afternoon. There are limos, shuttle buses, professional photographers… the works. And, we had a front row seat to all the action. I sort of felt like I was a commentator for a red carpet special. There were some amazing dresses and some very interesting ones.

And, a few of us adults decided to dress up in our own prom gear. Why not? We’re old and weird and embarrassing anyway.

I tried to get a photo of Ben & Nathan in front of the high school kids…this was all I could get. I find it hard to believe that someday (sooner than I would hope), these sweet, innocent, toddlers will be going to prom themselves. Maybe I will embarrass them with this photo on their prom night. Ooh..and the earlier story in this post. Oh, the poor dates these boys bring home…
How sweet is this? Like father, like son. Sometimes those genes they share are pretty darn cute. 🙂
I didn’t go over and get in the middle of the action but can you see how many people there are over there? And it goes back all the way into the park!
Feeding Mrs. Bogle’s Hog statue.
Go Gators! 🙂

Next up, our crew headed back to our house for a little bouncing and a barbecue…

It looks like Nathan just pushed Caroline. He is way too excited and she is  upside down and backwards. Hmmm…..
After taking out Caroline in the bouncy, he went after her sister. Nathan and Evelyn were tackling each other for about 20 minutes…
Apparently, I need to teach this boy some manners.

Sweet friends 🙂
Digging in the flower bed with a spatula. Normal, right?
Everyone wanted in on the digging-in-the-dirt action.

Surprisingly (or not at all), we ended the night with another bonfire…this one was a little more tame. No dead trees, just some firewood.

Dave’s Uncle Bob & Aunt Jill from Minnesota recently renovated the apartment behind Katie’s house  (we now call it “The Marrs’ Compound”) and will stay there during there visits to NWA. We SO enjoyed having them as neighbors and will miss them this summer while they’re back in Minnesota! (Cousin Emily is in this photo with Chiquita in her lap too :-)…luckily, she’s staying in town)!

Hannah wanted a photo with Nathan and he obviously did not. Ha!

Sunday — 
The boys both ate breakfast while holding their football and basketball. They would not put them down. They are my little athletes (and/or they just didn’t want their brother to take their ball).

I spent my Sunday morning at a wonderful brunch celebrating my sweet friend, Muffy’s baby boy on the way. This was truly one of the simplest and most fun showers I have hosted in a long time! Because this is her second baby, we decided to do a low-key brunch at a local restaurant.

There were only a handful of us there and these girls are all some of my closest friends in this area. I have known them all for years and LOVED having a quiet brunch with them. We were able to have adult conversations and eat our food as slowly as we wanted and drink our coffee while it was still warm…it was fabulous! 🙂

No stress planning included a fun bouquet centerpiece put together with flowers I bought at Sam’s club (& Katrin added diapers so it was a useful gift too!) and then yummy cakeball favors!
The Mama-to-Be (again) 🙂
LOVE these girls!!

Other Sunday activities included…

Baking homemade bread and making homemade pasta sauce 🙂 YUMM!
I’ll have to get this recipe from Dave to share…it was INCREDIBLE!!! (He also made two other loaves and rolls that were all eaten!)
And, in honor of Earth Day, we planted new flowers out front! 
Lastly, we hosted a going away dinner for Bob & Jill as they headed back to Minnesota on Monday morning. It was a wonderful evening full of delicious food (homemade pasta, salad from the garden, homemade bread and homemade brownies!) and laughter. We have absolutely loved having Bob & Jill live next door this past month or so…we got so used to seeing them out on walks or having them drop by for a visit. They are wonderful neighbors and we can’t wait until they are back for another visit! We miss them already!
Sorry for the lengthy post…I just couldn’t leave any of these good times out! 🙂
I leave tomorrow morning for Florida with Nathan! We are going for my sister’s wedding shower on Saturday. I am hosting with her other bridesmaids and have been hard at work on all sorts of projects and planning. I can’t wait to share the details of her shower! It should be a PERFECT day – I cannot wait!!
Ben and Daddy will be soaking up some one on one time. And, I’m sure Nathan will love all the attention from Nana & Papa (& aunt lori, uncle steven, aunt christina, bradley, grandma and nana) all to himself! 
I’m a little nervous again about separating them but I think it will be a fun experience for them both. This is our last flight while the boys are under two so I’m taking advantage of Nathan being able to fly free one last time! 
Happy Wednesday!!

