remember this Archives - Page 10 of 16 - Blessings and Raindrops

March 13, 2014

in daddy’s arms {part 2}

Life is busy lately. But, it has also slowed. It’s a strange juxtaposition. I don’t quite know how to explain where we are right now. Slow and fast all at once. The move has thrown our schedules out of sync. We don’t have internet or TV at the farmhouse, so we are spending more time reading, talking, listening. We go on long walks when Dave gets home from work. We laugh. The boys color and I paint end tables. A new season has ushered in, a season of simplifying. Heart-changing. Re-focusing. Rest. Grace.

Meanwhile, I long to write down memories. Record moments. I have this desire to continually document where we are and what we are learning… things change so quickly, I don’t want to forget a single, sweet moment.

Before too much time passes, I want to document more of Dave’s recent trip to Congo. The precious time spent with our daughter was a gift. It feels like a dream now. Did he really go? It’s hard to believe that just a couple of weeks ago, she was in his arms.

Friday, February 21st

Before heading to the airport, we had breakfast together at Dave’s favorite – Dunkin’ Donuts.

This picture cracks me up. I’m not sure what Nate is up to and Ben’s expression is hilarious. I think the sugar is kicking in…

What? You mean, you don’t see Spiderman at DD too? Strange.

Prayers were answered with our new friend, Joyce, working that day and able to check Dave and all of his luggage through to Kinshasa.

We were given the gift of two extra hours together in the airport. Dave’s flight to Chicago was delayed and we were able to spend the time laughing, praying, running through the terminals and eating lunch together. Dave still made his connection to Brussels and we were all so grateful for the unexpected extra time with one another.

Saturday, February 22nd

Dave landed in Kinshasa and was able to get through customs and retrieve all of his luggage in less than an hour! This was a huge answered prayer and in stark contrast to our experience last time. After a reunion with Laure, Dave was able to call me and it was SO wonderful to hear his voice. I had been tracking his flights on my flight tracker app and we had exchanged a few text messages but it had been a very long couple of days.

Dave’s words from his journal…

“I finally landed in Kinshasa after a calm and normal flight and entered the craziness of Africa. There is no order in the lines and getting your luggage feels like a rat race. But it is an organized chaos. Everyone moves when you need your bag. It was great to get out in the parking lot to see Laure and even better to talk with Jenny and the boys.

We drove through the congested streets piled with trash, broken down cars and poverty to the likes of something I couldn’t even imagine before our first trip here. I couldn’t help but feel totally overwhelmed. Then, we arrived at Laure’s home. It truly is an oasis in the desert. The kids are smiling and happy, well fed and full of life.

Finally, I was able to hold our S. Jenny, how I wish you were here. I have never been more sure of anything – she is our daughter and she is absolutely perfect.”

Sunday, February 23rd

“I woke up this morning staring at a sleeping S. It was so peaceful and nice… We all played for a while and then we were off to church.

Piled in the van, on the way to church!

We arrived a little before 9 am and the little kids, including S, headed off to Sunday School. We sit, sing a few songs and I am thinking this is just going to be a service I can’t understand in French. But, it wasn’t like anything I’ve ever experienced before. Everyone gets into the service- shouting for joy, praying out loud while pacing back and forth, shaking homemade tambourines and whistles – all during the service as they feel led. After the offering (you walk up in front of the crowd and place your money in the offering plate, no passing the plate!), Laure leaves to go up in front and sing. I’m not a little concerned because I don’t know if I’m supposed to stand, sit, sing, wave my hands, what?!

Luckily, I was paying attention because I understood the word “American” when the preacher said it and everyone turned to me and smiled and laughed. I waved and then the service continued for the next three and a half hours…

Turns out, they were studying Ephesians 2 and the sermon was about putting your trust in God completely and He will always be with you and never fail you. The preacher used me as an example…how our family has put our trust in God and He led us to our daughter. Even though it seems impossible, and there are so many obstacles in our way, God will make a way and will never fail us.

I guess what I learned from all of this is a new way to worship. Many of the people in this service have nothing, but at the same time, they are so spiritually rich. Each uses their God-given talents {drums, whistles, singing, prayer} to give all they have to our Lord. They worship Him with a fever. You can see it in their faces and hear it in their voices.

…Later that night, we were able to FaceTime… it was so wonderful to see your face and hear your voice. And, to see your face when you talked to S – just amazing! I just wish the boys could have seen her {they were napping}. She is getting such a personality. You would just love her. She’s a feisty one. She really likes me when I’m cleaning her face and hands.”

