Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

the beach. memories to be made.

We’ve made it back at the beach. Back to the same house where we created so many memories together last year.

When we booked this vacation almost a year ago, we were certain that S would be home and this would be our first vacation together as a family of five. We were apprehensive about booking because we had no idea exactly when she would be home and if it would be too soon for a trip to the beach.

To be honest, it hasn’t been easy to be here now without her. I had so many images in my mind of what this week would look like. S and the boys playing together in the sand and surf for the first time as brothers and sister. Moments of bonding and trust forming. Joy and celebration.

Yet, I’m learning to embrace the story God has written for me and my family. Learning to rest in His timing and trust His sovereignty. Knowing that my plans are never something to boast about. Instead, trusting in His plans – which are far greater than I could ever imagine.

And, so, we are soaking up this week. This last vacation together as a family of four. This time with Nana’s and Papa’s – all four of them – together with us under this roof.

We are swimming in the rain.

We are laughing and slowing down.

The boys are digging in the sand…they cannot get enough. A little rain can’t stop them.

We’re dancing. Enjoying these precious moments together.

To be given a week together, away from the business and messiness and trappings of everyday life, is a blessing. We are soaking it in this week.

a weekend in brugge.

As we were booking our trip to the Congo, a friend recommended we stop on the way home for a long layover in order to give us time to take a deep breath and reflect on all that happened during our stay. {And, to rest before stepping back into the busyness of life}.

This was the absolute best advice. Originally, we were really worried about extending our trip…it meant more time away from the boys and more money spent on a hotel room somewhere else. In the end, the flight cost was the same and we found a great deal on a hotel from Priceline and we were so thankful we decided to stop. It was completely worth the extra few days away.

Our layover was in Brussels but we decided to take the train and spend the weekend in nearby Brugge. We chose Brugge because it is smaller, quieter and more quaint than Brussels {& ridiculously charming, in our opinion).

When we booked this trip, we knew that the last thing we would want to do is sightsee or spend time in a crowded city.

Brugge was perfect.

After a long morning getting really sick in the Brussels airport and passing out on the train to Brugge {it was as lovely as it sounds, trust me}, we made it to our hotel and I mercifully took my first hot shower in a week. I then proceeded to soak in a hot bath. I have never felt more pampered in my life.

Let me just stop now and give you a full recap of our weekend …

…we ate, we showered, we slept, we cried, we laughed, we reminisced and shared our favorite memories of S, we walked on every road in the city, and we ate some more. The end. 

See? Perfection.

Photo proof of the perfection …

Coffee? One of my favorite things. And, who knew that, in Brugge, serving coffee is an art form…and,  it is always served with chocolate. Amen and amen.

Italian Food? Another one of my favorite things. I really, really wanted this layover to be in Rome {my favorite city on earth} but, alas, Brugge brought a little Roma to me. Grazie, Brugge! 

Evidenced by the above, Dave enjoyed his Belgian beer while I cried tears of joy into my pasta…



Chocolate? Do I even need to elaborate, here? We were in BELGIUM. Belgium = Chocolate. I felt like I was in a living, breathing version of Willy Wonka’s factory. I kept glancing over my shoulder looking for little orange guys singing creepy songs.

Waffles? I had the misconception that “Belgium Waffles” were sort of like “French Fries.” I honestly have no idea if french fries have anything to do with France. {I could google it but I’m just too lazy to go through the effort}. So, I was beside myself to find waffle stands everywhere in this city. And, not just any plain jane Waffle House waffle. These waffles were light and airy and sweet… it felt like I was eating a cloud topped with sugar and chocolate.

Waffles in Brugge were the equivalent to Gelato in Italy or Crepes with Nutella & Banana in Paris for me. As in, I ate them all day, every day. I would argue that I ate my weight in waffles {but only took photos of Dave eating them, so there really isn’t evidence. Bahahaha}.

Laundry? Never in my life would I think that I would cry at the sight of a washer machine. Or, that I would put my head in the dryer to soak in the smell of freshly laundered clothes. I just never saw that one coming. But, I had never smelt clothes like ours after leaving the Congo before. I will not elaborate on the smell but I will tell you that this laundromat was a happy place for me.

Incredible scenery? Beautiful old buildings? Gorgeous cathedrals? Church services that brought tears to my eyes even when I couldn’t understand a word? Check and check. Brugge delivered. 




Spiritual moments? Love letters from my Savior when my heart was suffering? Absolutely.

Sitting at dinner on our first night in Brugge, I couldn’t hold back the tears as we dreamed about what S was doing thousands of miles away as we sat there at a little table in a little cafe in a little town in Belgium. I felt the urge to look up through my tears, and I saw this rainbow. A sweet reminder that God will bring beauty out of this pain.

