Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

Sunday is on the way.

This morning, I read the post I wrote on Good Friday a year ago. At that time, our daughter was sick and I sat here, broken, aching to be there.

Here I am. Another year has passed and I’m still half a world away. And, once again, I’m broken and aching to be there holding her. Friends visiting have told me she isn’t feeling well again. I can hardly wrap my mind around any of this pain. Knowing all of the moments that I am missing out on… the mundane and the beautiful moments of parenting. All of them, out of my grasp.

My words from last year ring just as true today…

“On this, the darkest day in the history of mankind, I am feeling utterly broken. I am longing for my Jesus like never before.

As we place the cross on our Lent tree and reflect on His sacrifice, I sit speechless and raw before my King.

Today, our daughter is sick half a world away. She was diagnosed with severe malaria, typhoid fever, giardia and a respiratory infection. I am immensely grateful that she is in a hospital where she will receive treatment for at least the next three days before returning to her orphanage. Yet, I am helpless to comfort her. I am helpless to care for her. I am helpless to calm her fears. My heart is aching and shattered.

Today, I have glimpsed a unique component of the crucifixion story. I can identify like never before with the heart of Mary. As she watched on as her perfect and spotless son was tortured and crucified, I can only imagine that she was helpless, aching, and shattered. She knew since that first meeting with the angel, that this day would come. She knew He was never really hers. She knew He was the Son of God, the Savior and King for all. Yet, her heart was that of a momma. I can assume that her heart looked on with fierce love as her baby was hurting and her arms longed to reach out and wrap Him in her embrace. To provide comfort. To protect Him from the pain.

I have sat in transfixed awe as my Jesus has shown me the beauty of His love over and over again during the course of this adoption. He has shown me that I can love someone not of my flesh with every fiber of my being. He has shown me that His heart breaks with the oppressed. He has shown me that He can make all things beautiful and He can heal brokenness and pain. He has shown me that He defends justice and mercy. He has shown me that His love for me is given freely. He has shown me that I am His daughter, adopted into the family of Christ. And, today, He has shown me that the hurt and the pain of this day is as fresh and real today as it was two thousand years ago.

I have these words from my Savior on my heart today…

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” {John 17: 33}

“I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one.” {John 17: 15; emphasis mine}

I’m reminded that, like those who sat at the table breaking bread with their teacher and friend dumbfounded as He tried to explain that He would be poured out for them, I am unable to see beyond the hurt. I cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end {Ecclesiastes 4:11}.

Therefore, all of my hope rests in the One who poured out His own life as an offering to cover my sins, my brokenness, my hurt.

My hope. My Savior. My King.”

Every fear and sorrow of Friday became tears of joy on Sunday, so if your life feels like a dark Friday, hang on, Sunday is on the way. – Jennifer Rothschild

in the dark.

On this, the darkest day in the history of mankind, I am feeling utterly broken. I am longing for my Jesus like never before.

As we place the cross on our Lent tree and reflect on His sacrifice, I sit speechless and raw before my King.

Today, our daughter is sick half a world away. She was diagnosed with severe malaria, typhoid fever, giardia and a respiratory infection. I am immensely grateful that she is in a hospital where she will receive treatment for at least the next three days before returning to her orphanage. Yet, I am helpless to comfort her. I am helpless to care for her. I am helpless to calm her fears. My heart is aching and shattered.

Today, I have glimpsed a unique component of the crucifixion story. I can identify like never before with the heart of Mary. As she watched on as her perfect and spotless son was tortured and crucified, I can only imagine that she was helpless, aching, and shattered. She knew since that first meeting with the angel, that this day would come. She knew He was never really hers. She knew He was the Son of God, the Savior and King for all. Yet, her heart was that of a momma. I can assume that her heart looked on with fierce love as her baby was hurting and her arms longed to reach out and wrap Him in her embrace. To provide comfort. To protect Him from the pain.