Monday, February 24th

“I woke up today to the kids singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Laure. It was a crazy, chaotic morning getting 12 kids ready and 6 of them out the door for school. After the older kids left, I was able to just relax with the younger foster children. I also got to feed S eggs and she loved them. She smiled at me and ate. That girl is after my heart and she owns it.”

Dave also visited the orphanage on Monday… there is so much to share about his time there and the work that has been done with Feed Their Tummies. I will share another post on all of the exciting things God has been doing with this program soon.

Tuesday, February 25th

Sleeping on the cool tile floor.

After a long day visiting with officials at the U.S. Embassy and friends staying in Kinshasa, they arrive home to find all of the kids outside because the power is out again and it is pitch dark inside the house.

“I’m bitter, thinking to myself: another day without nearly as much time as I wanted with S. But, she is sleeping so I get to hold her without a protest. What happened next showed me how much God is in the lives of this family. They started praising God with blackness all around. Laure and the girls and young boys were singing, her brothers were praying out loud and I was holding my precious daughter, saying a silent prayer of gratitude.

…During this adoption process I seem to have failed miserably in singing my praises to the Lord, I seem to only focus on asking Him: why, why, why? Blaming Him for not changing hearts or moving mountains.

I need to remember that He is a Father just like me. He loves me, with all of my faults, just as I am. Just as I love Ben, Nathan, and S. He wants to celebrate my successes with me and share in my grief when I am suffering.

I went to bed that night with S sleeping next to me. I sat and watched her in the dark and thanked God for these few precious moments a father gets to spend with his daughter.

My last thoughts before going to bed were mixed. I felt great sorrow that I most likely would not be bringing my daughter home. I also felt very thankful and blessed that I would get to spend my 35th birthday with my beautiful daughter in a loving home, halfway across the world.”

Wednesday, February 26th

“The kids woke me early with a Congolese rendition of ‘Happy Birthday.’ It was so thoughtful. I also received four gifts that I will treasure always – a Congolese shirt from Laure, two Congolese bracelets from Sylvia, sandals and a bag from Meme and a homemade hot pads from Grace. These gifts will always be very precious to me.

I then did something I should have done on day one: I opened a package of balloons. S laughed and smiled at me for over an hour as we played with an entire package of balloons. I thought my lungs were going to explode as I probably blew up and deflated balloons a couple hundred times. But, I wasn’t stopping. I had a break-through with my daughter and she even looked at me and called me ‘Papa.’ BEST Birthday Present I have ever gotten!!!!!! Man, I love that little girl.

We played together while we cooked lunch and she was exhausted so I started packing up and getting ready to go. That’s when she started to shut down again. I think she knew I was leaving and didn’t want to give me any more of herself. I felt absolutely awful. It felt like a cruel joke – I was able to love on her and play with her for five precious days and, now, I had to return home without her.

I loaded up my bags and kissed her from her daddy and mommy. I told her how very much we loved her and that we would be back just as soon as we could to take her home. I hope and pray that part of her understood why I had to leave.

The emotions started at the airport…at first, it was mostly defeat and anger. What kind of father goes to visit his child and comes home without her? I felt like a complete failure. It was such a relief to talk on the phone with Jenny and the boys. After talking with them, I realized that this trip was a blessed one and I truly believe it has paved the way for great things to come.”

One of many photos of laughter and encouragement we sent to daddy from home.

I saw God before me all the time. Nothing can shake me, He’s right by my side. I’m glad from the inside out, ecstatic. I’ve pitched my tent in the land of hope. {Acts 2:25 MSG}

March 7, 2014

baby charlotte {an update}

29 weeks.

Today, I am officially 29 weeks pregnant with lil’ Charlotte!

This may not seem like much of a milestone, yet it is a big one. During my pregnancy with the boys, I was air-lifted to Little Rock due to active and quickly progressing labor on the exact day I reached 29 weeks.

