Blessings and Raindrops

seeking joy in the midst of the ordinary

at the edge of the sea once more.

We have all fallen hard for this place by the sea. This is our third year staying in this same home with it’s gorgeous views and steps down to the white sandy beach.

That first year here, we were in the thick of the seemingly never-ending wait for our referral…

{Before we talk about anything else, let’s just stop right now and discuss how teeny tiny my boys were… I had NO idea. I thought they were so big. They were just babies. Look at Ben’s curls. Oh my heart. Two years have passed in a BLINK}.

Last year, we arrived here anxious for Sylvie to come home. Hoping and praying that it would be soon.

“When we booked this vacation almost a year ago, we were certain that S would be home and this would be our first vacation together as a family of five. We were apprehensive about booking because we had no idea exactly when she would be home and if it would be too soon for a trip to the beach.


To be honest, it hasn’t been easy to be here now without her. I had so many images in my mind of what this week would look like. S and the boys playing together in the sand and surf for the first time as brothers and sister. Moments of bonding and trust forming. Joy and celebration.


Yet, I’m learning to embrace the story God has written for me and my family. Learning to rest in His timing and trust His sovereignty. Knowing that my plans are never something to boast about. Instead, trusting in His plans – which are far greater than I could ever imagine.”

During that week, we learned of the devastating news about the exit permit suspension.

“… I’m choosing to remember the verse He directed me to and affirmed moments later as Beth Moore read the exact verse from the stage where she spoke.

There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. 
{1 Peter 1:6}

I’m choosing to remember the One who called us to this path. He is faithful and good. S is His beloved daughter. We will continue to wait for her to be in our arms. We will continue to pray and hope.”

And, just to keep things interesting, the day before we left for this vacation last year, I found out I was pregnant.  I was shocked…these plans were not my own … they were far greater and higher than anything I could have hoped for.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Needless to say, this year, as we pulled into this familiar driveway as a family of SIX, I could not feel more blessed. Answered prayers abound in this place. The dark night has given way to the joy of the morning.


There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. 
{1 Peter 1:6}

Wonderful, wonderous joy.

a first day.

Dear Ben & Nate,

Last night, I was feeling nostalgic and started looking through old photos and videos. I know you’re technically still little, but, oh my heart, you have grown so much lately. These past four years have been so full of laughter and joy … you first made me a momma and that privilege is one of the greatest joys of my life. I could not be more grateful for every memory we have created together.

As we have prepared over the past several weeks for today {your first day of 4-year-old Pre-K at your new “big boy school”}, we have all felt excitement and anticipation for this new chapter in your lives. Shopping for your school supplies {you are both SO excited to have a big boy spiderman backpack}, meeting your teacher and celebrating with dinner out with just momma & daddy {little sisters stayed home}, have all built up to this morning.

Organizing their backpacks and showing off supplies to Papa 🙂

Dinner out after meeting their new teacher

You will now be in school three times a week for a full day. I’ve been so nervous about this – yet another big transition for you. We have had so much change lately and I’ve been so worried about how you will handle another adjustment.

But, you were both so excited this morning. You didn’t want any help carrying your heavy backpacks…you put them on your back and marched right into your school building. Heads held high.   There were no tears or apprehension about this new place. You found your name and took a seat at your little desk next to new faces.

Nathan’s expression is cracking me up… don’t mess with this guy.

As I look back over “first days” of years past, I cannot help but marvel at the boys you have become. You are no longer my babies or even my toddlers…you have become so independent and your personalities continue to emerge.

I’ve prayed over this new year…over your new school, your new teacher and your new friends. I’ve asked God to shepherd your hearts through the new experiences and lessons you will learn in this new place. I’ve asked that He use this time of learning to prepare your minds and, most importantly, your hearts for what is to come on this road of life. I’ve asked for your hearts to be kind…for you to reach out to new friends and to make others feel loved. I’ve asked that you exude His light in this new place.

What an honor it is to be your momma, sweet boys. I am so very proud of you and am anxiously awaiting the news of how your day went!

With all my love,
Momma

the transition.

We are just rounding out the one month mark of finally having all of our littles under one roof. It still feels somewhat surreal.

Everyone wants to know how Sylvie is adjusting to this new life of hers. She is doing really well. Surprisingly well, actually. Based on behaviors we {and other traveling families} witnessed from her when we visited, we expected a much tougher transition for her little heart.

But, {there’s always a but, isn’t there?!} that doesn’t mean that things are easy or it’s smooth sailing around here. We are stumbling our way through trying to find our new normal.

Remember, we had recently moved far, far away from civilization {okay, it’s only fifteen minutes away from our old house but it feels like we are in the middle of nowhere most days}. Our little family was already shaky adjusting to life with a newborn before we threw in the extra dynamic of a toddler who is adjusting to everything being different and doesn’t have the ability to verbalize emotions or needs.

Days are long. Loooonnnnggg. There are sibling fights to referee, meltdown minefields to very carefully navigate, diapers to change {oh, the diapers… I want to crawl under the table and cry thinking about the diapers…}, medicines to dispense and littles to entertain {who, might I add, happen to have boundless energy}. The moment daddy pulls in the driveway in the evening, I yell, “daddy’s home!” and everyone runs outside. Those tires on the gravel are music to my ears most days.

Once bedtime rolls around, if one more person climbs on my lap or pulls on my arm or asks me to hold him/her, I am at the point of losing it. I just want to sit in silence. {I literally just told Dave not to touch me for at least another fifteen minutes}.

I realize that I sound like I’m complaining. I don’t want it to sound that way…I just want to be honest with where we are in this season. Because I know, this too shall pass. 

And you know what? The sweet moments of laughter and snuggles will continue to carry us through until we are on the other side of the transition. Because, y’all. Those sweet moments? They are so very sweet. They literally pull me back up and help me to carry on.

Like today…

When a game of peek-a-boo turned into full-on belly laughter from us all.

When Nathan asked for three snacks to be sure Sylvie was included {this is progress, people}.

When the boys were napping {mercy upon mercy} and the girls were giggly and loving and posing for photos.

When the afternoon latte was hand-delivered by a real-live adult friend {oh, how I’ve missed you friends!}….accompanied by blessed adult conversation while the littles played all around us.

Or the quiet moments on the front porch swing with my man after the mad-dash of bedtime. Laughing about how crazy this life is and how ridiculously blessed we are by it all.

So, yes. This transition is not quite what I thought it would be. It’s busy. It’s exhausting. It’s overwhelming at times. But the abundance of joy outweighs it all. {And, the secret stash of ice cream and chocolate cookies helps}.