Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

anxiety is rooted in control.

I had planned to start a new series about our farmhouse renovation. I haven’t really written about it on this blog because Dave asked me not to share pictures until it was finished {he knows I’m an over-sharer…he is so strange to me, the fun is in the progress :)}. Anyway, I decided that I needed something fun to focus on right now and that was going to be it. Remember last year when I casually mentioned we were MOVING a 100+year old house to some land outside of town? I mean, that is FUN. We moved a house! That is not something you see everyday. We are getting close to completing the renovation. And, the story of this house is just so amazing. A God story, for sure.

Sneak Peek at the CRAZY! Yep, you’re seeing this.
That is a roof. In the air.

But, all of that fun will wait for now. Sorry, you’ll have to check back:).

For now, I have to share a couple of things that have happened in our adoption journey…

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 3:30 am and I was wide awake. The only thing that I could think about was that I needed to check my email. And, there, displayed by the bright neon light on my phone in the dark of the room {that woke Dave up – he was so confused and not happy about being woken up to my phone’s light and my shrieks of joy}, were FOUR emails from the Embassy in Kinshasa. I had sent a “few” emails over the past month inquiring about our case and never received a response…until yesterday.

This was such an answered prayer and a reminder that God hasn’t forgotten about us in the midst of all the other stuff happening. He has His hands FULL so I could see how we could slip off the radar. SO thankful God doesn’t work like that. Thankful that His ways are much, much higher than mine.

Soooo, we finally, finally have an interview at the Embassy for S’s birth momma!! The interview is scheduled for next week! I’ve shared on our private facebook page, but here are my prayers for this time {if you would like to join me in praying, I would be immensely grateful}:

 Lord Jesus, please let this woman, your daughter, and the woman who carried our precious S in her womb, feel your peace as she takes this final step of relinquishing her precious baby girl. Comfort her heart and give her strength. Lord Jesus, please let her arrive safely to the interview. And, Jesus, please let the interview go well. Please let the Embassy staff hear her story and stand in agreement that S is an orphan no more- she is a beloved and treasured daughter of our King and can come home to be a part of our family!!!
 
After walking on cloud 9 all morning {even through my exhaustion – no, I could not fall back asleep}, I leaned that the state department had posted a new alert with updated information from the immigration authority in the DRC. You can read the alert HERE.
 
Honestly, this doesn’t change things for us. We are still waiting out the exit permit suspension and praying HARD that it does not last the full 12 months. Please, Jesus.
 
But, this affects three of my close friends on this journey. Three strong women who have walked this road with me and have encouraged me, prayed for me and stood beside me. These three women {and many others} are now being told that they cannot bring home the children they have come to love {and two of them have met their babies already} simply because they are single {and one precious momma is a young widow}. To say that this news is devastating is an understatement.
 
I am so encouraged to already see good coming out of this… we have a group of mommas that have been relentlessly praying, sharing scripture and encouraging one another. And, yesterday, we collectively cried together…across the nation. It has been incredible to watch God bind these sweet sisters’ hearts together for the cause of justice for the orphaned and oppressed.
 
In yesterday morning’s Bible study, Beth Moore’s words rung in my ears. This statement just sent goosebumps up and down my spine. Such truth.
 
“Anxiety steals our joy. All anxiety is rooted in control. Anxiety turns into all out fear when we know we have no control.” – Beth Moore
 
Amen, Beth. Amen.
 
My anxious heart did a double take in that moment. I know that I have absolutely no control here. But, I also know that the One who is in control has more authority than any government decision. Therefore, I am trusting that God cares what happens to S and all of my friend’s children, and I am casting my anxieties onto Him. {1 Peter 5:7}
 
I can’t change my circumstances but I can change my outlook. I can keep my eyes on Jesus and stand firm in His truth.
 
This morning, I shared what God spoke to my heart with my fellow mommas. I’ll copy some of here because I want to remember all of this. I want to look back on these days and see God’s hand in all of it.
 
 
“Good morning, sweet sisters. Warning: this is long. 

 I had to share a little of what God spoke to my heart this morning…
“Jenny, read Isaiah again. Remember my promises.”