So, here I am. Feet up, typing this post, feeling Charli kicking inside and feeling grateful. I had my last appointment with my high-risk doc yesterday and, although he still believes she will try to come early, all is well for now. She is growing and healthy and all of her parts are forming perfectly. I love ultrasounds… a sneak peek at this little person inside. She was hiding her face yesterday but we were able to confirm that she is head down, has all four chambers of her heart, has great blood flow to her heart and cord, spinal cord looks perfect, and fluid levels are holding strong. She weighs 2 lbs 14 ounces {clearly a mistake, she has to weigh at least 15 lbs by now… why else is that number on the scale continuing to rise?!?!}. My cervical length is shorter than average {being a natural over-achiever, this fact annoys me…who wants a short cervix? bummer} but it hasn’t shortened over the course of the last month and that is a good sign.

We also confirmed that she loves her sleep, just like momma. A girl after my own heart. 🙂 She kept kicking the ultrasound wand-thingy {official medical terminology} because we were disturbing her beauty rest. Clearly, she has a little spunk.

Earlier this week, I had my glucose screening {and may have passed out when they tried four times to draw blood}, received my rhogam injection and I continue to get weekly doses of progesterone shot into my booty. The things we do for our kiddos… I’ll hold all of this over her head until she graduates college.

Although this particular season of life is what I have affectionately termed “INSANE!!!,” I am trying to rest as much as possible. We are now in full moving mode which is super fun when you’re seven months pregnant. We haven’t moved the “big” stuff but have driven over dozens of car loads of boxes to the farmhouse to get somewhat settled before we take the full plunge. It is never-ending. I feel like we have moved and/or donated sooooo much, yet, we still have a house full. How is that possible?!!

Anyhoo… we have piles of baby clothes, blankets, and toys that need to be organized and put away. Currently, they are loaded into closets and the doors remain closed. My parents are headed up in a couple of weeks and I have already warned my mom that she is going to be put to work when she arrives. Nesting is kicking in and this move is throwing it all off kilter.

While in Florida last week, my family and friends surprised me with a baby shower for Charlotte. I was completely surprised and incredibly annoyed that no one told me to take a shower or put on a normal outfit. Ridiculous. 🙂 Yet, it was such a sweet evening celebrating this little miracle girl.

You guys. This. This was my reaction. I actually rolled my eyes. Am I thirteen?!?! Hahahahaha. Despite the red eye’d pic, I had to share this one because it.cracks.me.up. Clearly, my outward expressions of gratitude are overflowing here…

And, here I am telling my mom that I didn’t paint my toenails and am wearing flip flops. It’s winter, for Pete’s sake. Who paints their toenails in the winter?? The flip flops threw me off.

Honestly, my heart was very heavy that day. Dave was in Congo at the time visiting our S and reports back were not positive. She was sick and Dave was getting nowhere trying to find any information on what we could do to get her home for treatment. It was a stay-in-bed-and-cry kind of day.

So, the surprise shower took me completely off-guard. It was a tangible reminder of the way joy can seep in right alongside sorrow. Although my heart ached to be celebrating the upcoming arrival of both of our beloved daughters, it was a beautiful evening honoring this little life God is intricately weaving and preparing for the world.

My friend, Brandy, couldn’t make it in for the shower, so she sent a photo instead.
Of the two of us in fourth grade. Nice. Reason #15,000,222 why we are friends.

We played “The Price is Right” and I had every, single price wrong. Clearly, I’m not used to buying baby things.

Here, you can see Debbie and April laughing at my belly. Or, at the gigantic spot on my “dress” {it’s my bathing suit cover-up, people! I wore a bathing suit cover-up to my baby shower}! I didn’t realize there was a huge spot there until looking through these photos. Awesome.

Have I told y’all that my younger sister is preggo too?! She is 3 weeks and 15 lbs behind me. She is also having a little girl so my mom is over the moon. For some reason, everyone wanted us to put our bellies together for pictures all week. My belly wins. Go Charlotte!!
{And, yes, there are more spots on my “dress”… I think it’s the lighting…}

I’m reprimanding April and Debbie is laughing… what is happening here?!?

Oh. My. WORD. My crazy-talented friend {and college roomie}, made this gorgeous gown for Charlotte! Now, she has a “going home from the hospital” outfit to wear!!!

I took a Facebook poll and was overwhelming convinced that the Rock n’ Play will change my life. I’m holding you all to this.

Sweet book from Nana. Yes, yes, He does. 🙂

Elise also made a gorgeous blanket for S and monogrammed hair bows {who knew?!} for both girls. LOVE these gifts soooo much.

What a night! Thank you all for “showering” {hehe! see what I did there?!} Charlotte and I in so much love {and adorableness… baby girl clothes are seriously, ridiculously cute}!!!!!! I love you all!!!!

