sovereign

On Wednesday, the US Embassy in Kinshasa held a conference call for adoptive parents to help clarify what to anticipate in terms of this exit permit suspension. Of course, they were not able to tell us much more than what we already knew. This decision is not one that can be swayed by the American government.

As our agency stated in a summary email after the call {in regards to cases like ours}, “it means that your case will continue to progress until it is
time for the exit permit and then you will unfortunately go into a “holding
pattern” until the situation is resolved.” And, according to the Embassy officials, the suspension will likely last the full 12 months.

The past few days have been hard. The little light of hope I had been holding on to that this suspension would be short lived and our daughter would be home before the year’s end has been diminished.

I know, I fully trust, that God is bigger than any government decision and I know, I fully trust, that God could overturn this suspension in a mere moment.

But, I am human. My heart is quite literally crushed. Getting out of bed in the morning seems like an insurmountable feat at this point. In my darkest moments, I’d admit that I cannot continue to hold out hope that this suspension will be short-lived. Because, the reality is, I am trying to guard my heart.

I am taking a break from social media…I’m taking a break from anything and everything that exerts extra energy. I need to reserve my energy for my husband and these two precious boys under my roof. I need to be here for them.

Meanwhile, I’m trusting God to work all of this out for good. I’m trusting the One who has held our daughter in His hands before we ever knew her.

Y’all know music speaks to my soul and gives my heart words to cry out when my well has run dry. Wednesday afternoon, after my mother-in-law mercifully came over to watch the boys for a couple of hours so that I could get out of the house and cry and pray alone, I listened to Chris Tomlin’s song, Sovereign, over and over and over. I sang along with the words and have repeated them out loud continually since. Such truth. I have let these truths wash over my heart and I am thankful that God can be trusted and He has not left our family for a moment.

My favorite verse… In your never failing love, You work everything for good, God whatever comes my way, I will trust you…

Please continue to pray for a miracle with us.