surprising.

I find this season of my life to be wonderfully surprising. It’s also abundant, fun, and hectic. But, mostly, it’s surprising.

I had all of these ideas of what our life would look like once Sylvie came home and we became a family with four children ages four and under. I don’t even have the words to articulate these made-up ideas. They were just there on the edges, floating thoughts of how things would be. Our family would finally be complete. We would finally be able to rest, to breathe, to focus on anything other than the void in our lives while she waited on the other side of the globe. I knew we would be busy. I knew we would likely be overwhelmed and a touch crazy. But, we would be together. That would be enough.

It’s funny, as I sat in the gorgeous great hall of the 21C Museum Hotel this past Sunday night and listened to the striking voices of Penny & Sparrow as they performed during our latest Bentonville Session, I was taken aback for a moment as I realized my life had taken paths that I never saw coming.

Photo Credit: Sluyter Photography

God is like that. Once you open up your palms and release all that you are to Him and for His work, He fills your life in ways that you couldn’t possibly imagine on your own. You suddenly find yourself on an adventure and completely surprised, in the best possible way.

He has taught me that enough isn’t really what I thought it would be. My family finally residing under the same roof made me realize that only He is enough. No other person or experience could make me whole.

There wasn’t a grand finale to our story on the day she came home. We didn’t stop pursuing Him or stop seeking His direction for our steps. Quite the contrary, God just kept on opening doors and placing our little family in moments that are undeniably orchestrated by His hand.

Because, if I’m being honest, when we said that first yes to adoption years ago, we had no idea where He would take us. We also had no way of knowing that the hesitant, shaky yes to those big, brown eyes would lead to a very long, very intense spiritual battle. We weren’t aware that we would see Him in new ways, or that we would experience His love and grace in such abundance, and we certainly didn’t understand the depth of which we would feel His presence in the midst of our great fears.

We just kept walking forward. Hesitant at times. Shaky at best. One day, one step at a time.

Now, we continue doing the same. We stand on these shaky legs. We hobble forward. We pray for discernment. We ask where to next place our feet. We walk forward into unknown territory. We feel unequipped. We question our ability. Yet, we press on.

We are amazed each month when the money is transferred across the globe that nearly 180 children will be eating three meals a day for the next month. Every month. We pray we don’t grow numb to the miracles of this provision.

We are humbled and grateful as we watch our community rally around this cause of caring for the orphaned and vulnerable children of this world. We walk alongside friends as they work tirelessly planning a concert each and every month in order to keep these little tummies full.

We laugh at God’s sense of humor as we work to ready the fields for planting on our soon-to-be Feed Their Tummies Blueberry Farm. Last year, we moved to the Farmhouse at His leading, not knowing that He had bigger plans for this move. We sensed He would use this space in a big way but as the plans unfolded for this new farm, we continued to be awestruck at His ability to change our lives and flip them upside down. We never saw ourselves as farmers, {well, I never did. Dave may have had this seed planted long ago} but here we are rolling up our sleeves and getting to work.

As I read Shauna Niequist’s new devotional, Savor, this morning, I was struck by the powerful truth of her words:

…”Life is like that, twisty and surprising. But life with God is like that exponentially. We can dig in, make plans, write in stone, pretend we’re not listening, but the voice of God has a way of being heard. It seeps in like smoke even when we’ve barred the door, and it moves us, to different countries and emotional territories and ways of living. It keeps us moving and dancing and watching. And with the surprises comes great hope.”