The words shared on IF:Equip yesterday were a balm to my restless soul. In this season of nurturing little hearts and pouring into the basic needs of little ones, I am feeling weary and small.
My days are full of diaper changes, endless loads of laundry and piles of dishes, wiping noses, redirecting behavior, anticipating meltdowns, feedings, wiping tears, singing silly songs, picking up toys, sweeping floors {and turning on the robot vacuum – best purchase ever}, kissing boo boos, and a bounty of bonding and attachment work.
I have so many friends out in the world changing it for the better. Making a difference. Pouring themselves out for the oppressed. Loving on the lost. Physically making changes in the lives of others. I feel like I’m not living the life I was called to. A sense of restlessness…I should be doing more. I need to go and do.
Oh, friends. What a lie from the enemy.
As I was lamenting another friend going on an incredible trip to do life-giving work in a faraway, desperate-for-the-gospel land, my compassionate and convicting husband reminded me that, here and now, I am doing life-giving, life-breathing, holy work. As we were talking, I was feeding our littlest love. I was holding her in my arms, she was snuggled up against me peacefully enjoying the nourishment that my body was providing {really, that is just miraculous} when Dave reminded me that this work of raising and nurturing these little lives is my life’s highest calling. Time stood still in that moment. I marveled at the miracle in my arms. Tears filled my eyes. I saw the lies for what they were – the enemy desperately trying to belittle this holy work. My pride and arrogance attempting to take center stage … my desire to do something “big” for the Kingdom, something that I tried to convince myself was for His Glory, when in fact, was only a mask for my own selfish pride.
The gospel of grace.
“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ …” {Galatians 1:6}
As Jennie Allen and Natalie Grant discuss, we have to fight to live in the gospel of grace…
In my own life, this is a beautiful reminder that nothing I can do changes the fact that I am redeemed and I am free. I am free to live in His grace. I am free to enjoy these good gifts He has graciously given. I am free to let go of expectations and comparisons and guilt. I am free to rest in Him.
Soaking in His grace this morning and praying that you, dear friends, can do the same.
Amen! No greater calling than the one you are rising to each morning! Don't you forget it, and thanks for reminding me.
Yes! Thank you for constantly reminding me:) love you, friend!
Yesterday as I was playing with Naomi & talking with her, I realized that my kingdom work right now is building into my littles a deep love for Jesus and a tender heart
(I couldn't write anymore for some reason…continuing on) a tender heart for people all around the world. That is huge and scary! By God's grace will we be able to mother well. Love you friend
Exactly!!! Such an overwhelmingly awesome task. I feel completely ill-equipped for such an honor. Thankful for grace that fills in all of the gaps! And for friends like you that are walking this journey alongside me!
I just finished my post which basically talks about feeling lost b/c I am moving on from the season of having littles and staying at home. I was so comfortable there. I read this post, here you are in the thick of all that I miss. It was almost a bit ironic. Yes, girl I just want to reaffirm, the seeds you are planting right now, are some of the most important. I live for the big moments, the big adventures, I am a junkie like that. Know this, there is simply something sacred about the daily pouring out of self that motherhood requires….especially in the stages you are in…and a beautiful beauty how He sweeps in and fills you when your empty with the grace and strength you need just in that moment. Humbleness tinged with holy…. 😀 Prayers for you in this season….
Oh, friend. How cool that you are on the other side of this season and could encourage me so beautifully in the midst of finding your own "new normal". So thankful this crazy, amazing adoption community brought about your friendship. Thank you for these words !!