Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

she’s almost here! {baby charlotte}.

It’s been too long since my last Charlotte update. Things have been so busy and time has just gotten away from me.

Before I get into the update, I have to share THIS post from my friend, Lindsy. She summarized the situation with our Congolese children really well. This week, we are taking a collective deep breath from the advocacy campaign. Congress is on break and we are waiting for news that the letter signed by over 180 Congressmen and Senators was delivered to the President and Prime Minister of the DRC. The next plan of action is still forthcoming. In the meantime, we continue to pray that God will make a way. It is clear, now more than ever, that we need a miracle. We need Him to make the impossible possible.

The timing of this advocacy break is perfect, as I am now on bed rest again. As of Monday, I was having irregular contractions and was dilated a little less than 1 cm. According to Dr. D, Charlotte’s head is really low and he isn’t sure I’ll make it to my scheduled c-section on May 16th {my due date is actually May 23rd}. He isn’t concerned but we are hoping and praying that she will hold off for another week or two in order to keep on growing. But, thankfully, I am almost to a point where she is considered full-term! That is a miracle in and of itself. 🙂

More “weekly” pics… first set of photos HERE. {That red dress is SO comfortable… clearly, I wear it a lot. haha!}

I missed week 28 somehow?!

Ben added a little artwork to the chalkboard…not sure what that is exactly. It looks a little creepy…ha!

I’m feeling ready to meet this sweet girl. My friends and family have thrown more showers over the past month. I feel silly having a shower for my second pregnancy / fourth child but I have loved every moment celebrating this precious girl.

My friends that have been here with us for the past ten years threw me a little brunch “shower” last month. It was very low-key and absolutely perfect. We all had an excuse to get together and catch-up, which proves harder and harder to do as life gets fuller and busier.

The little cake pops matched Charlotte’s mobile so perfectly.

I’ll prove it to you. Cake pops…

And, mobile…
Am I right? Soooo cute. 
I’m so thankful for these girls. We have grown up together these past ten years… we have celebrated lots of weddings and babies together. We’ve had our share of laughter and tears and I am very blessed to have such a wonderful group of friends. 

Then, a couple of weeks ago, my sister-in-laws and friend, Marci, threw Charlotte another shower. We are spoiled.

The day was perfect. Great friends & family, yummy food, and adorable girl-y gifts…it was cuteness overload.

The decorations were perfect and have all made their way into the nursery decor.

The Marrs’ girlies…

Spoiled. Ridiculously spoiled.

I wish we would have taken a photo of everyone together. I am so blessed by all of these ladies!

And, a little family pic when my boys came to pick me up…

After the heads-up that Charlotte is not as keen on hanging out for another month as I would like, I decided I better get myself into gear. Bags are packed and the nursery is finished. Photos to come soon!

Well, technically, her bag and her gift to her brothers is packed. I’m still using all of the stuff I plan to pack… I’m having the hardest time figuring out what I’ll actually need. I was in the hospital for two months last time and never had a chance to pack a bag. So the whole “hospital bag” thing is foreign to me… any tips??

trust & hope.

My parents were here this week for a quick visit. We had a wonderful week and time passed all too quickly, as always. They drove up and brought all of the goodies I received at my recent surprise shower for Charlotte in Florida.

While they were here, we worked to get the disaster that was the girls’ room into some semblance of order.

Why, yes. This is a nursery and toddler bedroom. Isn’t it beautiful? Go, on. Pin it. I wouldn’t mind at all if you use this as inspiration for your own little girl’s room…

There will be no “room reveal” photos in this post. It’s still a major work-in-progress. But, we are getting closer.

We spent hours sorting, organizing, washing and hanging adorable little-bitty girlie-girl clothes…

{Yes, you may also want to use the below photo as inspiration for a major landscaping project. As you can clearly see out the windows, we have been hard at work creating a serene garden landscape out there…ha!}

Anyone that has ever prepared for a newborn knows that this is all very exciting. Holding up the little clothes and imaging that an actual person will be wearing these ridiculously adorable frocks very soon is incredibly fun. The fact that this precious one is a complete miracle that we never could have imagined in our wildest dreams makes it all that more special.

Yet, it was there.

That ever-present ache.

We had to move our S’s clothes out of the closet to fit Charlotte’s vast wardrobe and newborn gear. We boxed up many of the adorable outfits we had for our S because she has already outgrown them.

While it’s amazing to wrap my mind around the fact that we will have another little girl to wear these clothes someday, it doesn’t make my heart hurt any less for all that we have missed with our oldest daughter. And, mostly, all that she has missed. All of the loneliness and pain and loss that she has experienced in her short life… none of that can be filled with a cute room or clothes or toys, I know that and I would never even imply that it could… but what about the love of family? Or, trust? Or, security? Or, laughter?

Several times over the past few days, I have been overwhelmed with doubt and fear. Suddenly finding myself facing IF she will come home, rather than WHEN.

I had to make a very concentrated effort to turn my eyes back to the One Who is the author of this story.

I have to stand on Truth. I have to trust that He is not written the last page.

Renewed hope seeped into my aching heart this morning through these life-breathing words…

Great is his faithfulness. His mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him.” The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him. {Lamentations 3: 23-25}

For surely you have a future ahead of you; your hope will not be disappointed. {Proverbs 23:18}

So I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in him. May you overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. {Romans 15:13}

Precious friends, whatever mountain you are facing, whatever fear you are fighting, whatever grief you are walking through; it is my prayer that His mercies will refresh your heart today. They are real. He is real. He is wholly, completely and wonderfully good. Trusting Him at His Word with you.

baby charlotte {an update}

29 weeks.