There is Great Joy Ahead…

As if being reminded of my 4-year old talents wasn’t profound enough, I wanted to share another {possibly EVEN better} lesson learned from the Living Proof Live event.

I know, I know…you’re thinking, this can’t be possible. You already told us that you were a child genius! What more could you have to share?! Ha!

Before I get to the good stuff, first let me give you a little bit of the back story…

We have been working HARD on our dossier paperwork for our adoption. It is just ridiculous how long this is taking. It is a checklist of documents, people. A checklist.

I am the self-proclaimed QUEEN of checklists. That is what I do. I check things off lists. I write down tasks that I already completed just so I can check them off.

This is why I am beyond frustrated with all of this paperwork. For Pete’s sake, I should be able to compile a bunch of bloody documents, right?! (I don’t know why I used the word “bloody” – I guess I’m feeling British this morning after having a scone for breakfast).

Anyway, we have been having setback after setback with these documents.

I KNOW with 100% confidence that the enemy is working against us here. He HATES adoption. He will stop at nothing to stand in our way. This isn’t just about gathering documents. There is a real spiritual battle happening here.

Every single time I think we have a document returned complete and notarized, we find a mistake. Dates not matching. Wording not exact (and I mean EXACT).

For example, I have had to have my sweet, kind, fabulous HR manager rewrite my employment letter SIX times. SIX. Are you kidding me?!

Last week, I was in tears on the phone with our CPA. Dave is self-employed and we need a very specific letter from our CPA stating in exact terms that he has been Dave’s CPA for the past 8 years and Dave’s salary last year was X and his anticipated salary this coming year is X.

Well, that just sounds simple, doesn’t it?

It’s not. Dave doesn’t have a set salary. He reinvests money into his business all the time. And, his taxes for 2011 are not final so the CPA will not write what the salary amount was for 2011 yet. He also will not estimate what Dave’s salary for 2012 will be. He also won’t just agree with me on what our rental income for 2011 was. I gave him a number that is accurate based on our calculations and he won’t just use it. Can you hear how loudly I’m typing this? Do you sense my frustration here?!

UGH!

To make matters worse, just after VERY exciting progress that our home study is written and under review (we need a final home study in order to apply for our approval from the US Immigration office), I got an email on Saturday morning from our social worker stating that our agency does not agree with her approved parameters. This sounds complicated but basically, she approved us for a child or siblings up to 36 months old and our agency (based on our very initial conversations) has us approved for one child up to 18 months old.

So, there is a problem. The agency approval HAS to match our home study approval.

Okay…that was a long background story…

The point of this all is to say that I received the email from our incredibly patient and fantastic social worker on Saturday morning as I was leaving the hotel to go hear Beth Moore speak.

I was a hot mess, ya’ll.

A blubbering, frustrated, sad, annoyed, mess.

I NEEDED to be filled up. I needed to be reminded of WHY we are doing all of this. And, WHO is in charge of it all.

And, I was.

God did not let me down. He never does. Never.

As Beth asked us to turn in our Bible’s to 1 Thessalonians, I flipped a little too far and landed right on the first chapter of 1 Peter.

Do you know what was highlighted in bright yellow and caught my attention? 1 Peter 1:6.

“There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while.”

Wow…did you get goosebumps too?

That’s not even all of it!

I was feverishly writing this verse and my thoughts down in my notebook (basically, I wrote “the enemy is fighting this against this adoption every step of the way but God is charge. His timing is PERFECT. We will suffer through paperwork and the wait and the grief and the long road ahead BUT there IS great joy ahead!”)

As soon as I finished writing, do you know what Beth did?

She asked us to turn in our Bibles to 1 Peter 1:6!!!!!!!!

I literally could not believe it. My sister-in-law was sitting next to me and about fell off her chair since I had just shown her the verse I had written down.

Beth went on to say that we must go through trials and afflictions and be tested in our faith. But we will also have holy moments in this very unholy place (earth). We must still fight the good fight.

I know that someday I want to be able to say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:6).

“So if you are suffering according to God’s will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you.” (1 Peter 5:19) Emphasis mine.

I know that there will be trials on this road. I know it will not be easy. But I know we are called to this place for a greater purpose. We are fighting the good fight every step of the way. And we will be rewarded. And, oh my, how great our reward will be. There is GREAT JOY ahead!!!