You see, when we were struggling over the decision to change country programs and I spent an afternoon praying over the decision, God led me to one of my favorite books of the Bible, Isaiah. I read and cried and prayed and cried for hours. It was an incredible afternoon – I felt like Jesus was sitting there with me reading the words and explaining them to my heart and how they do not only apply to events thousands of years ago, but to my life today. And, how he wants to move in my life and in the life of His children in the DRC. I have highlights and underlines and asterisks and exclamation marks all over that book. He spoke so much truth to my heart that day. He gave me a clear direction for what He wanted Dave and I to do. And, now, as I read back through the same words, I am reminded, that the same God who brought them to life for me one year ago, wants me to read them now with fresh eyes.

He is going to perform a miracle, girls!
“Everyone will see this miracle and understand that it is the LORD, the Holy One of Israel, who did it.” {Isaiah 41:20}.

“He will reveal justice to the nations” {Isaiah 42:1}…When the poor and needy search for water and there is none, and their tongues are parched from thirst, then I, the LORD, will answer them, I, God of Israel, will never forsake them.” {Isaiah 41:17}.

“I, the LORD, have called you to demonstrate your righteousness. I will guard and support you…And you will be a light to guide all nations to me. You will open the eyes of the blind and free the captives from prison. You will release those who sit in dark dungeons {or dark orphanages!!}”
{Isaiah 42:6-7}

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. {We are HIS. Our children are HIS}. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior… you are precious to me. You are honored and I love you.” {Isaiah 43:1-3}

Last one…this is good… “For I am about to do a brand new thing. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? {honestly, no, Lord, I don’t see it yet but I trust you}… I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come home {and OUR babies!!}. I will create rivers for them in the desert!” {Isaiah 43:19}.

One of the commentaries in my Bible says this about the verse above, “The past miracles were nothing compared to what God would do for his people in the future.” I know that my family’s adoption journey has been full of incredible, incredible miracles. God’s fingerprints have been all over this path. He has confirmed our steps and revealed His heart to us in fresh ways. So, to think that the miracles to come are going to be far greater than anything He has already done, is awesome.

I cannot wait to see what He has already begun here. I’m praying that He bind our aching-momma hearts together in prayer and open our eyes anew to see His work. So that we can all give Him the glory when the miracles come to pass. So that, we will know without a doubt, that it was God’s hand who delivered our precious children.”

I cannot wait to watch the miracles unfold… 


when the waiting seems to last forever.

Dear friends, don’t forget that for the Lord one day is the same as a thousand years, 
and a thousand years is the same as one day. 
The Lord isn’t slow about keeping his promises, as some people think he is. 
In fact, God is patient, because he wants everyone to turn from sin and no one to be lost. 
 {2 Peter 3:8-9}
“for the Lord one day is the same as a thousand years, 

and a thousand years is the same as one day.”

And, therefore, for the Lord one day is the same as the 334 days since we first saw her face. And, 334 days is the same as one day.
I can hardly grasp the concept. 
On this cool, rainy Autumn day, my heart aches and longs for my little love across the globe. I try hard to rest in His promises. To say with earnest, “not mine, but your will be done.” 
I give myself permission to face the harsh reality that she may not be home for another year. We may miss another Christmas with her… another New Year’s, another birthday, another Easter, another summer….
I never saw this coming. It hurts. The pain is searing.
I started my day before dawn, reading these words …
“When the waves are crazy high and the wind whips strong and cold across your face and you don’t know what’s going to happen, you have an anchor in the storm. 
You have the assurance that God is in control and has made promises He has guaranteed with an oath. You don’t know when those promises will happen, but you can be sure they will. 
That kind of assurance will settle your heart right down.” 
– James MacDonald, Always True {emphasis mine}

I have an anchor in this storm. 

My heart may ache.
I may not understand any of this but I know that God brought me to this place.
He never promised this would be easy.
He never said His work is without cost or sacrifice.
He does promise that He is in control.
I can trust in that truth and stand firm during the hard season of waiting.

where we are.

