Once again, I’ve neglected this space for way too long. In all honesty, this year has just been too much for me to even find the brain space to sit and type out a coherent thought. I’m sure so many of you can relate.
Now that we’ve wrapped filming for the year, I’m attempting to come up for air and catch up on all.the.things from the past year. I’m organizing my closet and taking my kids out on solo dates and savoring the weight of a sleeping Luke on my chest during his afternoon nap. I’m giving myself grace and allowing my body and mind to rest and process all this past year has held.
While it’s true I have much to grieve from this year, I also have so much to be grateful for. And, rather than focusing on the hard and the disappointing, I choose to focus on the good. Covid has stolen so much from all of us but it has also gifted us the time to step off the hamster wheel and take a good look around. We’ve been gifted the chance to take an inventory of our priorities. And, I have to say, I’m grateful to be able to re-evaluate my commitments and my relationships.
At the start of the year, the Lord pressed Isaiah 30:15 on my heart. I didn’t know why at the time, yet, over the past year, it’s become evident.
In quietness and confidence is your strength.
One of the not-so-fun side effects of this more public life we’re now leading are the opinions and harsh words from strangers behind a screen. I believe quarantine life has made the trolls harsher and angrier and given them more time to sit behind their computer and share their thoughts. And, they undoubtably forget (or maybe don’t care) that real people sit on the other side of the screen, reading their bitter words.
When I read a hateful comment, particularly targeted at my kids or my family, I immediately want to attack back. I become defensive and angry and want to respond with an equal measure of cruelty. Yet, the Spirit guides me over and over again back to Isaiah 30:15.
In quietness and confidence is your strength.
I found a commentary on this verse that resonates so deeply with my soul:
“Trusting God’s promises means quietness. You don’t need to argue for your side when God is on your side. Be quiet before him and before others, it shows you really trust Him.”
I feel like this concept of “quiet” is something I’m just barely scratching the surface of, like a puzzle. I’m finding pieces that fit and I’m starting to see the image but there is so much still missing.
I do know our world feels louder than ever and my world is the loudest its ever been. The constant streams of communication are overwhelming – multiple email accounts and facebook and instagram and comments and direct messages and twitter (I always forget to check twitter), etc, etc. There are so many unsolicited opinions coming my way and it is, quiet honestly, exhausting. {And, please hear my heart: so, so many of the comments and messages are overwhelmingly kind and encouraging. The harsh ones are so few but they are so very loud}.
That same commentary says that trusting God’s promise means rest. When we trust God, we don’t have to strive for ourselves. We don’t have “to run about trying to protect or guard ourselves. We have the best Protector, the best Guard in God. We can rest in Him, and when we do, it shows we are really trusting in His promises.”
One of my favorite quotes (and I don’t know who originally said it but I’ve had it written in so many of my journal entries over the years) is, “there is no person walking this earth more powerful than a child of God boldly and properly trusting the promise of the Living God.”
May we all remember, when the world simply feels too loud: In quietness and confidence is our strength.
Happy Advent, friends.