Sweet note in Dave’s Bible {The Message translation} …

All in all, it was a perfect weekend for our aching hearts. We were able to breathe deeply and grieve together before heading back to life at home without our daughter.

And, another surprise was in store for us on our way back to the US. Remember Joyce? Somehow, she found a way to get us upgraded on our flight to Chicago! It was INCREDIBLE. We felt like royalty and laughed the entire time at how obvious it was that we didn’t really belong up there. We thanked God for loving on us… in the form of lay-flat seats and gourmet meals with wine pairings and a little toiletry kit and comfy socks and a quilt {that I really wanted to stuff into my backpack but didn’t – Dave said it would be embarrassing}. Truly, I almost forgot about my fear of flying. You may think I’m crazy to think that God arranged this upgrade but I know He did. He loves us that much. These details…they are reminders of how lavishly we are loved by the King of Kings.

 What a trip! {And, I kicked myself the entire time because I didn’t bring my “good” camera…note to self: just bring it next time} :).

Max.

This weekend was really, really hard. And, it was really, really incredible too. I’m a little overwhelmed by the sorrow and the celebration and how they were so muddled together this weekend.

God was faithful in mighty ways this weekend. I will tell you all about it soon.

Today, I want to share about the sorrow we carried so heavily these past couple of days. We found out early Saturday morning that our best pal, our pup Max, passed away at the Vet’s office {where he was being observed because he wasn’t feeling well}. I think that one of my biggest regrets will now be that we didn’t push back and insist that he come home. The reality that he wasn’t home for his last few days on earth {we brought him in on Thursday thinking he would stay for the day but they wanted him to stay for observation each day and thought he would be able to come home on Saturday afternoon because he was improving each day} is so hard to swallow.

headed to the vet clinic late monday night…

He would have been 10 on November 25th. He had aged and slowed down recently but he was still so full of life and his passing was sudden and unexpected. Dave and I have grieved hard. We have had shed so many tears and have felt like our world was rocked. To be honest, we were both surprised by how heartbroken and grief-stricken we were. Some would say “he was just a dog” but I am telling you that he was so, so much more than that. He was a part of this family and we loved and cherished him.

In February of 2004, Dave and I spotted Max among a litter of little squeaky lab/beagle pups at the animal shelter. He was spunky and had huge paws. We could see right away that he had personality.

I could go on and on about how Max has impacted our lives. I have so many memories that include him…he brought so much joy to our family. He was the first to console me when I was upset. He was the first to jump and cry for joy when we came walked through the door {whether we had been gone for five minutes or five hours}. He loved us fiercely. He loved the boys fiercely and felt it was his duty to protect them. Bedtime has been really hard not having him lay at our feet during stories and snuggle in between the boys’ beds when they lay down for the night.

His presence in our home is missed so much. I don’t have the words today to share more because I’m just tired. I’m sad and still reeling from his loss.

At the little burial we had for our sweet boy, I thanked God for showing us a little more of his heart through Max. He gave us a way to see selflessness, unwavering love and devotion and joy in action.

This afternoon, the boys wanted to read “Clifford, the Big Red Dog” again and they always like we when change Clifford’s name to “Max.” During the story, Ben stopped me and said, “Mommy, Max isn’t here anymore. He is in Heaven with Grandma.”

Oh, sweet boy. My eyes welled up again with the tears that seem unending. I believe he is right. God promises that Heaven will be a perfect place and I couldn’t imagine it without our Max welcoming us with his wagging tail and unending kisses.

just for fun.

dave has a reward program through one of the suppliers he uses and he is able to purchase all sorts of random things with the reward points. so, the other day, we got a new pocket sized point-and-shoot camera for our trip {i decided not to bring my pro camera because it is big, bulky and heavy} that can shoot photos and video. this will save me the hassle of carrying my bigger camera and we can take video of important moments.

{being a photo-crazed; document-every-moment type of momma, i’ve been stressing out a little about the camera situation for our trip. i really want beautiful images of our time there but i’m nervous about bringing a ton of photo equipment for safety reasons AND i don’t want to waste precious space in our luggage}.

i tried out the point-and-shoot and, although i wasn’t overly impressed based on the rave reviews and high price tag {i only “bought” it because we were using reward points}, it will do the job.

this boy’s a mess!
can you tell we had to get creative in fedex today?! VISA applications are on their way to DC!!

i also ordered a new lens for my camera. i decided on a 28mm lens because i’ve been eyeing them for a while. and, i needed one for photos of the houses dave builds {so we can finally get his website up and going…he is a pen & paper type of guy and hasn’t seen the need for a website before now}. so, i tested the lens out on the boys this afternoon and have decided that i love it. best free purchase EVER. 🙂

trip lans are coming together!! shots are done. prescriptions are filled. visa applications are in the mail. embassy appointment is requested. flights for the boys and my parents are booked. our flights are booked. donations are ready to be packed. this is feeling real!!!!