Today, I am officially 29 weeks pregnant with lil’ Charlotte!

This may not seem like much of a milestone, yet it is a big one. During my pregnancy with the boys, I was air-lifted to Little Rock due to active and quickly progressing labor on the exact day I reached 29 weeks.

So, here I am. Feet up, typing this post, feeling Charli kicking inside and feeling grateful. I had my last appointment with my high-risk doc yesterday and, although he still believes she will try to come early, all is well for now. She is growing and healthy and all of her parts are forming perfectly. I love ultrasounds… a sneak peek at this little person inside. She was hiding her face yesterday but we were able to confirm that she is head down, has all four chambers of her heart, has great blood flow to her heart and cord, spinal cord looks perfect, and fluid levels are holding strong. She weighs 2 lbs 14 ounces {clearly a mistake, she has to weigh at least 15 lbs by now… why else is that number on the scale continuing to rise?!?!}. My cervical length is shorter than average {being a natural over-achiever, this fact annoys me…who wants a short cervix? bummer} but it hasn’t shortened over the course of the last month and that is a good sign.

We also confirmed that she loves her sleep, just like momma. A girl after my own heart. 🙂 She kept kicking the ultrasound wand-thingy {official medical terminology} because we were disturbing her beauty rest. Clearly, she has a little spunk.

Earlier this week, I had my glucose screening {and may have passed out when they tried four times to draw blood}, received my rhogam injection and I continue to get weekly doses of progesterone shot into my booty. The things we do for our kiddos… I’ll hold all of this over her head until she graduates college.

Although this particular season of life is what I have affectionately termed “INSANE!!!,” I am trying to rest as much as possible. We are now in full moving mode which is super fun when you’re seven months pregnant. We haven’t moved the “big” stuff but have driven over dozens of car loads of boxes to the farmhouse to get somewhat settled before we take the full plunge. It is never-ending. I feel like we have moved and/or donated sooooo much, yet, we still have a house full. How is that possible?!!

Anyhoo… we have piles of baby clothes, blankets, and toys that need to be organized and put away. Currently, they are loaded into closets and the doors remain closed. My parents are headed up in a couple of weeks and I have already warned my mom that she is going to be put to work when she arrives. Nesting is kicking in and this move is throwing it all off kilter.

While in Florida last week, my family and friends surprised me with a baby shower for Charlotte. I was completely surprised and incredibly annoyed that no one told me to take a shower or put on a normal outfit. Ridiculous. 🙂 Yet, it was such a sweet evening celebrating this little miracle girl.

You guys. This. This was my reaction. I actually rolled my eyes. Am I thirteen?!?! Hahahahaha. Despite the red eye’d pic, I had to share this one because it.cracks.me.up. Clearly, my outward expressions of gratitude are overflowing here…
And, here I am telling my mom that I didn’t paint my toenails and am wearing flip flops. It’s winter, for Pete’s sake. Who paints their toenails in the winter?? The flip flops threw me off. 

Honestly, my heart was very heavy that day. Dave was in Congo at the time visiting our S and reports back were not positive. She was sick and Dave was getting nowhere trying to find any information on what we could do to get her home for treatment. It was a stay-in-bed-and-cry kind of day.

So, the surprise shower took me completely off-guard. It was a tangible reminder of the way joy can seep in right alongside sorrow. Although my heart ached to be celebrating the upcoming arrival of both of our beloved daughters, it was a beautiful evening honoring this little life God is intricately weaving and preparing for the world.

My friend, Brandy, couldn’t make it in for the shower, so she sent a photo instead.
Of the two of us in fourth grade. Nice. Reason #15,000,222 why we are friends. 

We played “The Price is Right” and I had every, single price wrong. Clearly, I’m not used to buying baby things. 

Here, you can see Debbie and April laughing at my belly. Or, at the gigantic spot on my “dress” {it’s my bathing suit cover-up, people! I wore a bathing suit cover-up to my baby shower}! I didn’t realize there was a huge spot there until looking through these photos. Awesome. 
Have I told y’all that my younger sister is preggo too?! She is 3 weeks and 15 lbs behind me. She is also having a little girl so my mom is over the moon. For some reason, everyone wanted us to put our bellies together for pictures all week. My belly wins. Go Charlotte!!
{And, yes, there are more spots on my “dress”… I think it’s the lighting…}
I’m reprimanding April and Debbie is laughing… what is happening here?!? 
Oh. My. WORD. My crazy-talented friend {and college roomie}, made this gorgeous gown for Charlotte! Now, she has a “going home from the hospital” outfit to wear!!! 
I took a Facebook poll and was overwhelming convinced that the Rock n’ Play will change my life. I’m holding you all to this.  
Sweet book from Nana. Yes, yes, He does. 🙂
Elise also made a gorgeous blanket for S and monogrammed hair bows {who knew?!} for both girls. LOVE these gifts soooo much. 

What a night! Thank you all for “showering” {hehe! see what I did there?!} Charlotte and I in so much love {and adorableness… baby girl clothes are seriously, ridiculously cute}!!!!!! I love you all!!!!

*And, a big thank you to Aunt Kelly for the photos! 🙂