I have sat in transfixed awe as my Jesus has shown me the beauty of His love over and over again during the course of this adoption. He has shown me that I can love someone not of my flesh with every fiber of my being. He has shown me that His heart breaks with the oppressed. He has shown me that He can make all things beautiful and He can heal brokenness and pain. He has shown me that He defends justice and mercy. He has shown me that His love for me is given freely. He has shown me that I am His daughter, adopted into the family of Christ. And, today, He has shown me that the hurt and the pain of this day is as fresh and real today as it was two thousand years ago.

I have these words from my Savior on my heart today…

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” {John 17: 33}

“I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one.” {John 17: 15; emphasis mine}

I’m reminded that, like those who sat at the table breaking bread with their teacher and friend dumbfounded as He tried to explain that He would be poured out for them, I am unable to see beyond the hurt. I cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end {Ecclesiastes 4:11}.

Therefore, all of my hope rests in the One who poured out His own life as an offering to cover my sins, my brokenness, my hurt.

My hope. My Savior. My King.

Every fear and sorrow of Friday became tears of joy on Sunday, so if your life feels like a dark Friday, hang on, Sunday is on the way. – Jennifer Rothschild

True Love is This…

I feel like my life has been moving past me at 100 miles an hour this past week and I just can’t seem to keep up with everything. It seems like I am going to drop all of the balls that I’m so carefully juggling all the time. Honestly, this week has left me feeling overwhelmed and defeated. (And cranky and irritable and short-tempered).

I have been looking forward to today all week because I have the day off (with a completely clear calendar until the evening  — which NEVER happens). I had planned to get caught up with snuggles and laughter with the boys. And, the never-ending “to do” list of laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, adoption paperwork, bills…

I had also planned to blog about our adventures last weekend in Florida and yesterday’s Easter egg hunt with sweet little friends. I really want to keep up to date with photos and happenings in our lives because I am using this as my journal for our family and I don’t want to forget all of the fun things we have been up to.

I will put that blog post off until another day because, this morning, God gently reminded me what the purpose of today is.

Today: Good Friday.

Today is the day we remember that Christ suffered through torture and humiliation. Then, He gave his beautiful, perfect, and holy life for you and I.

Sweet friends, do you have as hard a time wrapping your lil’ human mind around that as I do?

I can hardly grasp how Jesus could give Himself up for all of us. Why did it have to happen like that? Why did He sacrifice everything and become a defeated, broken body for us?

I have always wondered how God managed to hold himself back from opening the Heavens and lifting his sweet Jesus from that cross in order to remove him from the unbearable pain and heartache he was enduring on behalf of all of us earthly sinners. We are NOT worthy of that sacrifice.

But that is the point of it all, isn’t it? We are not worthy. We are LOVED.

Have you all read the book, “The Shack” by WM. Paul Young? (If not, I recommend it!)

Do you remember the section of the book when Mack was told to choose which two of his five children would spend eternity in “God’s new heavens and new earth” and which of his children would “spend eternity in hell”?

Do you remember what the judge told Mack as he started to panic at this thought?

She said, “I am only asking you to do something that you believe God does. He knows every person ever conceived, and he knows them so much deeper and clearer than you will ever know your own children. He loves each one according to his knowledge of the being of that son or daughter. You believe he will condemn most to an eternity of torment, away from His presence and apart from His love.”

After a little more discussion and panic about choosing among his own children, Mack finally screamed, “I can’t. I can’t. I won’t!”

Finally, he looked at the judge “pleading with his eyes” and said, “Could I go instead? If you need someone to torture for eternity, I’ll go in their place…” He then fell at her feet and cried and begged to go in place of his children.

She responded in a whisper, “Now you sound like Jesus.”

Reading this section of the book opened my eyes a little further to the depth of Jesus’ love for me. For each of us. 

If someone were to ask me to choose an eternity in hell for either of my boys, I would not hesitate for a second; I would instantly beg and plead to take their place. To cover their transgressions with my love. I would do anything to protect them.

And, I am just a human with human flaws and human limitations. These are my children. They can mess up, they can make me angry, they can turn from me. But they will NEVER lose my love.

I look at these faces and I am filled with joy. Filled to the brim with overflowing love.

And, isn’t it incredible to know that God feels that way about us? But in a MUCH bigger way. In a way that we will probably never be able to comprehend while living in this flesh.

Blessings to you all on this beautiful day!