worn.
so, you guys, dave and i are in the midst of an intense battle with our mailman.
i feel like i’m living in an episode of Seinfeld {instead of the soup nazi, he is the mail nazi}. today, i actually ran after him, literally chasing him down the road like a complete lunatic as he drove away in his little postal truck, ignoring me.
my sister in law lives next door to us. each day, we keep watch for the mailman to arrive. she tells me when he is leaving her house and i wait on his next move. 9 out of 10 times, he drives right past our house and doesn’t look in our direction. he hasn’t delivered our mail consistently in months.
this is all incredibly ridiculous {and just annoying}. i have to load the boys up in the car every few days and drive to the post office, unload them and go wait in line to pick up our mail and try to talk to the postmaster. he agrees to talk with the postman and to reinstate our mail delivery and we leave {likely due to the damage being inflicted on the post office by my rowdy boys. this is the only time that i completely ignore their bad behavior. i want that post office to see what sort of crazy they are dealing with. i want to remind them that they do not want me and the boys in that place every few days}.
we repeat the whole scenario again a few days later when our mail delivery abruptly stops again. for the love.
you must be wondering why on earth is all of this happening.
well, it all started with this fence.
and this {10-year-old} dog.
and, the time dave forgot to close the gate behind him when he left for the day. da da dunn…
bailey’s arch-enemy is the mailman. he barks ferociously {as ferociously as a 10-year-old sheltie can} whenever that little mail truck drives up. and, the one stinkin’ time the gate was open, he chased after that poor mailman. now, here we are. front and center on the mailman’s black list. we our public enemy #1.
I share this silly ongoing mail saga because it is a crazy reminder of the real warfare happening in our lives — the spiritual battles relentlessly attacking our family. this week alone: dave fell off a ladder cracking ribs and fracturing his wrist, he backed into a car with his truck, and, today, another major setback in our adoption progress — we found out that all of the court documents associated with our case need to be corrected. a major change to each and every document that now leaves us facing extended time frames before we can begin the US immigration stage of our process. the unknowns of the long-term impact of this mistake aren’t clear just yet but there is little doubt that our case will take longer than usual to process.
we are weary of the fight. our muscles are aching. our bodies are tired. our souls are longing for rest.
the lyrics of the song “worn” are so fitting…
I’m tired
I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I’m too week
Life just won’t let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
And my prayers are wearing thin
I’m worn even before the day begins
I’m worn I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn so heaven so come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
i don’t know what is to come but i do know that i’ll continue to wear my armor. i’ll continue to seek the One who knows what is coming. the One who isn’t the least bit surprised by the latest bump in the road. the One who is bigger and greater and mightier than all of these troubles. i’ll seek rest in Him alone. and, i’ll continue to pray that He is glorified in all that we endure on this journey. all of it — the desperate moments of suffering and the joyful moments of rejoicing in praise. He will not forsake us. He did not bring us this far to leave us now. i place my trust in Him alone.
Only God.
Don’t you just love it when God works in really fun ways just to show you how crazy about you He is?
I love how eloquently Ann Voskamp describes God’s pursuit of His children in a recent post…
Isn’t that beautiful?
His goodness pursues me.
This week, He showered me in His goodness through a friend whom He recently brought into my life. Leese has been such a blessing to me throughout the past year. She has been an encourager and an intense prayer warrior. Her strong faith has inspired me to see life differently and to marvel at the goodness of our God in all circumstances.
The past few days have been spent in hasty back and forth communication and coordination after she realized that her close friends will be very close to S’s orphanage during their upcoming mission trip to the DRC. They leave this Friday {as in, two days from now} so we have been frantically trying to ensure they have all of the information they need to connect with folks in country and try to visit S and her friends at the orphanage during their time there.
I ran around a bit yesterday putting together a small care package for our girl. A sweet little doll and another cute photo album {I don’t believe the first two ever made it to her} introducing her to Dave, the boys and I and telling her how much we love and adore her {with translations in Lingala for her caregivers to read to her}!
We are praying that God will create the time and the opportunity for Leese’s friends to visit S during their trip. They also have money to purchase food for the orphanage and will be in touch with Dr. L when they arrive to coordinate the logistics.
I just love how God has arranged all of this. Just when my heart was aching in a fresh way this week as I desperately called out to Him for favor in this process. To know that He is sending friends of someone so dear to love on our girl on our behalf just makes my heart smile.
I have to share some of Leese’s words from this week’s email exchanges and you’ll see why I just love her…
no way to make something happen it makes me determined to find a way to do it (well, you know, unless the someone is God!) –
between your stubbornness to be sure S gets loved on until she gets in your
arms, and my stubbornness to try to find ways to connect the people in my
‘world,’ I figure Congo’s going to want to get her out of there quickly because
they’re tired of all the visitors they’re having to entertain who come to check
on and provide for S. Ha ha ha.
my stubbornness to help you remember that there are lots of people praying for
your sweet little family and who are praying your princess home, too! You
guys aren’t in this alone – and hopefully the fun little things God works out
will help remind you of that and be boosts of encouragement for you on the days
that get long as you wait for S!
family is just so small sometimes…
He’s laid the groundwork for something years before but you don’t see come to
fruition until years or even decades later. God’s so fun…I love when He does things like this!”
Will you join me in praying that God will make a way for these two ladies to visit S during their time in her country? I’m praying that God goes before them and handles the logistics of the visit so that S and her friends can receive another helping of tangible goodness and love and mercy in the form of full bellies while being held in loving arms!
the keeper of a storehouse of snow.
Apparently, I’m a little slow to get it.
Last night, I softly heard that mysterious whisper of the Holy Spirit remind me of a lesson that I had already been taught. He brought these words to mind.
In fact, I could write that post from a cold March morning once more, word for word…
22“Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
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