We’re still waiting to hear news from DGM. As of now, the exit permit suspension is still in effect for up to 12 months. That’s all we know. 
That leaves us waiting and praying. 
{Not unlike the past two years of this journey}. 
So much of the international adoption process is completely out of our control – I think that’s why God is able to be so clearly in the forefront of our stories as adoptive families. We have to trust. We have to surrender control. We have to fix our eyes upon Jesus and stand firm in our faith even when everything else is unclear. 
The other night, I woke up around 3am and felt a gentle nudge in my heart to focus on the good. To focus on His faithfulness in this journey. That’s what I’m choosing to do today. 
I’m choosing to be thankful that our I-600 was approved and our case is en route to the Embassy in Kinshasa for our investigation to begin. 
I’m choosing to be thankful for the next stage of this process to begin, even if I do not have any timelines to plan for or holidays to envision as a family of five. 
Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. {Habakkuk 2:3}
I’m choosing to remember how God has provided every penny for this adoption – most of the time in the exact amount, at the exact time we needed it. 
I’m choosing to remember all of the encouraging cards, emails, text messages and voicemails from friends near and far. Words of hope when I needed them the most.
I’m choosing to remember the keeper of the storehouse of snow who chose to shower me in white flurries last May just to remind me how big He is and how dearly my S is loved. 
Or the rainbows He has placed in the sky when I simply needed to lift my eyes. 
I’m choosing to remember the verse He directed me to and affirmed moments later as Beth Moore read the exact verse from the stage where she spoke.
There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. 
{1 Peter 1:6}
I’m choosing to remember the One who called us to this path. He is faithful and good. S is His beloved daughter. We will continue to wait for her to be in our arms. We will continue to pray and hope. 
And, just because. A few more beach photos I had to share…because you can’t tell me that a little girl with curly hair and big, brown eyes and a smile that lights up the room wouldn’t fit just perfectly with this crazy crew. 🙂

The joy of the LORD is your strength. 
{Nehemiah 8:10}

caught off guard.

When I posted on Friday afternoon I was writing from a place of peacefulness and gratitude.

Shortly after hitting publish, my world was rocked. As we sat down to enjoy our last meal together at the beach, I noticed all of the missed calls and texts and FB messages as my phone lit up continuously. 
The state department had posted this alert. 

Alert: Democratic Republic of the Congo Immigration Authorities Suspend Issuance of Exit Permits to Adoptees

I literally felt the waves come crashing down around me while uncertainty and confusion swirled. The immigration authorities in the DRC announced a suspension of Exit Permits to adoptees for up to 12 months. 

To say that I was in shock is an understatement. I cried and cried and eventually just felt numb. I was in a haze of confusion, anger, despair and sorrow. It wasn’t pretty. 
I wish I could say that I felt the quiet assurance of trust that God is in control even in this situation. But, I didn’t. Not at first. When I first heard this news, all I felt was fear. 
After dinner, I found a quiet spot and opened the study I had been prompted to dust off the shelf…Always True; God’s Promises When Life is Hard by James Macdonald.
I opened to where I had left off and saw these words of hope and truth:

Macdonald’s words echoed my heartache, “Christians don’t generally set out to doubt God. We don’t question our faith without reason. Life’s pain or unexpected questions simply catch us off guard.“

That was me: caught off guard.

Tossing in the waves, feeling hopeless. As James wrote, “The one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” {Jas. 1:6} There was no denying that I was being tossed by the wind, grasping for breath.

“The Lord promises that if we trust in him with all our heart, if we do not lean on our own understanding, and if we acknowledge HIm in all our ways, He will make our paths smooth. {Proverbs 3:5-6} God will pave the way for us.” – James Macdonald

I read those two sentences over and over. I tried to pray but all I could muster was a simple, sincere, cry out to my Heavenly Father,

“Jesus, make a way where I can’t see a way.“

I wrote that little pray in my journal and felt peace envelop me.

“You keep him in perfect peace 
whose mind is stayed on you, 
because he trusts in you.”  {Isaiah 26:3}
Today, there are still no answers. Uncertainty continues to loom ahead like a dark cloud. Yet, I am at peace.

I am trusting that God; the One who called us to this place, the One who has provided time and again, the One that has affirmed our path over and over; will move in a mighty way.

He will protect the children who are waiting and praying for a family.
He will hold each and every orphaned child in our daughter’s country in His loving embrace.
He will command His angel armies to surround the orphanages and the foster homes where these children are living.
He will protect them from illness and pain.
He will bring them home to the mommas and daddies and brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and nanas and papas that are waiting and loving them from afar.

Hope will rise.

And, in the meantime, I will continue to meet with my other waiting mommas after we tuck our littles in at night. We will continue to hold hands under the stars and pray. We will continue to cry out to our Abba Father and ask that He protect our babies. We will continue to hold a vigil of prayer and trust. We will keep our eyes on Him.

Our Hope. Our Redeemer. Our Comforter. Our Ever Present Help in times of trouble.

Joseph replied, 
“Don’t be afraid. Do I act for God? Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now — life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I’ll take care of you and your children.” 
He assured them, speaking with them heart-to heart. {Genesis 50: 19-21 MSG}