*And, a big thank you to Aunt Kelly for the photos! 🙂

February 17, 2014

the farmhouse. {the big move }

If you have been reading this blog or following my Instagram photos for any length of time, you know that we have this incredible old farmhouse that we have been in the process of renovating for the past fifty thousand years. Okay, it’s been a year. I tend to exaggerate… forgive me. It feels like fifty thousand years of renovation, that’s all.

This 100+ year old house was originally located in our town’s downtown historic district. A little over a year ago, it was planned to be demolished to make way for a new parking lot.

Dave and I had an affinity for this quirky old house and just could not bare to see it knocked to the ground. Dave started researching and eventually convinced me that it was possible to move the house. {I still thought he was off his rocker crazy but agreed to his plan to pick up the house and move it… who does that?!}.

City restrictions prohibited moving a house from one spot in the city limits to another. The obvious question here is, “how did they ever come up with such a law? Was there a surplus of families moving houses all around at some point in our town’s history?” No idea. But, lucky for us, the restriction forced us to move the house out to the land Dave had purchased years ago. He originally bought this land not knowing what we would ever do with it but suddenly we had a vision – this would be the place where our little family would retreat from all of the world’s busyness and distractions.

Sooo… in December of 2012, we moved the house.

Apparently, when you move a house, you have to lift it off the ground first. And, remove portions that make it too wide to fit down the street, as in the extra room that was on the side of the house.

Don’t worry, friends. The green cast-iron bathtub finds it’s way back into the house.

There was an abundance of helpers willing to operate the heavy equipment {in the form of two year old boys}.

Oh, did I forget to mention that the roof had to be removed? So, yes. They had to remove the roof. And, put it back on after the move. No big deal.

Prepping the house for the move took about a month. The actual moving day lasted for hours… starting very early in the morning.

It was hilarious watching this house drive down the street.

Dave was on cloud 9.

Oh, right. We had to drive through our neighbor’s field because the house wouldn’t fit down the dirt road. Luckily, the neighbor was as excited as a five-year-old boy just like Dave and loved watching this happen.

This neighbor was not so sure…

Fashion statement. Waking up at 4 am to follow a house down the road for several hours does not lend itself to caring what you have on.

After the initial move, the house had to be placed on the foundation that was prepped earlier and then pieced back together. Next up, the entire inside needed to be gutted and the real work was ready to begin.

I’m excited to share more photos of the renovation with you all and will be doing so over the next couple of weeks. Stay tuned… this was certainly a labor of love. We aren’t finished yet, but we are finally getting close!!!

January 6, 2014

snow. and sun.

Dave just called to say that the water tank is frozen and we don’t have hot water in the master bedroom shower or kitchen sink. As a Floridian who wound up living in NW Arkansas {where the temperatures are usually fairly mild}, I had no idea this could even happen. And, let’s be honest, I’m grateful the boys and I decided to stay in Florida for an extra week.

They’re not laughing at you, daddy, they’re laughing with you….

Even though I spent yesterday leisurely reading a book under the warm Florida sun while the boys dug “a garden” {aka- a sand pit} in my parent’s backyard {you’re welcome, dad}, I have to share a few photos from our big snowstorm last month. These photos are to sympathize with all of our friends back home enduring this second big winter storm {this never happens in NW Arkansas, by the way, crazy!}.

My dad looks angry in this picture for some reason. ha! The boys had a blast with Papa riding around the neighborhood on a four-wheeler. Completely normal.

I’d hate to rub in the fact that I didn’t have to put on fifteen layers to walk out the door, so, instead, I’ll look back on our fun in the snow. And, when I say fun, I mean the boys had a blast up until the point where snow snuck into a glove or onto a cheek. At which point, we had to frantically rush inside to strip off the gazillion layers {I know, it was fifteen earlier but it felt like a gazillion at this point} as fast as possible {which is not easy when you are by yourself — did I mention Dave was out of town that weekend snowmobiling with friends? — and there are two screaming 3 year-olds demanding immediate attention}. After the offensive snow gear was removed, the boys would race over to the fire to warm up their hands and faces. And, I’d be remiss to forget to tell you that this is a real wood burning fire – one that I had to keep going all weekend by myself – can we talk about stress and pressure? if the fire went out…how would we complete this song and dance?

{And, mostly, I finally have my computer back and am having fun walking down memory lane from the past two months as I upload all of these pictures off my camera}.